Advice For Parents Of Picky Eaters

If you’re not a picky eater yourself, it can be hard to understand why your toddler might have an aversion to trying new foods or eating their fruits and vegetables. You might feel desperate to address the picky eating, and to help your child create healthy eating habits. 

We recognize and validate that it can be tiring trying to figure out how to help a picky eater—but you're not alone. There are plenty of tips and tricks to help you out as you continue to expand your child’s diet. 

Read on for some advice for parents of picky eaters and explore the possible role of online therapy in the process.

Types of picky eaters

There’s more than just one type of picky eater. Some notable types can include sensory-dependent eaters, preferential eaters, general perfectionists and behavioral responders. Each subtype generally has their own set of nuances and preferences around how the child eats.

For instance, general perfectionists might not eat food that touches. Preferential eaters might not try any new foods or foods that are mixed with one another. Sensory-dependent eaters may not touch food that either smells or looks “weird” or that appears to have a texture they’re not used to. Finally, behavioral responders might act out when their food doesn’t seem just right. They might yell, cry or gag just looking at food—or won’t even come to the dinner table at all even when they don’t know what’s for dinner even if they’re hungry. 

Additionally, children living with sensory issues or disorders like ADHD might also be picky eaters due to their unique sensory preferences and experiences.

Tips for getting your child to eat

So, you may have realized you have a picky eater. What can you do? People of any age can be picky eaters—but this can often be particularly common to see among toddlers. Here are some toddler-friendly ideas for parents to use as they work to expand their picky eaters’ palate:

Make eating fun

To do this, you might consider using fun, colorful bowls and plates, cutting food into shapes and playing games at the dinner table. Who said eating had to be boring?

Offer new choices

It can be important for parents to offer new food choices consistently to their kids. If the child decides they don’t like it, you can try to keep reintroducing the food—even if that means mixing it with something else that they do like. There are lots of creative ways to incorporate “disliked” foods into a meal—which can include adding it to soup, mixing it into pasta, recipes, using it in a sauce, and more.

Be patient

Your child might still be learning about food and eating, so you might try to be patient as they grow. It can help parents realize that you can respect their quirks when it comes to eating without letting them control the entire culinary experience.

Let them feed themselves

Sometimes kids appear to be picky eaters when really, they might just want more control. If your kid is trying to feed themselves, you may try to let them, or at least let them help. If the choice is between a picky eater who refuses to eat or having a possible mess to clean up because your child chooses to feed themselves, many might choose the latter option.

Practice what you preach

If you want your child to try new foods, you might consider trying new foods yourself in front of them. You can even taste food in front of them and say things like “yum” to show them that eating a new food can be a positive experience.

Pay attention to language

Telling your child that they don’t like something may reinforce that belief for them. Instead of telling your child they don’t like that new food they just tried, you can try switching up your language. A more helpful phrase to say could be that your child just isn’t used to the new food yet. 

Nutrition for picky eaters

Having a picky eater doesn’t mean nutrition won’t matter. It does and will continue to for many children. There are strategies to consider that can help to ensure your child is still getting the nutrition most kids need. You may consider incorporating these additional tips to help incorporate things like vegetables and fruits and bolster your child’s nutrition: 

Incorporate some of their favorite foods at mealtime

If there are foods you know your child likes, you might consider incorporating some of those same foods with each meal— and then filling the rest of your child’s with other foods. This may help them to start eating a meal with the food they like, eventually eating other foods to satiate their appetite. 

Have a routine

It may help to try to prepare meals and snacks around the same scheduled time each day. Snacking constantly or not having a routine may lead to overeating, undereating, or rushed eating, which can lead to less healthy options.

Set a good example

If you eat a healthy and balanced diet, your kids may be more likely to do the same. You can teach kids and set a good example by trying different foods, eating healthily for your needs, and putting away your food when you’re full.

When it’s more than picky eating

For example: An eating disorder like anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder could be present. Eating disorders might not be obvious by looks alone, and anyone can have one at virtually any age. 

Parents can play an important role in looking out for and catching an eating disorder before it worsens. Here are some signs and symptoms you can watch for as a parent:

• Exercising to an excessive degree
• Child refuses to eat in front of the family or other people; wanting to eat alone
• Going to the bathroom after meals (possibly to purge their food)
• Weighing themselves on the scale constantly
• Tracking their weight meticulously
• Behavioral changes
• Eating an abnormal amount of food but not gaining any weight
• Becoming weaker
• Dizziness or fainting
• Dental or mouth infections/problems
• Being extremely cold all the time
• Being derogatory about their self-image
• Obsessing about their appearance
• Not wanting to go out
• Formation of depression and anxiety disorders
• Mood changes

There can be many possible reasons or contributing factors to the development of an eating disorder. Pressures at home, work, and school can contribute as well as any type of bullying from friends, family, or peers. 

Your child might be in a sport or other activity that puts a high emphasis on weight or appearance. Or, they might have gone through a stressful event that triggers the eating disorder. Whatever the reason, getting help for your child can be important. If you suspect an eating disorder, help can be made available. You might consider consulting with an online therapist for support. 

Need more support?

Having a child who is a picky eater or who has an eating disorder can be challenging. If you or your child need more support, help can be available through BetterHelp for adults (18 and older), and through TeenCounseling for teens. 

These online platforms can give you opportunities to hire highly trained, licensed therapists who can provide picky eating help and support for your unique concerns. You can message and speak with your therapist on your own time from wherever you have an internet connection, which may feel more convenient for busy parents and teens. 

Is online therapy effective?

Research has suggested and affirmed the effectiveness of online therapy for a range of concerns, including eating-related concerns. For instance, one research study evaluated the efficacy of an intervention for parents of individuals with anorexia nervosa (AN) delivered in a workshop vs. online. It concluded that “online interventions for parents of adolescents with AN were equally effective as workshops”.