What exercises can i be doing to help me be more patient?

That is a great question! Thank you for allowing me the chance to answer it!  During the process of therapy, I generally utilize something called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that makes the connection between our thoughts and behaviors.  If we can change our thoughts then we can change our behaviors... or the opposite, if we change our behaviors then we can change our thoughts. Often at the beginning of therapy, I start with more of a "teaching" technique.  This helps clients to identify skills they already had as well as learn new coping strategies.  After I have helped a client build their "tool box," I introduce a concept called Pause, Process, and Proceed (PPP).  This concept is really geared to help clients organize their coping strategies into a purpose– slow down, reduce impulsive interactions, and act intentionally on rational thoughts instead of emotions.

Pause is the step in which we exercise distraction or thought-stopping techniques.  In this step of the PPP method, the goal should be to lower your emotion and allow you to return to rational thought processes.  Pausing is the act of disengaging or removing from the situation and placing either physical, mental, or emotional distance between the trigger and yourself. You may stay in this step for a very brief moment or it may be a time in which you remain there for a longer period of time.  If you cannot begin to Process, problem-solve, or prepare for proceeding then you will need to remain in the pausing step.  This may also mean that you will employ a variety of skills and techniques to remain present in the moment of pausing. You may also return or shift back to pausing while actively trying to Process if your emotional state escalates.

Process is the step in which we begin to prepare for a change in behavior or action.  In this step of the PPP method, the goal is to problem-solve, talk-through, and/or prepare to Proceed with new behaviors or actions.  This step really is a time to think, develop a plan of action, and determine the implementation steps.  During the change process with therapy, we are beginning to learn new behaviors and skills that can result in better outcomes and be more effective.  These skills often take time to feel more natural and apply effectively.  Taking time to focus on the “why’s”, “what’s”, “how-to’s”, “who’s” and “when’s” of changed behavior creates intentionality in seeking a different result. You may need to utilize someone else, like friends or family, during this step or it may be done independently.  During this step, if your emotional state escalates, shift back to Pause until your emotion adjusts.

Proceed is the step in which we implement the changed-behavior.  Acting out our prepared plan of action in the new “healthy” skills with the intention of a changed outcome.  The changed outcome may be internal or external.  It may result in changed emotions, changed behaviors, and/or changed relationships. Slowing the process down will allow us to reduce impulsive behaviors, acting on emotion, and potentially reduce negative consequences. Sometimes the act of proceeding looks like implementing a new skill or it can be doing “nothing”.  When we do “nothing” this means we have internally changed through the Processing step either through emotion management, changed perspective, or internal problem-solving. If the changed outcome is external, this will be done through the implementation of our plan of action and using new skills effectively.

Keep practicing your coping strategies. This will be important because they often don't come naturally at first. Practice them regularly, even when you don't feel it's necessary.  This helps the body and the brain get accustomed to the new behaviors so that when you need them, your body will be more likely to know how to respond.  CBT is about re-wiring the brain, making new pathways for improved thoughts and behaviors. Just like a path in the woods, that takes time, energy, consistency, and work. 

I wish you good luck in your journey! Keep asking for help and support, keep exploring new ways to respond, and if you haven't already, consider therapy!