Should You Believe In Love?

As humans, we tend to be deeply wired for connection and wholeheartedly believe in love. It may be ingrained in us to desire relationships with other people to feel personally seen, heard, and understood. However, maybe you feel as though you are no longer sure what to believe about love and romance, especially if you’ve recently been through heartbreak. This new feeling can be normal, as love is often risky, and opening your heart to connection typically requires accepting the possibility that we could be rejected or hurt at any point. 

Throughout this article, we will explore ways that romantic love may be good and enhance your life, including feelings of happiness, emotional support, and decreased loneliness. Even if you find that you are not currently in a place where you feel ready to pursue love, these ideas may spur further thoughts and reflection about what to expect from love. Working with a licensed therapist can help you dive into your thinking patterns and emotions regarding love and address any difficulties you may be encountering.

Experiencing life with someone special may increase happiness

Perhaps the best reason to believe in love may be that experiencing life with the right other half can make life more enjoyable. This is not to say that you cannot enjoy life on your own. However, finding someone with whom you can cherish special moments together can bring joy and increase overall life satisfaction.

Having a significant other half can elevate feelings of excitement and positivity about your deal with life. You may feel increasingly open to new possibilities and all that life has to offer. Going through your life with a partner can make you feel like you are experiencing things for the first time all over again—like each moment that has existed is special. Even going to your favorite coffee shop or watching a movie can feel incredibly special as you create new memories with someone that you honestly care about.

While romantic love can bring these feelings of contentment and excitement, it can also be important to acknowledge that finding a romantic partner is not always a magical solution to all life's problems. Popular media often perpetuates the message that if only an individual finds love, they will be released from all their uncomfortable emotions and insecurities. 

While love and romance can be positive additions to one's life, many people soon realize that the presence of someone else doesn’t necessarily solve the difficulties they are facing. Finding a partner will likely not eliminate symptoms of anxiety or depression or remove all feelings of self-doubt or low self-esteem. If you are experiencing concerns regarding your mental health that impact your daily functioning, consider speaking to your doctor or a mental health professional who can help you determine a plan for addressing these concerns.

A strong relationship can provide support

Knowing that we have someone “in our corner” through the challenges of life can make a significant difference. Supportive relationships can be essential to our mental health and well-being. A significant other can serve as part of our support system, potentially giving us belief when we’re going through a challenging time. Whether they are simply there to listen or give feedback, it can be helpful to turn to a partner to process some of the difficult emotions or situations that can exist in daily life. Even the physical presence of someone else there with you can remind you that you are not alone, and not to be afraid when you fall down in someway.

However, it can be crucial to note that individuals should not rely solely on their partners to meet their emotional needs. No matter how close your relationship with your significant other is, it is generally healthy to have numerous avenues of support, whether from friends, parents, a support group, or a mental health professional. A significant other can be the first half of a support system, but they normally cannot be everything. They also may not replace the role of a licensed mental health professional. If you are living with a mental health disorder, it can be imperative to reach out for professional support. Placing expectations solely on a partner to help us cope with depression, anxiety, or difficult emotions can harm the relationship in many ways.

Close relationships can reduce loneliness

Many individuals can feel lonely due to a lack of meaningful connections in their lives. Research has revealed that loneliness can have many adverse effects on physical and mental health, potentially leading to depression, poor sleep quality, and impaired immunity. Having a romantic partner with whom to spend time and in whom to confide may decrease an individual's feelings of loneliness.

At the same time, it can be essential to acknowledge that finding romantic love may not make all feelings of loneliness automatically subside. Some people may continue to feel lonely, even when surrounded by other people. This can be attributed to perceiving that you must hide parts of yourself or that you cannot fully be seen by others. That may be why it can be important to have an emotionally intimate relationship that allows us to be our full selves without judgment.

What to do when you don’t believe

Sometimes, people stop believing in love completely and prefer to shut down the possibility that true love could enter their lives again. This can happen for many different reasons. If this is the situation in which you find yourself, then you should know that there are things that you can do. Even those who have been in abusive relationships* are often able to learn to love again over time.

You may find that you need to take the time and space to process past relationship trauma that may be impacting your ability to move forward. This may involve writing in a journal, processing these events independently, or working through them with someone in your support system. You might consider talking with a mental health professional about your experiences as well. A licensed therapist can help you explore how these past experiences may have shaped certain beliefs about yourself and love in general. Therapy can be a valuable space for becoming more aware of your thought and behavior patterns and developing tools for healthy relationships.

It can be perfectly okay if you do not think you are ready to pursue romantic love or are not currently in the right place in your life to focus on it. In the meantime, you might focus on other relationships and avenues that provide support and intimacy. Maybe this looks like investing in your friendships or family relationships or getting more involved in a community that has common values and beliefs. You may also focus on cultivating more self-love during this time. Romantic love may not be the only avenue for an individual to gain a deep sense of connection and meaning.

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

Seeking further support

If you are experiencing a sense of apprehension around opening yourself up to love, you may find it beneficial to speak with a licensed therapist. They can assist you in exploring how your past may be affecting your current outlook on love and potentially interfering with moving toward what you desire for your life. Addressing these concerns may position you to be ready and open for true love once again.

There can be many convenient ways to seek out therapy, including online therapy. A study published in the peer-reviewed research Journal of Clinical Psychology examined information from over 100 different online counseling trials. This study found that overall attitudes between both counselors and participants were normally as positive as with in-person counseling. 

Additionally, online therapy can be one of the most popular and cost-effective methods for getting help. It usually allows you to talk to a therapist online in several different ways, such as online chat, phone call, or video call.