Ghosting: The New Dating Phenomenon

Updated January 9, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

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If you've taken part in the online dating world, you may be familiar with a term known as "ghosting." Being ghosted can be horrible but what is it and what does it mean? In this article, we will help you become more familiar with ghosting, who ends up ghosting people on online dating platforms, and how it affects the people who are ghosted.

What Is Ghosting?

Ghosting is a term that is used when one person who is typically on a dating app cuts off all communication with a person that they were previously speaking to. This type of disconnect is often sudden and unexplained, which is why the term is called ghosting since the person who stops talking to the victim completely disappears. Ghosting was around long before online dating, but the ease of cutting oneself off from another simply by disappearing online made it more popular with the emergence of online dating apps.

Why Do People Ghost Other People?

People will often ghost other people because it feels like a much easier alternative than having to reach out to them and tell them that they don't want to see them anymore. Someone may also ghost someone because they think that it signifies a lack of interest in dating the other person and that the other person will eventually realize that this is the case. The type of person who ghosts other people frequently has not usually developed the level of emotional maturity needed to break off a relationship and prefers as little contact as possible. As a person continues to ghost other people, the process becomes easier to the point where they do not give it a second thought.

What Happens To The Victims?

Although some people may have little reaction as the person who does the ghosting, the victims of ghosting are often hurt and confused when they suddenly lose contact with a person that they were interested in.

What happens when someone ghosts another person is that victim often has no idea as to why the relationship ended, and they begin to blame themselves to justify the sudden lack of contact. They think up the worst possible situation and start to come up with several reasons why the person would choose to cut them off completely. This can be the most difficult type of breakup since there is no closure and some therapists even say that it is a form of emotional abuse.

 What You Should Do If You Are Ghosted…

If you are ghosted, here are some of the things that you need to do to get back on track after it has happened.

  1. Allow Yourself To Recognize That It Has Happened But Don't Dwell On It

You've been ghosted. It has happened to you, and you need to take the time to recognize it and process it since it is most likely affecting you in some way, shape, or form. However, what you cannot do during this time is dwell on it. Thinking about what may have happened or what you may have done to bring about the end of the relationship will only cause you more pain and prolong the grieving process. Do not blame yourself for anything. It was their choice to end the relationship in an immature way rather than providing you with closure.

  1. Do What You Need To So That You Can Move On With Your Life

If you need to take several days off of work to work through your emotions, do it. If you feel as though a luxury cruise will help you solve the issues you are dealing with, take it. Whatever it is that you need to do to move past the relationship and into an area of healing, that is what you need to do. The most important thing to remember doing times like these is that you are your top priority. If you keep putting others first or if you keep trying to get in contact with the person who ghosted you, you are going to prevent yourself from moving on and preparing yourself for an even better future full of people who will not ghost you.

  1. Find Closure In Your Way

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Although the best type of closure is the closure where you get to talk to your partner and officially end the relationship, this is not an option at the moment. Therefore, you need to create your closure. How can you do this? Well, if you want to do it on your own, you can do something as simple as writing in a journal or talking to a friend and reassuring yourself that you are not at fault and that there are better things ahead of you.

If you want to do it as if you were receiving closure from the other person, you can write a letter, an email, or a social media post to them and either send it or delete it afterward. Although they may never see it, you have officially said what you needed to say, and you have the closure that you have done what you needed to do.

Are you having trouble trying to cope with your ghosting situation? Are you in need of someone to talk to so that you can get through this difficult time easier and move onto better relationships? If this is you, we recommend that you visit BetterHelp is an online counseling platform dedicated to providing affordable and convenient online counseling to those who need it most. Are you interested? If so, click on the link above and you will be brought to a page that will help you connect with the right online counselor for you!

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