Ongoing trauma

Hello Abby,  

I'm so sorry to read that you are going through so much pain, loss, and trauma right now.  These things would have overwhelmed any person.  There is only so much we can take before we are thrown out of that comfort window and can no longer stay emotionally regulated and self-soothe.  I would like to look at some of the resiliency factors that might help you overcome the emotional overwhelm you are feeling. 

One of the first things that come to my mind is a strong support system.  When something traumatic happens, the first thing we need is support.  This could be support from people already in our lives, but it could also be support of the community, neighbors, therapists, doctors, etc.  Buffer yourself with all the support you can find.  None of us can handle so much stress on our own.  We need people and pets to lean on for support.

The basic needs of air, water, food, shelter, sleep, are the primary human needs that are essential to us before we can move on to safety, love and belonging.  It sounds like you may need to start from those basic needs and build your way back up Maslow's Hierarchy of needs of self-esteem, strength, and living your best life.  Let's start small and work your way back up to comfort.  It's too overwhelming to think that everything can be addressed right away.  We may need to back up and start small.  And, that's ok.  You are never in a rush, and it is always on your own time to recover and at your own pace.

Which leads me to my final thought of self-compassion and self-care.  You have been through so much, and the last thing you need is to be hard on yourself.  We often blame ourselves for the things that happen, and that is the last, least healthy thing you need to be doing to yourself right now.  Let's work on giving yourself some kindness about the current situation you find yourself in, and notice how much room you will have to move out of it and into a better place in life.  Feeling stuck is sometimes fighting what is.  Rather than fighting, allow yourself some compassion to feel what you feel, and slowly rebuild your strength and confidence. 

You can recover from this, and with some help, you will.  We are here for you.  Good luck!