Are There Steps On How To Find A Husband?

By Nicola Kirkpatrick

Updated June 11, 2019

Reviewer Jeffrey Craven , MA, LMHC, LPCC, LLC

It's in the back of every girl's mind. Though they deny that they want it, every girl dreams of finding a husband, or at least a lifelong companion. However, finding a husband may prove to be challenging for those who are usually focused on academics or careers, sometimes even on a pre-started family. Amongst all of this stress, how can anyone find a husband?

Are there steps involved? Could it be as simple as transitioning from point A to point B? Yes and no. There certainly can be steps, but the order in which these steps are taken and the context of each of these steps can vary with each person and with each relationship.


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How To Find A Husband

When looking for a husband, it is important to express what you are looking for in a man and what you expect out of a marriage, but it should be done in a very casual way. For example, should the conversation phase into a similar topic, you can briefly discuss your plans. This can be done at any time during the beginning of the relationship, even if you are hanging out with a boy as friends.

Candice Z. Walters stresses in her article, "Finding a Husband", that when women present clear and strong expectations of their relationships with men, their relationships are more stable and last longer because men know where the relationship is heading and how to get there.

Sometimes men get the wrong impression from women if they are friends with them too long or have had premarital sex with them too early in the relationship. It may seem stereotypical, but if men have sex too early in the relationship, they may not find much reason to stick around in the relationship. By waiting, you are giving men something to look forward to, and you are allowing them to get comfortable with you outside of the bedroom. This is how you will develop a companion rather than a one-night stand or a dead-end relationship.

However, it's important to note that when you're in a relationship, doing what feels natural is important. Your instincts are there for a reason; trust them! Although some men may lose interest after sleeping with women, a man who is serious about you will not disappear after you've been intimate with one another. Intimacy is a natural, healthy part of any loving, romantic relationships. Trust your gut, and don't worry too much!


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Be Yourself!

One of the most important things women forget in their search for a husband is to be themselves simply. Unfortunately, society has conditioned women to believe that they need to change or adapt themselves to appeal to men or be seen as desirable.

There are some really important things that women need to hear and understand. First and foremost, when you get married and have a husband, you want a relationship which is going to last. This means that you shouldn't try to be something you're not or modify your habits, thoughts, or beliefs to attract a man. The truth of the matter is this: there are many men out there. Men are very different and diverse. One man's trash is another man's treasure. What is perfect for one man may be seen as absolutely repulsive to the other.

This is why it's so very critical for women to be themselves and not get too wrapped up in the quest to find a husband. Believe it or not, there is someone out there who is looking for someone just like you. You run the very high risk of missing out on that special someone if you become too preoccupied with changing key parts of who you are for the sake of gaining the attention or favor of a man. When seeking a husband, loving yourself, being confident in yourself, and BEING yourself are paramount. Otherwise, you're just doing yourself a disservice.


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Make Sure You're Looking For The Right Reason

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a husband or wanting a happy marriage. These can be amazing, healthy parts of life. However, when striving to find a husband, you should be sure that you're looking for the right reasons. Many people fail to realize how impactful reasons are and how greatly they can impact our outcomes.

If you're looking for a husband because you feel ready for marriage or would like to start a family, then more power to you. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this, and with time and patience, you're very likely to find happiness. However, if you're looking for a husband because you feel sad, lonely, or eager for a replacement, then that can be problematic for a series of reasons.

First of all, when you're seeking a husband for the wrong reasons, you're considerably likely to sacrifice your standards. There are many people out there who are desperate and will settle for anything or anyone just for the sake of not being single or having the ability to say they're married. This is a very dangerous emotional state to be in and, moreover, this desperation can serve as a beacon for toxic relationships or men who do not have the best of intentions.

Don't Forget To Live Life In The Meantime

For as much it may seem like a cliche, sometimes, the best things in life come when we're not looking for them; this can often apply to find a husband. If you're truly eager to find that special someone, then you should still have your own life and have various things going for yourself. You may wind up finding your husband at a class, recreational group, or another place which you regularly enjoy attending.

Living life as you search for a husband can also keep you from getting dejected if your search takes longer than you may have expected. Sometimes, it can take months, years, or even decades before you find the right husband for you. Not having your entire world revolve around finding a husband can ensure that you remain a happy, healthy, and well-functioning individual.

Lastly, when finding a husband, it is best to find someone that you can do anything with, and that includes menial tasks. If you are with a man who does not like to do the same things as you, is not cooperative, or is not okay with simply coming over to your house to just chill, he may not be husband material. Remember that you want to live with this man forever, so it is best to know if you can truly do anything with him.

Trouble Finding A Companion?

Another tip in finding a husband is to ask for help and advice. Your friends might know someone who likes you or is just your type and may introduce you to a friend or someone they know. However, if you find that your problems in searching for a husband are more complex, it may be beneficial to speak with a therapist at BetterHelp.


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