Spotting The Signs: How To Easily Identify A Potential Pathological Liar's Deception

Pathological lying is more than just being dishonest from time to time. Instead, it involves an individual's persistent habit of deceiving others—but usually without a clear motivation for doing so. Despite its potentially harmful effects, pathological liars may not be fully aware of its impact on themselves and those around them. That's why learning to recognize this tendency in yourself or others can help you know what type of support it may be useful to pursue. Let’s explore how to recognize a pathological or compulsive liar, learn what may cause this tendency, and find out how to handle it.

Understanding pathological lying

Pathological lying, sometimes referred to as mythomania or pseudologia fantastica, is a behavior characterized by the chronic and compulsive telling of lies. Unlike occasional lying that most people might engage in to avoid discomfort or consequences, pathological lying is characterized by its pervasiveness, as well as the often unnecessary nature of the falsehoods.

Pathological or compulsive liars may lie frequently and excessively and may have difficulty distinguishing between reality and what they’ve invented. They may or may not understand the consequences of their behavior, believing in some cases that they are telling “white lies.” They may have trouble sticking to the truth—even if it becomes clear that their lies might be causing harm to themselves or others. While lying in and of itself is a common human behavior, it’s typically done for a reason—such as to avoid social embarrassment or upset. When a person lies frequently and for no obvious reason, it’s likely to be characterized as pathological. 

Pathological lying may exist alongside other mental health issues and conditions like factitious disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. In the case of narcissistic personality disorder, a person’s inflated sense of self-importance is bolstered by their compulsive lying. 

While less common, pathological lying can also play a part in borderline personality disorder (BPD). In those cases, people experiencing BPD may lie in order to manipulate others, many times due to impulsivity or a fear of abandonment.

Recognizing pathological lying

While lying in and of itself is a common human behavior, it’s typically done for a reason—such as to avoid social embarrassment or upset. When a person lies frequently and for no obvious reason, it’s likely to be characterized as pathological. There are numerous signs of pathological lying, though each case can be different. Someone who engages in pathological lying will typically exhibit some or all of the following traits or tendencies:

• Telling frequent and exaggerated lies: People with this tendency may be a habitual liar and engage in deception excessively, and their lies are likely to be elaborate and complicated.
• Rationalizing lies: It’s common for those with this tendency to try and justify their own lies, even in the face of proof to the contrary. They may also make excuses or manipulate the facts to maintain their false stories.
• Portraying themselves in a positive light: In the lies they create, they’re likely to portray themselves as the victim or the hero rather than anyone who was ever at fault. Pathological liars lie for many reasons and may do so to garner sympathy or praise.
• Lacking remorse: Someone who engages in pathological lying may not feel sorry or remorseful for habitual lying. They may be confident in their lies, even when they’re obviously not true.
• Changing their story or defensiveness: When people lie and they are confronted with evidence that contradicts those lies, they may change their story or deny the truth altogether. They may also try to manipulate others to maintain their false story.
• Blaming others for their lies: They may try to deflect blame or shift responsibility onto others. They may also try to deceive others to avoid being caught or held accountable for their behavior. In other cases, they may blame others in order to maintain the false sense that their excessive lying behavior will never be identified.

What causes pathological lying?

The cause of pathological lying behaviors can vary and may be influenced by a combination of genetic, neurological, environmental, and psychological factors. That said, there are a few key elements that are thought to play a role in the development of this trait.

Mental health disorders

Pathological lying can be a feature of mental health disorders, particularly personality disorders such as antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder. People with these conditions may lie compulsively as part of a broader pattern of manipulation, impulsivity, and a disregard for the truth. 

Pathological lying can also be associated with other mental health issues, including anxiety disorders and depression, where lies may serve as a coping mechanism to deal with stress, insecurity, or low self-esteem. 

Biological factors

There may be a biological basis for pathological lying behavior. Some studies have noted specific brain abnormalities in pathological liars,e, while some of the common psychological disorders associated with pathological lying may have a genetic component.

Trauma or abuse

Experiencing trauma or abuse may increase the risk of the development of pathological lying tendencies. People who have been through these types of life experiences may be telling lies as a coping mechanism to avoid facing difficult emotions or situations.

What to do when a loved one exhibits pathological lying behaviors

However, it’s also important to defend yourself and your own mental well-being. Being in any kind of relationship with someone with this tendency can be deeply frustrating since there’s typically no obvious reason for the lies—and because the frequent dishonesty can make it difficult or even impossible for real trust or intimacy to be established. Here are some tips for navigating the situation:

• Seek understanding: Approach the situation with empathy, understanding that their behaviors may be an unhealthy coping mechanism for past trauma or an undiagnosed mental health disorder. 

• Express concerns gently: Approach your loved one with empathy and concern rather than accusation or anger. Use "I" statements to express how their behavior affects you and your relationship.

• Support them: You might encourage them to be themselves around you, reminding them that they don’t need to lie to impress you.  If you notice them beginning to tell a lie, it may be helpful to avoid engaging at all. 

• Encourage them to seek support: While you can offer emotional support and understanding, a mental health professional can provide the necessary expertise to diagnose and treat any underlying issues. 

• Avoid confrontation: When engaging with a person that is displaying a compulsive pattern of lying, remember that they’re unlikely to admit to their lies when confronted. Avoid direct confrontations, as they may lead to defensive or more deceptive behavior. Instead, focus on constructive conversations and solutions.

• Set boundaries: If their behaviors begin to negatively impact you, setting firm, healthy boundaries in regard to how much you’ll engage with them can be a good way to defend yourself. Clearly communicate your boundaries, letting them know what behaviors are unacceptable and the consequences of continued dishonesty.

Mental health support for pathological liars

Because pathological lying can be a symptom of an underlying personality disorder, past trauma, or insecurity, this behavior typically warrants the intervention of a mental health professional. A therapist can help a person understand the root causes of their lying, address any underlying mental health issues, and develop strategies for more honest communication. 

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), for instance, can help in identifying and changing the thought patterns that lead to compulsive lying. Additionally, therapy can provide tools for building self-esteem and improving interpersonal skills, which are often compromised by pathological lying. CBT has been found effective for treating a range of mental health disorders, while Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT) may be appropriate for those living with a personality disorder. 

For those seeking mental health support for pathological lying, online therapy may be a worthwhile consideration. It provides a convenient, less intimidating way to access mental health support, ensuring freedom and flexibility. Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp have been found to be just as effective as traditional face-to-face therapy, and offer a few advantages, including daily messaging with your therapist, counselor-led support groups, and integrated therapy homework and journaling. 

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