Physical Touch And Other Love Languages

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, love is in the air. It’s the time of year when many of us descend upon the department store in search of chocolates, flowers, and teddy bears. Some couples might have a fancy date night in store, or a lavish gift they have picked out for their partner. 

Others might be content with a lazy night indoors watching television and being close to each other. 

There are a variety of ways for individuals to express affection and share intimate moments with their romantic partners. Each of us has a preferred way to express love for our partner. This is known as love language.

This article aims to define love languages and what the different types of love languages are. There are many physical gestures and expressions that make up each of our love languages. This article also aims to explore how to find out what love language suits you and your romantic relationship. 

What is a love language?

If you’re reading this article, you likely speak and understand a language. A language is simply a means of communication. Love languages are just as simple. Love languages are the ways you communicate your love to others, whether it be friends, family, or romantic partners. 

Figuring out your own love language in addition to your partner’s preferred love language can be crucial to a successful romantic relationship. When you and your partner’s love languages are on the same page and you both find ways to meet these needs, the relationship is far more successful. 

There are five recognized love languages according to the originator of the idea, Gary Chapman, Ph.D

Here are the five recognized love languages: 

• Words of affirmation. This love language entails showering verbal praise on your partner and giving them reminders that they matter to you. This can be especially beneficial if you have a partner who might require reassurance more often than others, possibly due to prior trauma and abuse. 
• Acts of service. Most of us enjoy doing favors and going out of our way to help out the ones who matter most to us. An act of service could be as small as being the designated driver for your partner’s trip to the bar, doing yard work and household chores for your partner, and a variety of others. 
• Giving and receiving gifts. Some partners love to have a visual representation of their partner’s love. It could be as simple as picking them up a hot pizza or buying them tickets to see their favorite band. Giving gifts is also an important aspect of love language.
• Quality time. Individuals with this love language are often content merely being in the presence of their partner. Practicing active listening and clearing off your schedule to make time for your partner are both examples of quality time love language in action. For partners who show love via quality time, a date night might entail something as simple as sitting at home watching Netflix.
• Physical touch. This is the preferred love language of those who pay special attention to body language. These partners enjoy hugs, holding hands, cuddling, kissing, and other forms of physical intimacy. People who prefer this type of love language might appreciate public displays of affection as well.

Examining the many love languages in your life

There are a host of benefits to finding out your love language and finding out your partner’s love language as well. In addition to the obvious benefits it has for your current relationship, becoming attuned to your and your partner’s love languages can also increase our capacity for empathy, our ability to connect with others, and our gratitude as well. 

Many of us will read the list of five love languages and find that more than one applies to what we would like in a partner. For some of us, all five are crucial to a successful relationship. 

To identify one’s own love language, it can be beneficial to look back on your prior relationships and analyze what you liked or did not like about your partner’s behavior. Perhaps it bothered you that your partner rarely or never said “I love you,” or you might have been hurt when a partner forgot to get you a birthday present. Take note of these things and how they made you feel and use these experiences to figure out your own love language and how to apply it to future relationships. 

Love languages are like any language. It can be frustrating when what you’re trying to communicate to someone is not understood, and vice versa. This is why love language is crucial. The proof is in the science: paying attention to your partner’s love language can increase satisfaction in romantic relationships.

The many facets of physical touch

One aspect of the various love languages that might cause confusion is that of physical touch. It is important to remember that physical touch as a love language is not merely the same thing as sex. Many of us might feel more loved when we receive non-sexual physical contact such as hugs. However, sexuality and meeting your partner’s physical and sexual needs can also be an important part of love language. 

Want to find out your love language?

Connect with a licensed professional

If your partner’s love language is not touch, try one of the other love languages. There are also resources to explore that could make you or your partner more comfortable with physical touch, such as therapy. Some ways to explore physical touch are starting small with hand holding or cuddling. It is crucial to communicate with your partner to figure out their love language.

How therapy can help

Maybe you don’t have the adequate relationship experience to be quite sure of your language at this point in time. Perhaps you are having trouble finding partners who share your preferred method of expressing love. If this is the case, there are resources available. Research has shown that therapy can help to improve communication between partners in romantic relationships, allowing for more satisfying and longer-lasting relationships overall.

Online therapy is one option at your disposal. Connecting with a licensed mental health professional can help us figure out our love language and understand ourselves and our partners better. It can also give us insight into the safe ways to explore physical touch and establish boundaries. 

Takeaway

Love languages are simply the way each of us prefers to express love and affection for our partners, as well as our friends and family. Figuring out your love language through options like self-reflection, communication, and online therapy is crucial to a successful romantic relationship. Figuring out our love language and our partner’s love language helps increase our empathy and make us better partners in the long run.