Detoxifying Masculinity: Exploring Gender And Men’s Mental Health

Gender roles shaping masculinity and “maleness” have historically been associated with societal expectations about how boys and men should behave. Notions of gender roles and expression are often deeply rooted in human behavior due to cultural paradigms, and many men learn about gender norms and what is considered “masculine” from experiences in their everyday lives during childhood and adolescence. Some gender norms pushed by models of toxic masculinity can be harmful to mental health, relationships, and society as a whole. This article discusses what toxic masculinity is, what it isn’t, and how it can affect mental health. It also explores ways to support boys and men in cultivating a healthy sense of self and establishing harmonious relationships. 

What is toxic masculinity? 

Toxic masculinity generally refers to the aspects of traditional masculinity that are self- and socially destructive. These harmful aspects of masculinity may include attitudes of misogyny, homophobia, and aggression.

Common traits and behaviors associated with toxic masculinity

Toxic notions of masculinity often dictate that men and boys must suppress their emotions (except for anger in many cases), strive for dominance, devalue anything seen as “feminine,” and embrace entitlement and superiority. Gender norms for men and boys may also involve unrealistic expectations around self-sufficiency, competitiveness, and achievement, setting a standard that can create significant stress and pressure and compromise mental health and well-being.

Other problematic attitudes and beliefs that may be associated with toxic masculinity may include: 

• Believing that men must toughen up or suck it up when experiencing physical or emotional pain
• Ignoring physical pain and pushing oneself to work or exercise
• Suppressing mental health challenges like anxiety, depression, or anxiety
• Being rigidly independent
• Engaging in dangerous sports or risky behavior
• Avoiding asking for help
• Being expected to exert dominance

How toxic masculinity differs from healthy masculinity

Some people argue that toxic masculinity doesn’t exist or is an attack on all masculinity. The term “toxic masculinity” is not about criticizing all things masculine, but about recognizing harmful notions of masculinity.

How does toxic masculinity differ from healthy masculinity? Healthy masculinity is generally understood as a more flexible approach to gender expression that allows men to be emotionally open, empathetic, and to show mutual respect. Rather than rejecting strength, healthy masculinity may redefine it, focusing on self-awareness and accountability. The distinction between the two tends to focus on whether ideas about masculinity support or limit emotional expression.

The role of socialization and attitudes toward gender

Influences on gender identity and expression typically begin early. However, for men and boys, the years between ages 10 and 14 seem to be critical for shaping gender-related attitudes. Scientists posit that this is partially due to changes experienced during the onset of puberty. 

During this time, adolescents and young men may be more likely to endorse traits of toxic masculinity, such as physical toughness, emotional repression, and heterosexual prowess. Several sources, sometimes referred to as agencies of socialization, can potentially contribute to reinforcing harmful gender norms in young people. These agencies of socialization might include the following:

• Family: Parents, siblings, and family dynamics usually play a significant role in shaping a child's early understanding of gender. For example, parents may encourage certain toys or activities for boys versus girls, influencing their development. 
• Schools: Educational institutions can reinforce gender stereotypes through teacher biases, curriculum content, and social dynamics within the classroom. 
• Peer groups: Interactions with friends and peers frequently contribute to internalized gender norms and expectations, especially during adolescence. 
• Media: TV, movies, and advertising can depict gender roles in ways that either reinforce or challenge stereotypes, influencing children's and adults' beliefs about gender. 

We take a closer look at some of these factors below.

Media, peer groups, and cultural expectations

Culture includes shared beliefs, values, norms, and practices passed down through generations. It can shape our understanding of what it means to be male or female, and these definitions often become deeply ingrained in social systems, like family, education, media, religion, and politics.

Studies consistently show that popular media, in all its forms, has an expansive influence on how we think about and express gender and, in turn, perpetuates toxic masculinity. The media often portrays men in stereotypical ways, such as being dominant, stoic, and unwilling to express emotions. Additionally, male characters are often shown engaging in risky behaviors and violence, and are less likely to have onscreen parents. It can also be important to note that many creators in the media, visual arts, and literature portray women from a masculine point of view that often objectifies them and reinforces harmful gender norms.  

Detoxifying masculinity: What it means and why it matters

The idea of detoxifying masculinity can be misunderstood. This practice is not about changing what it means to be a man; rather, it’s about changing harmful patterns that may negatively impact various aspects of men’s lives and lead to inner turmoil.

Redefining strength, vulnerability, and emotional expression

While many of the qualities commonly associated with men are positive (bravery, self-reliance, and confidence, for example), men's and boys' mental health can suffer when such qualities come with unrealistic expectations. For instance, while self-reliance can be beneficial, it may also lead to isolation when men need help but are afraid to reach out for it for fear of appearing "weak." 

One might convey an air of confidence on the surface while struggling with serious self-esteem challenges like impostor syndrome underneath. Raising awareness about the potential mental and physical health impacts of repressing emotions could be a key step in revising societal expectations of male stoicism, helping men and boys learn to identify and process their emotions healthily. 

Becoming better men through self-awareness and growth

Self-awareness can be a crucial part of detoxifying masculinity and may involve asking men to be honest with themselves about what they need and how their beliefs are truly serving them. It is important to understand that these changes can take time and can be challenging without support. Working with a therapist can help men notice concerning patterns, learn to take accountability, and take steps toward personal growth.

How detoxifying masculinity improves relationships and communities

Shifting attitudes toward masculinity can benefit men and boys as well as the people around them, including their personal relationships and their communities. 

Communication, empathy, and healthier conversations

Untoxifying masculinity can bring a shift to how men communicate, potentially moving toward empathy and compassion and prioritizing listening and holding space for others rather than trying to dominate a conversation or win an argument.

Positive impacts on families

Fatherhood and mentorship can significantly shape attitudes toward masculinity for boys and men. Fathers who embrace emotional expressiveness and nurturing tend to have closer relationships with their children, while those adhering to traditional norms may be less involved and nurturing. Like father figures, mentors can also shape a young man's understanding of masculinity. They can provide opportunities for young men to explore, discuss, and challenge traditional gender roles, promoting more positive and inclusive understandings of manhood.

Supporting men and boys’ mental health  

After 40 years of research, the American Psychological Association (APA) established guidelines in 2018 for recognizing and supporting issues affecting boys and men associated with traditional constructs of masculinity. Their research showed that many aspects of conventional masculinity were psychologically detrimental, and socializing boys to suppress their emotions frequently led to unhealthy physical and psychological outcomes. According to these guidelines, therapists are trained to practice with sensitivity toward gender role strain, defined as "a psychological situation in which gender role demands have negative consequences in the individual or others.” 

Despite the potentially fatal consequences, mental health stigma is still common among boys and men. However, with the rise in popularity of internet-delivered treatment, men have an outlet through which they can overcome such barriers. In online therapy, men can talk to a therapist from the comfort of their homes, which might offer a sense of discretion that some may not experience when meeting with a therapist in an office setting. The accessibility and convenience of virtual therapy offered on platforms like BetterHelp may also encourage help-seeking behavior by making it easier for men to find a gender-sensitive therapist. 

Research supports the efficacy of online therapy in reducing mental health stigma and increasing treatment adherence. A 2021 analysis revealed that some individuals participating in online treatment experienced greater satisfaction with the therapeutic relationship, potentially due to the “online disinhibition effect,” a theory positing that individuals may feel more comfortable sharing their emotions in a virtual space. A better connection with one’s therapist often leads to better treatment adherence.