What Is Empathy, And Why Does It Matter?

Medically reviewed by Kayce Bragg
Updated March 3, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Have you ever felt sad when a friend told you they were experiencing hardships or happy when you noticed your partner smiling? Even if you didn’t mean to, you might have been experiencing empathy. 

Empathy is the ability to identify, understand, and often experience the emotions of others. While it can be expressed unknowingly, it can also be developed and practiced over time. Continue reading further to learn more about "what is empathy".

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What is empathy? 

Empathy definition psychology is the ability to understand and put ourselves in another person’s shoes. Providing a more detailed description, the American Psychological Association defines empathy as “understanding a person from [their] frame of reference rather than one’s own, or vicariously experiencing that person’s feelings, perceptions, and thoughts.” 

This APA further explains that a desire to help or fix a problem may not necessarily be a part of the definition of empathy. Being empathetic or using empathy to validate someone’s emotions may be as helpful to someone as taking practical action, depending on the situation and individual. All some people need is for someone to see things from their point of view.

You might have heard that empathy is important, but empathy is not a natural response for everyone. However, empathy can be learned through compassion training exercises, and making the effort to build empathy can lead to greater self-awareness, help develop emotional intelligence, and lead to positive emotions and an overall better sense of well-being in your personal life.

Compassion vs empathy

Many people look at the definition of empathy and compassion as a single concept. While compassion and empathy have common traits, they are actually two different things. Both compassion and empathy are based in understanding other human beings' thoughts and emotions, feeling compassion takes it a step further. To feel compassion, one takes that understanding of other people’s emotions and adds a sense of common humanity that makes them want to help or support them. When you practice compassion you find that you are compelled to take action to relieve other people’s suffering or help people feel good. 

Empathy and compassion are branches of the same tree that helps us understand people. They both go beyond sympathetic concern, but true compassion goes further than empathy.

Types of empathy

Two types of empathy are often studied, including cognitive and emotional empathy. These forms may be expressed independently of one another or simultaneously, and they’re skills that can each be useful in specific situations.

Cognitive empathy

Cognitive empathy can refer to an ability to recognize and assess another person’s emotions. Often called perspective-taking, cognitive empathy may require you to think about a situation from a different viewpoint than your own.

For example, your friend may be sad about losing a relative. Using logic and cognitive empathy, you can identify that your friend is feeling sad by seeing that they are crying or paying attention to physical cues in their body. While you may not necessarily experience their emotions, you may recognize people’s suffering for what it is.

Cognitive empathy can be used in various situations where you may not need to experience an emotional connection with someone but do need to be aware of what they’re feeling. For example, it may be beneficial for you to recognize why someone who works under you at a job is experiencing stress so you can improve working environments as a manager. 

Emotional empathy

Emotional empathy, also called affective empathy, is a subjective experience in which you pick up the emotions of others and feel them yourself. In the above example, where a friend has lost a relative, you may experience sadness as you see their reaction to the event. Instead of using a cognitive process to identify their emotions and come to a conclusion, you’re sensing them and displaying them yourself.

Emotional empathy may be used when a more demonstrative expression of emotions is appropriate. For example, someone you care about may have received a promotion, and celebrating and showing excitement alongside them may make them feel validated in their feelings. 

The importance of empathy 

Empathy may provide insight into other people’s behavior, thoughts, and feelings, and this type of emotional intelligence can be helpful at home, in the workplace, and in social settings. 

When we’re empathetic, we may make positive choices for ourselves and others. We may see the humanity in others more efficiently, as we can connect with them through emotional similarities and understanding. 

Empathy may improve relationships

Showing and receiving empathy can help you nurture healthy relationships. According to one study, displaying empathy can improve satisfaction, alleviate conflict, and reduce symptoms of depression in romantic relationships. 

The ability to see your significant other’s perspective (and vice versa) may foster a healthy, collaborative partnership. You may be able to compromise more often, help each other more effectively, and forgive each other more readily. 

You can also show empathy in non-romantic or intimate relationships. When you show empathy in your relationships, you may feel more connected with others and build stronger bonds.

Empathy can improve workplace environments

Showing empathy in the workplace may help you get along with coworkers, manage employees, and produce solid work. By practicing compassionate leadership, you can help coworkers or employees solve practical problems by understanding their emotions in the workplace. An empathetic boss, for example, may focus on fostering a healthy work-life balance for their employees. This effort could end up improving relationships and productivity in the long run. 

An empathetic person may also produce quality work in a creative career. For example, a writer who feels deep emotional connections with their work may be able to connect with more readers. 

Empathy can improve mental health 

People who learn to be more empathetic, both with themselves and others, can often improve their mood and mental wellness. One study found a strong link between self-compassion, empathy, and happiness. 

Empathizing with others may help you understand their emotions as well as your own. As you become attuned to the feelings of others, you may start to pay more attention to how you feel, leading to greater self-awareness. 

Additionally, just as we can be empathetic toward others, we may also express empathy for ourselves. Self-care is one way to show empathy to yourself. Activities such as drawing, spending time in nature, or exercising may be a few ways to care for your emotional needs. 

Potential drawbacks to empathy

Although empathy may be beneficial in many situations, there are times when empathy may have a negative impact on our lives. This could happen when our external environment or society provides challenges for sensitive or empathetic individuals. 

Sensitivity and compassion fatigue 

One example of a negative experience of empathy is when an individual who feels empathetic may become fatigued, drained, or suffer mental health concerns in a hostile work environment or societal group that rejects sensitivity. In other cases, a healthcare worker or mental health professional may experience compassion fatigue.Compassion fatigue occurs when a person becomes tired or stressed from offering empathy and care frequently.

Feeling empathy toward unkind individuals 

If you experience empathy toward someone who negatively influences your life, being empathetic may lead you to stay in an unhealthy relationship to avoid upsetting the other person. You might also try to believe that the person has your best interests in order or that you need to “do better” to get them to treat you better. In cases of abuse, this may be common. 

If you are experiencing or witnessing domestic violence or abuse, reach out for support from the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They are available 24/7. 

Incorrect assumptions or emotional empathy 

Finally, empathy may cause problems such as compassion fatigue if your inferences and understanding of the other person’s feelings are inaccurate. You may think a friend is feeling happy because they’re smiling, but facial expressions may be misleading, and they might be upset. If you misjudge your friend’s needs, it can create emotional distance between you. 

If you find that you’re having trouble expressing empathy healthily, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for advice and support. 

How to practice empathy

Some people experience empathy less readily than others. Those who were not shown as much empathy when they were young, for example, may find it more challenging to have awareness of the emotions of others and feel as though they “lack empathy.” 

If you’re looking to become more empathetic, it can help to build certain habits. Even though you can’t always consciously manipulate your emotions, you can practice empathy and develop it over time. 

Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine suggests six ways you can increase your empathy:

    1. Be more curious about and interested in people you do not know.

    2. Forget about your prejudices and look for things you have in common with others.

    3. Try to experience being in someone else’s life, like going to their church or spending time in a place they frequent.

    4. Be present with them in your conversations, practice active listening, and open up to them honestly.

    5. Practice empathy in the larger world.

    6. Develop your imagination as much as possible, imagining people and scenarios drastically different from who you interact with and your circumstances.

You may also choose to practice loving-kindness meditation, learn a new language, visit a new culture, or research a topic you don’t know much about. 

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Empathy’s role in therapy

In therapy, a mental health professional’s empathy toward you can provide a level of understanding and support you might not experience elsewhere. A therapist may also help you learn to be more empathetic through role-playing exercises, in which you pretend to be someone else and respond the way you’d imagine them responding in a specific scenario. 

This exercise may help you view the other person’s perspective and motivations more clearly, as well as increase your capacity for practicing compassionate empathy toward yourself and others. When you can empathize with another person, you may feel less hurt by their actions and better understand how to interact with them in the future.

Therapy as a tool for empathy

Therapy may benefit you if you’d like to learn empathy or find an empathetic treatment option. Therapy doesn’t have to only be for a mental health condition or illness. You can reach out for professional support for a variety of concerns. 

Many individuals seeking a comfortable and affordable alternative to traditional counseling try online therapy. Research shows that online therapy may create a more empathetic relationship between a therapist and their client. In one study, participants who engaged in online and traditional face-to-face therapy found online therapists more empathetic and supportive than in-person therapists. Research suggests that these findings are significant because empathy can lead to a solid therapeutic alliance and, as a result, successful treatment.

If you’re having trouble identifying and understanding your emotions, or the emotions of others, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. The licensed therapists on platforms such as BetterHelp can help you learn about and develop empathy from the comfort of your home through voice calls, video calls, or in-app messaging. Your therapist can also connect you with valuable tools and resources so that you can work on specific areas of concern outside of sessions. 

Takeaway

Being empathetic may help you nurture healthy relationships, learn more about others, and understand your positive and negative emotions. If you’re seeking help navigating your feelings, know that support is available. 

A compassionate and empathetic counselor may provide you with valuable insight as you work through your emotions and practice empathy in your daily life. Consider reaching out as a first step.

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