As your daughter gets older, you may find that your relationship is not as close as it used to be, and the love might feel different. Your daughter's classmates, peers, and activities become more important, and it’s hard to carve out parent and daughter bonding time you used to love so much. With all these changes, it can be tough to find ways to let your daughter know that you love her. You may feel that your love is drifting apart. “I love my daughter”, you might say, “but I have no idea how to let her know.”
No doubt about it, the love bond between a daughter and her mother is special and unique. When you're looking for ways to show "I love my daughter", read on.
Well, here are some simple things you can do during your normal routine to let your daughter feel "my love".
Dance With Her
Turn up a song she loves loudly and have a dance party! Show her you know the words by singing along. She will get the message that you love relaxing and having fun with her, a memory she can cherish for years afterward. She will also feel the love since you care about the songs she likes, know them and enjoy them enough to dance to them.
Besides being a fun activity for building memories, dancing is also good for your health! It boosts your cardio and the levels of feel-good endorphins in your brain.
And it takes hardly any time or energy to do. Just turn up your speakers, cue up a good playlist, and get your dancing shoes on.
Don’t worry if your daughter seems a little embarrassed at first! Deep inside, she feels honored that you care enough to do it, and respects you for tossing aside your inhibitions.
Brush Her Hair
Yes, we know; she can brush her hair now. But there’s something so intimate about the gesture of brushing your daughter’s hair for her. It also gives you some much-needed quiet time to reconnect.
She wants to be completely independent…but there’s probably always going to be a part of her that still wants to feel like your child again. Brushing her hair is one of those sweet gestures of love that let her know you are still there to take care of her, without saying a word.
Ask Her Opinion
How often throughout your daughter’s young life have you offered your advice? Your opinions? Your lectures?
After all, you are more experienced, and that’s what parents are for.
But at a certain age, you may find that adult opinions no longer hold as much weight with your daughter as they used to. She no longer thinks that her parents are the ultimate authority on everything. She has reached an age where she needs to learn things for herself.
"I Love My Daughter"
Instead of giving your opinion on an issue, how about asking for hers? When you show that you care about her thoughts, you convey the message that she is intelligent and capable. You can be proud to tell yourself and others, "I love my daughter and value her opinions".
And once you do ask for her opinion, this next one is just as important.
Listen To Her With Love
Children listen to adults talk all the time-they'll hear all the times you say, "I love my daughter", even if you think she can't hear you. They listen to parental lectures on every topic ranging from grades to good manners to Internet safety. They have to listen all day to teachers at school, too. But it’s rare that an adult takes the time to listen to what they have to say.
How Does My Daughter Want To Receive Love? Knowing Will Help
Your daughter needs to know that her thoughts and feelings matter, that they are worthy of expression. By listening to what she says, you show that you value her voice. This act of love helps her feel more confident to express herself in other settings throughout her life.
So try raising the topic of an issue that’s important in your lives right now. It could be a controversial law that affects people you know. Or it could be a social problem affecting your community. Your daughter may surprise you with the depth and creativity she brings to the issue.
Keep A Mother/Daughter Journal Together
As she gets older, communication may become increasingly awkward and difficult…and yet, it’s more important than ever to keep those lines of lovely communication open between the two of you. Your daughter will have many questions as she navigates the challenges of growing up, and she needs to know that she has your unconditional love. A shared journal is an excellent way to keep that love communication going. It gives you a place to voice concerns, questions, love, and emotions which may be difficult to say out loud.
You could try writing brief notes or letters to each other every day. You could also try responding to specific prompts, such as asking her to write about her favorite teacher or the person she admires most.
Give Her Compliments
OK, who doesn’t love getting compliments?
And it’s even better when the compliments come from someone who loves you or knows you very well-your child will say, "my mom loves me".
Though she may appear to brush off your compliments, deep inside she treasures them. Your positive regard means a lot to her and is part of the foundation of the confidence that she’s trying to build. Frequent compliments, in addition to hearing, "I love my daughter", will go a long way.
Make your compliments as specific as possible. For example, instead of telling her, “You’re such a nice girl,” tell her you to appreciate her kindness in offering to help your elderly neighbor bring her groceries in from the car. As much as possible, aim your compliments at character attributes and efforts made, rather than her appearance or accomplishments. It’s important for her to understand that her value is intrinsic and comes from within.
"I Love My Daughter"
Give Her Flowers
You don’t have to go out and spend money at a florist shop. A pretty bouquet of daisies or some other wildflower will be enough to show your daughter how special she is to you. And don’t feel you have to confine it to Valentine’s Day either; flowers are a sweet and thoughtful gift if she’s just accomplished something, like an award or a performance, or for her birthday, or any time when you just happen to feel like it. If you do decide to spring for a bouquet from the florist, consider some cheerful sunflowers, to represent warmth and loyalty, or anything else in her favorite color.
Tuck Her In At Night
Don’t stop tucking your daughter in at night just because you think she’s too old. Taking time for this bedtime ritual shows that she is still important to you.
As she gets older, you will find that nighttime is when a teenager’s heart seems to open up magically. This is the time when she wants to talk, to share her thoughts, to get things off her chest.
If you continue tucking your daughter in at night, you will get to experience many special and close moments with her that you’ll always cherish. Besides, she’ll get the message that no matter how tired you are, you’ll always make time to bond with her.
Apologize When You’re Wrong
Apologizing does not come easily, especially when we have to apologize to our children. Somehow, we can feel that this act makes us appear weak, or less worthy of respect. But despite these feelings, an apology is truly an act of strength and love.
How do you feel when someone apologizes to you for a wrong behavior? Usually, you respect someone more for apologizing. It also shows that the person cares enough about the relationship and loves you enough to make an effort to repair it.
Your daughter feels the same way. Show her that even adults make mistakes, but you can acknowledge that you messed up. This lets her know that you love her even when she messes up. Besides improving the relationship between the two of you, it gives your daughter a powerful example of how to treat others.
Tell Her You’re Proud Of Her
You probably assume that she already knows it, but you’d be surprised how many parents go through an entire childhood without ever saying these words to their children. And your daughter needs to hear it!
So when she does something well, do not miss the opportunity to say those four simple words: “I’m proud of you.” It could be for something public, like hitting the home run at the school softball game. Or something that others might not see, like supporting a friend who is going through a hard time. These are all perfect moments to express your pride. She might not show how much it matters, but it means the world to her.
As she grows older and achieves more self-confidence, your expressions of pride will help her develop a strong self-image.
Tell Her You Love Her
This one might seem obvious…but when was the last time you told your daughter you loved her?
It’s true that actions mean more than words. Still, hearing the words “I love you” can leave a powerful effect on her heart, especially when paired with loving actions, such as the ones listed here.
So tell your daughter you love her. Tell her you love her in the morning when you drop her off at school. Tell her when she leaves to go out with her friends. Tell her at night before the family goes to sleep.
Because love means everything.
If you’re still having difficulty expressing your love to your daughter, don’t be afraid to seek out the help of a trained therapist. Our online therapists and counselors at BetterHelp are available to guide you to a stronger relationship.
Be a friend and nonjudgmental one
Having an open-minded demeanor when your daughter approaches you with situations, things that have happened to her or things she has done can help tremendously in your relationship. By doing this, she will feel more comfortable to open up to you about what’s going on in her life.
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