Denial: Overview, Effects, And Alternatives
Denial is a common defense mechanism that we often employ unconsciously to avoid uncomfortable emotions and tough circumstances. While it can provide a temporary respite from discomfort, denial can exacerbate a difficult situation and lead to more challenging feelings in the long run. Below, we’re discussing denial, its role in our lives, and how it can be replaced with healthy coping mechanisms.
What is denial?
Life often presents challenges that are difficult to face, leading to emotions and experiences we may not want to confront. When the healthiest and most productive response is typically to address it directly, our minds are adept at avoiding the discomfort that typically accompanies this response. As such, we may use defense mechanisms to limit emotional distress. One such defense mechanism is denial.
Consider, for example, a situation in which someone lives beyond their means financially but denies the reality that they’re spending more than they’re making. They may choose to believe they can get back ahead easily or just ignore the situation completely. While this might allow them to temporarily avoid anxiety and financial stress, it can cause the situation to become even more stressful or unmanageable.
Denial and the ego
Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, introduced the concept of defense mechanisms within his body of work to describe how the unconscious mind operates to protect the individual from anxiety and unacceptable thoughts.
His daughter Anna Freud expanded upon the concept of defense mechanisms, identifying a number of ways we can limit the psychological impact of unpleasantness. Denial is a fundamental defense mechanism—by ignoring the reality of a situation, the ego can better cope with what may otherwise be hard to bear. As a result, the individual is able to reduce or avoid anxiety produced by stressful situations.
In the above example, the individual may experience such a contradiction between the need for financial stability and the desire to reduce stress brought on by addressing their financial situation. Through denial, they may deal with this by denying that the need for financial stability exists.
The effects of denial
Denial can cause people to develop maladaptive behaviors and experience serious life challenges. The negative effects of denial often compound over time—if an individual is aware that a certain situation is worsening, they may try harder to avoid confronting it, allowing the problem to grow. This may result in:
- Delays in seeking help or treatment;
- Exacerbation of existing problems;
- Strained relationships and professional difficulties;
- Missed opportunities for growth and improvement;
- Unresolved underlying issues leading to chronic stress;
- Adverse effects on psychological and physical health.
It is common for people to reach the point where they’re ready for a change, and that often means being honest about their thoughts, feelings, actions, and choices. Below, we’re going to discuss ways people can recognize when they might be in a state of denial and find healthier coping mechanisms.
Confronting and avoiding denial
The ability to identify reality and address uncomfortable situations can be crucial to our ability to accomplish goals, nurture relationships, and foster mental and physical wellness. The following are some tips for avoiding the use of denial as a defense mechanism in your life.
Notice recurring patterns
Because of the nature of denial, it can be hard to identify its presence. Try to look for cycles of challenging scenarios in your life. Do you often allow difficult situations to worsen before addressing them? Do you frequently have trouble accepting reality? It’s possible that you’ve recognized these behaviors in your life but been unaware that they’re part of a common defense mechanism.
Identifying patterns of denial can help you take steps toward confronting challenges and developing healthy coping mechanisms.
Problem-solve
Problem-solving is a proactive approach to dealing with challenges before they escalate. Begin by acknowledging the issue, then break it down into smaller, manageable parts. This process makes it less overwhelming and more actionable. Consider various solutions and their potential outcomes.
For instance, a person struggling with financial hardship may begin by checking their bank statements, identifying opportunities to cut spending. Then, they might create a budget and a spending tracker. They might also discuss the possibility of a raise at work, seek a higher-paying job, or make a plan for a side hustle.
Seek advice and perspective
Even after you’ve come to terms with a problem, it can be easy to fall back into unhealthy cycles of denial. What’s more, avoiding problems for long periods can cause us to reach a point where we must ask for help from others. In such situations, it may be worth seeking the advice or perspective of a trusted individual.
A friend, family member, mentor, or therapist can help you stay accountable, offer valuable guidance or advice, and provide emotional support as you contend with the difficult emotions you have been avoiding.
Develop stress management techniques
Denial is often a way for us to avoid the anxiety and distress that can accompany everyday life. Thus, knowing how to cope with stress in a healthy way can help you address situations with more confidence. There are several proven strategies for reducing stress in your everyday life, including exercising, eating a balanced diet, deep breathing, and practicing mindfulness.
Developing healthy coping mechanisms with online therapy
Working with a therapist, you can develop healthy behaviors and coping mechanisms to address your life circumstances, like meditating, building a new support system, practicing gratitude, or consciously rephrasing language that may convince you of a lack of agency in a challenging situation. Additionally, you can gain valuable insight into your thought processes and behaviors, so you can work with them more intentionally.
A therapist may use an approach like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you overcome denial tendencies. Part of the aim of CBT is to empower people to help themselves in demanding situations. A therapist can do this by teaching an individual how to use different tools and techniques in place of harmful or counterproductive defense mechanisms, like denial.
Studies have shown that online therapy is effective in treating various mental health conditions in which denial is a common coping mechanism. For example, in a study on the efficacy of online cognitive behavioral therapy for grief, researchers found that treatment led to significant reductions in symptoms of depression and loss. The study also notes the ability of online therapy to bridge the treatment gap that often exists due to barriers to mental health care, including geographical limitations, cost, and perceived stigma.
If you’d like to know more about denial or similar defense mechanisms, online therapy can be beneficial. With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can work with a therapist remotely, which can be more comfortable if denial is already making it difficult for you to open up. Your therapist can also connect you with useful resources, such as at-home exercises that may help you develop coping mechanisms on your own time. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp therapists from people who have sought help for similar concerns.
Counselor reviews
"Sharon Valentino has helped me through so much! Since we started working together, just a few months ago, I already feel like I have more power and control over my life. I have let go of some very painful things, I have moved away from abusive relationships, and really gained the skills and tools I need to keep myself safe and happy. She has taught me that I have the power to control my thoughts, my anxiety, and most of all my company. I really like how direct she is; it helps me get grounded and connected to myself. I can't wait to see where I am after working with her a year!!!"
"Amy has been very insightful, offering the right series of skills to help me take control of my own thinking and emotions. She is supportive and always responds from a place of reflection and non-judgment, which gives me greater insight into how to solve my own problems better, rather than stress further. Highly recommend her to anyone, especially if you're feeling "stuck" in life's patterns."
Takeaway
- Previous Article
- Next Article