Practicing Gratitude: What Does It Mean to Be Grateful?

Gratitude is a sense of appreciation for the positive things in life, and it can be cultivated through intentional habits. Many people find that practicing gratitude regularly helps them feel good, and a growing body of research suggests that it may even have some health benefits. Understanding the true meaning of gratitude and how you can incorporate this practice into your daily life may help you improve your well-being. For professional well-being support, consider meeting with a therapist online or near you.

What does it mean to be grateful?

As gratitude researcher Robert Emmons puts it, gratitude has two parts:

1. Noticing and affirming that there’s goodness in life
2. Acknowledging the sources of this goodness, such as by expressing appreciation

Being grateful can be an internal feeling and/or something you express to yourself or others. You can be grateful for anything, such as a sunny day, a good friend, or a past challenge that helped you grow. For some people, gratitude is a natural response, but others find it beneficial to make a conscious effort to practice it. Some find working with a therapist to be helpful in building a gratitude practice.

Gratitude across cultures and belief systems

Many believe that gratitude is a core human capability, and it’s a key part of many cultures, religions, and belief systems. For example, most faith traditions have a prayer for gratitude to their god, and many also have leading teachers like prophets or other deities who promote this virtue.

That said, the form and impacts of gratitude aren’t the same for everyone. An article published by Greater Good Magazine points out that the ways people feel, express, and view gratitude can vary widely depending on their culture. Looking to multiple different cultures to understand the full meaning of gratitude may be helpful for your own practice. 

Everyday examples of feeling grateful

You can feel grateful for virtually anything that brings joy, improves life, or offers some other benefit. For example, you might feel grateful for:

• A person, like partners, family members, parents, or friends
• Having your daily needs met, like food, a warm bed, or clean drinking water
• The pleasure and wonder you can find in the beauty of nature, like birdsong or a flower
• Specific events, from enjoyable times with loved ones to difficult times that helped you learn

What gratitude is not

Being grateful for all the good things in your life may help you develop a positive perspective, but forcing gratitude may be counterproductive. You may fail to feel grateful when you’re facing a difficult or traumatic situation, for example, and trying to force it is unlikely to be helpful. Doing so may lead you into toxic positivity, which can look like guilting yourself for feeling challenging emotions like sadness or anger. 

A mindset of toxic positivity and forced gratitude might also contribute to emotional suppression, which can have consequences for mental health. Remember that it’s okay to feel upset sometimes, and defaulting to immediate gratitude might not be the best approach in every situation. The most important thing is usually to practice self-compassion, allowing yourself to process your feelings in a healthy way without guilt or shame.

Finally, gratitude is generally not a standalone treatment for any mental illness. Some mental health professionals may incorporate elements of the wisdom of gratitude into the care they provide. However, they'll typically rely primarily on evidence-based therapy modalities for addressing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other concerns.

Potential benefits of practicing gratitude: What the research says

There’s a lot of talk about gratitude because of the potential positive impact it can have on you and the world around you. You might be more motivated to start a gratitude practice after learning the power of its possible benefits, such as the following. 

Creating a cycle of good deeds

When we appreciate all the things that are good in our lives, we tend to be more likely to do kind acts and be generous. This may create a cycle in which being grateful leads to positive actions and a greater appreciation for everything around us.

Increasing positive emotions

Gratitude might also help us hold onto positive emotions like joy, peace, and satisfaction, which may help us live happier and more fulfilling lives. One study suggests that a consistent gratitude practice may help boost mood.

Promoting well-being

As one study puts it, gratitude may have “modest but beneficial value” for our health and well-being. Studies are ongoing, but several have linked this attitude and practice to the following benefits in some populations:

• Improved sleep quality. One study links a gratitude practice to fewer sleep disturbances. 
• Decreased mental health symptoms. While it’s not a treatment on its own, some studies suggest that gratitude may help decrease perceived stress and depression symptoms.
• Reduced stress. Studies suggest that people who regularly practice gratitude may be less stressed, and the stress they do feel may have less of an impact on their health.
• Improved emotion regulation and motivation. Some research even indicates that gratitude may improve cognitive function, which might help with emotion regulation and self-motivation.
• Improved physical health. A 2021 review suggests that a gratitude practice may help reduce inflammation and encourage people to engage in healthy habits, which might improve cardiovascular health.

Many of these studies point out that the link between gratitude and health may be partly due to its association with other positive behaviors. For example, it's likely not the act of being thankful that automatically improves your health, but feelings of gratitude for your health that drive you to take good care of yourself every single day.

Common obstacles to gratitude

Even though practicing gratitude may have benefits, it might not always be easy to practice. One common obstacle is the human bias toward negativity, which may make it easier to notice the good things than the bad or difficult things in life. Using cognitive reframing techniques might help you develop a more balanced view. Some people also find it helpful to post a note on their desk or mirror that reminds them to consider gratitude each day.

Another common obstacle to feeling gratitude is comparison. Measuring your daily life or joys against someone else’s may cause negative emotions and, in some cases, contribute to mental health difficulties. Limiting social media use might help you reduce opportunities for comparison. It could also help to remember that everyone has their own struggles and challenges, even if it doesn’t seem like it. 

How to practice gratitude in daily life

There are two main ways to practice gratitude in the course of daily life: feeling it and expressing it. Both are simple and can be done for free at any time.  

First, feeling gratitude can involve tuning into a sense of mindful awareness and savoring the present moment. Practicing mindfulness meditation regularly may help you build this skill.

You can also express gratitude, either to yourself or others. You may reflect on what you’re thankful for by making a list, sometimes called gratitude journaling. You could also tell a loved one that you appreciate their presence in your life, or write them a note saying as much. To spread positivity more widely, you could consider sharing what you’re grateful for on social media.

Can gratitude strengthen relationships?

Showing your gratitude to others may have multiple benefits. Research suggests that it may strengthen your relationships, since it can help people feel deeply appreciated for who they are and what they bring to the connection, and it may even improve self-esteem. 

Keep in mind, however, that an individual’s culture and personality may impact how or when they like to feel appreciated. For example, some people might feel uncomfortable with you expressing an abundance of gratitude for them publicly, such as on social media or in front of others. The best way to show appreciation to those you love usually involves considering their preferences and boundaries.

Building a life of gratitude with support from a therapist

If you’re looking to incorporate gratitude into your everyday life, a therapist can provide guidance. They may offer practical strategies for feeling and expressing appreciation, and they may also teach you how to balance this attitude in an emotionally healthy way.

Know that you don’t need to have symptoms of a mental health condition to benefit from therapy, though a therapist can help you address them if so. Therapy may be helpful to anyone who is looking for support in managing life’s challenges.

Exploring online therapy

If you’re interested in receiving this kind of support, you have options depending on your needs and preferences. You might choose in-person therapy if you’d rather work with a professional at their office, while online therapy may be a more convenient option if you don't want to commute or don’t have many providers near you. Online therapy allows you to meet with a licensed therapist remotely, via phone, video, or live chat, and it also tends to be more affordable than in-person care without insurance.

Research on the effectiveness of online therapy

For years, researchers have been studying the effectiveness of therapy that takes place via phone, video, or chat. Findings suggest that virtual therapy can often be as effective as in-person therapy. 

For instance, one study indicates that online and in-office cognitive behavioral therapy produced “comparable outcomes” in participants. That said, it’s usually of maximum importance to choose the therapy format that works best for you, whether that’s in person or online.