Bereavement Counselling UK: Navigate Grief With Mental Health Care

Grief is a hand that life will deal to everyone at some point. Specifically, the loss of a loved one can be a difficult experience, often leading to complex emotions and a period of bereavement that can be hard to navigate. Mental health support can help people who are grieving express their emotions, work through the stages of grief, and learn to face day-to-day life without their loved one. Grief counselling is one such form of support—a type of therapy focused on providing bereaved people the tools to process grief, cope with difficult feelings, and work toward improving wellbeing. Below, we’ll discuss how the stages of grief happen, the importance of bereavement support, and options for grief counselling in the United Kingdom. 

Understanding grief

According to the American Psychological Association (APA, grief refers to “the anguish experienced after significant loss, usually the death of a beloved person.” Grief is a universal experience that can affect anybody and is often deeply challenging to face. Bereavement can lead to difficult-to-process emotions like regret, anger, sadness, guilt, and longing. It is also associated with mental and physical health concerns and significant life challenges. While it can be possible to heal from past grief and eventually work toward a healthy and balanced future, it often requires reaching out for support from loved ones and a mental health professional.

Exploring the stages of grief

Experts have developed several different frameworks to help us interpret and understand the grieving process. One of the most widely cited frameworks is the Kübler-Ross model, which involves five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 

• Denial: To avoid confronting their loss, people often ignore or dispute the evidence of the occurrence. 
• Anger: Bereaved individuals may express anger toward themselves, the perceived cause of the loss, or even their loved one. 
• Bargaining: It is common for people to wonder what they could have done differently or to appeal to a higher power. 
• Depression: Hopelessness and sadness are common responses to death. 
• Acceptance: Acknowledging and accepting the loss of a loved one often occurs as the last stage of grief.

This framework has been expanded and altered by later models, but it remains a helpful guide for how people go through the grieving process. 

Keep in mind, however, that bereavement can affect people differently, so the stages of grief do not necessarily proceed sequentially. For example, bereaved individuals may experience anger first, followed by depression, then acceptance. Some stages may be repeated, and some people may not experience certain stages at all. There is no right or wrong way to grieve a loved one, and grief models are not intended to be prescriptive. Instead, there are ways to conceptualize some of the forms that grief can take so people may better understand and feel validated in their experiences.

The mental health effects of grief

Grief in and of itself is a normal emotional response to loss. That said, people respond to loss in varying ways, so there is the potential for many mental health challenges to arise out of grief. For example, research shows that around 7% to 10% of bereaved adults will experience prolonged grief disorder, while 5% to 10% of bereaved children will develop a psychiatric disorder related to grief. 

Mental health conditions related to grief

Prolonged grief disorder, also called complicated grief, is a mental health condition marked by persistent feelings of sadness and emptiness following a loss. Complicated grief can develop more readily in people who have suddenly lost someone or whose loved ones died under traumatic circumstances. Grief can also lead to the development of other mental illnesses, like depressive disorders, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, and substance use disorder. 

The mental health effects of grief can also be connected to several physical challenges, including chronic pain, sleep disruptions, fatigue, and gastrointestinal distress. These serious impacts of grief highlight the need for effective support during times of loss. 

Financial and practical challenges after a loss

In addition to the great emotional difficulties that can affect a person after a loss, certain things can also create financial and practical challenges, which may add to the distress of the experience. Funeral costs and arrangements, for example, can feel overwhelming and stressful in the wake of the death of a loved one. Handling the will, going through the loved one’s belongings, taking time off work, and navigating other logistical challenges, too, could enable a person to avoid and bottle up their grief. Or, the stress of such practicalities could make grief-related feelings even more acute and difficult to manage. Factors like these can make seeking support (or having a loved one reach out for support on your behalf) even more important.

The importance of support during loss

Emotional support

Therapists who provide grief counselling understand the emotional challenges that are connected to the grieving process. Grief support counselling can be a safe space for participants to work through challenging feelings and express themselves in various ways. The counsellor can empathize with their clients, help them identify and label their emotions, provide validation, and help them work toward balance and wellbeing.  

The utilization of social support

A mental health professional can be a key addition to a bereaved individual’s support network. Additionally, grief therapists can help people better utilize their existing support systems. For example, they may help clients learn how to communicate their needs to friends, family members, and acquaintances, or they might help participants recognize the people who can best provide support. They could also help the client set boundaries with others according to their needs and capacity during the grieving process.

Normalizing grief support

Grief can be seen as a normal response to the loss of a family member, friend, or other loved one. For many professionals, one goal of grief support is to ensure participants understand that their feelings are normal and not, in themselves, a sign of a psychological disorder. Normalizing the grieving process can help bereaved individuals avoid being affected by the stigma that many grieving people have to deal with. 

Support for different types of loss

It can be helpful to remember that there are many different types of loss and that grief can affect anyone. While people often think of grief as happening mainly to someone whose grandparent, friend, or dad died, for example, these are far from the only scenarios that can cause grief. Pregnancy loss or the loss of a baby, the loss of a pet, a breakup or divorce from a partner, estrangement from a friend or parent, or losing one’s home are situations that can also trigger grief. This type of emotional experience can affect a young person and an older person alike, regardless of gender, culture, past experiences, or any other factor. That said, young people and older people alike can also work toward healing by reaching out for emotional support. Grief counseling is for anyone and everyone.

A primary purpose of grief counselling is to give the bereaved individual an opportunity to discuss their feelings and thoughts regarding the loss of their loved one. A therapist may prompt the client to talk about the loss they experienced and how it is impacting their life. The individual might also be asked about any mental health conditions that have been caused or exacerbated by the loss. This can help the therapist determine where the client is in the grieving process and how best to proceed with support and treatment. 

Using this information, the counsellor (along with the bereaved individual) can develop care objectives. Normally, the overarching goal of grief therapy is to help the individual accept their loss and start to work toward improved well-being. Acceptance often involves the ability to move forward in life while recognizing the memory of their loved one. To achieve this objective, several smaller goals may be set. For example, one goal may be for a participant to overcome the desire to bring their friend or family member back.

Grief therapy can look different depending on an individual’s goals and specific mental health concerns. For example, someone struggling to deal with the death of a loved one—and, subsequently, experiencing depression—may undergo cognitive behavioral therapy. Using this form of psychotherapy, a grief counsellor can help the individual identify and replace unhelpful thoughts that may be underlying depressive symptoms (e.g., that their loved one’s death was their fault).

A grief counsellor can also help participants develop positive coping techniques for their specific concerns. For example, a therapist may teach an individual with anxiety how to journal about their thoughts and feelings, utilize mindfulness meditation, and practice deep breathing exercises. 

Finding bereavement counselling: UK options

Bereaved people who are seeking grief therapy in the United Kingdom have several options they can pursue. From the National Health Service (NHS) to online therapy to charities and similar organisations, some of the key options where you, a partner, or another loved one can find support are outlined below.

Working with professionals in individual practice

Grief counselors may work in clinics, hospitals, or their own practices. You can find professionals who offer bereavement counselling through your medical insurance provider. You may also be able to utilize your employee assistance programme if one is available through your employer. 

Using the NHS to find bereavement counselling (UK)

You can participate in free counselling sessions by seeking therapy through the National Health Service (NHS). To pursue this option, ask your general practitioner for a referral or find a grief counselor through the NHS’s therapy service. 

Connecting with healthcare professionals online

For young people or older people alike who want to work through the stages of grief without leaving home, online therapy platforms can be a convenient option for support. Online grief support allows participants to connect with a trained mental health professional without commuting to an office, sitting in a waiting room, or scheduling sessions at potentially inconvenient times. Online therapy sessions for grief or related challenges can take place via phone, video, or live chat from anywhere you have internet and a personal device.

Reaching out to charities and organizations for extra support

Another option to consider is reaching out to a registered charity that specializes in grief support. These organisations are often volunteer-based and may either provide temporary, direct support and tips or connect you to other resources—often for free or at a low cost. You can learn more about such services if you visit their website. Some options in the UK include:

• Good Grief
• National Bereavement Alliance
• Cruse Bereavement Support
• Sue Ryder
• At A Loss
• The Loss Foundation
• The Compassionate Friends
• Widowed And Young

If you need emotional support right away, you can also call a helpline. Some examples include Samaritans (for general mental health), Sands (for those facing the loss of a baby), and Child Death Helpline (for those who have lost a child).

Joining a support group

Connecting with people who have experienced similar forms of loss can be helpful. Support group members may be able to empathize with you, share their coping strategies, or simply listen to your story and concerns. Depending on your preferences, you can join a local, in-person grief support group or an online community. 

Exploring hospice care services

Many hospice facilities provide grief counselling to people whose family members or friends are undergoing end-of-life care. Consider contacting the hospice staff where your loved one is receiving care to find out whether they offer grief support services. You may also be able to use the helplines, informational resources, and other grief-related tools that are available through many hospice care facilities.

Pursuing grief support through online therapy

If you’d like guidance and emotional support for your well-being during the grieving process or other challenging times, consider online therapy. Through online sessions, a mental health professional can help you process your feelings and develop positive coping strategies as you take steps toward healing. 

The benefits of online therapy for grief support

With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, anybody can participate in grief counselling and get direct emotional support through video call, voice call, or online chat. Clients also have the opportunity to message their therapist outside of sessions, allowing them to ask questions about the grieving process or clarify points made during therapy. 

Getting started with online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp is as easy as filling out the intake questionnaire, which will allow you to get matched with a professional according to your needs and preferences. Once matched, you can schedule your first virtual session.

The efficacy of working with healthcare professionals online

Research suggests that online therapy is an effective method of providing grief counselling to bereaved individuals. In a meta-analysis that involved seven studies on the efficacy of online grief therapy, researchers found that such interventions typically led to significant reductions in symptoms of grief, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. The analysis also mentioned the ability of online platforms to overcome common obstacles to treatment, such as stigma, scheduling constraints, and financial limitations.