Growing Pains: Exploring The Social Changes In Adolescence

Children may experience growing pains as they transition from childhood to adolescence. Teenagers typically undergo many rapid physical, cognitive, emotional, and social changes during this stage. Socially, teens tend to shift their focus and priorities, expand their social circle, experiment with their style, and develop an evolving interest in romantic relationships, among other changes. If you’re not sure how to support your child during this phase of life, consider speaking with a licensed therapist in person or online.

What is adolescence, and how does it affect children?

Adolescence can be defined as a crucial period of rapid physical, cognitive, emotional, and social change. The brain development that occurs during this time can be vital and often significantly impacts emotions and behaviors into adulthood. 

Mental health experts suggest that adolescence typically begins around age 10 and extends to age 18. Others argue that it may continue into the mid-to-late 20s when the prefrontal cortex (associated with planning, making good decisions, and prioritizing) finishes maturing. 

Adolescence phases

Below are the three phases of adolescence, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Early adolescence: Ages 10 to 13 (grades 5-9)

During early adolescence, your child may experience growth spurts and bodily changes, such as growing body hair and developing secondary sex characteristics. Most adolescents begin puberty during this stage. Teens might exhibit concrete, black-and-white thinking and often experience a growing desire for own space. They may also begin expanding their social circle and peer relationships.  

Middle adolescence: Ages 14 to 17 (grades 9-12)

In middle adolescence, the physical changes of puberty and growth spurts usually continue. Teens may begin to develop an interest in romantic relationships while exploring their sexual identities. A desire for independence may lead your child to argue more and push boundaries. Brain development is normally still occurring. While they are maturing, you may see signs of their evolution through their decision-making skills, procrastination, and planning, among other facets of their cognitive development.

Late adolescence: Ages 18 to adulthood (post-high school)

Your child’s physical development is generally complete by this stage, and their body has likely reached its adult height. They may have much stronger impulse control, as well as the ability to compare the risks versus rewards in any given situation. Friendships and romantic relationships could become more stable, and those in late adolescence often have a strong sense of their individuality and values. By this point in their development, they may have progressed from a child’s decision-making skills to an adult’s, with the ability to balance their immediate desires against the “big picture.”

What social changes do teenagers experience?

Your teenager may experience many social developments as they progress through adolescence. During this time, your child may begin establishing their identity and independence while building the social skills to interact with others. You can expect your teen to encounter many obstacles. They may also begin to adjust their personality, social circle, and overall outlook on the world. 

Shifting priorities and focus

One of the primary social changes of adolescence may be the shift in focus and priority, moving away from family and toward their friends and chosen social contacts. You will likely notice this change beginning in middle school. Adolescents may spend most of their free time with friends since they often feel supported and understood by their peer group. 

Expanding social circle

Socializing may be an expanding concept during adolescence. Your teenager may begin expanding their social circle and connecting with new people of varying ages, backgrounds, and world views. 

Emulating friends

You can also expect your adolescent to emulate their friends. You may notice that your child exhibits new attitudes, language, and behaviors they’ve seen in their peer group. 

Gravitating toward similar people

Teenagers may turn to their friends for emotional support, guidance, and companionship. Studies show that similarities in personality and interests can lead to more functional friendships with fewer conflicts.

Growing desire to be socially accepted

Social acceptance may be a central theme of adolescence. Your child may be trying to understand their place in the world, and they might make poor choices inspired by a desire to be accepted by their peer groups. They may be influenced by peer pressure to make bad decisions, thinking they will impress their friends. 

Outgrowing friendships and making new friends

While it can be a painful learning experience, teens may find that not every friendship is meant to last a lifetime. One study suggests that only 1% of seventh-grade friendships may persist into 12th grade. Your teenager may need support as they outgrow friendships, encounter and overcome relationship obstacles, and learn how to be a good friend.

Developing stronger, more complex friendships

Your teenager’s friendships may become more complex as they experience adolescent rites of passage and create foundational memories together. Shared support, experiences, and growth can lead to strong, multi-layered social connections and friendships. 

Growing capacity to recognize, understand, and communicate their feelings

Emotional development usually continues through every stage of adolescence. Throughout the process, your teen may learn to identify their emotions, comprehend how those feelings affect their moods and behaviors, and express how they feel and what they need.

Learning to empathize with others

Through adolescence, your child may develop an understanding of other people’s feelings. They might also learn to empathize with others’ experiences and offer comfort and support to their friends and family. 

Experimenting with their style

Your child may pass through many phases as they work to discover who they are and what image of themselves they want to present to the world. They may go through numerous styles of dress and appearance, which can be a healthy way to express themselves. 

Evolving interest in romantic partners and relationships

Teenagers may develop an interest in sexual relationships and romantic connections during adolescence. It can be crucial to talk to your children about consent, bodily autonomy, sexual protection, and any other information they need to safeguard their physical and emotional health within intimate relationships. 

Forming connections with adult mentors

You may find that your teenager connects with a favorite teacher or another adult who is not part of your family. Seeking out mentors can be a normal, healthy part of adolescence. Still, it may be necessary to ensure that your child understands the boundaries of appropriate conduct with adults. Let them know they can come to you if they find themselves in a situation where they feel uncomfortable. 

Tips to help parents support adolescent development

• Give them age-appropriate responsibilities and consequences.
• Clearly define parent-child roles and expectations. 
• Teach and model emotional intelligence, awareness, and literacy. 
• Model healthy conflict resolution, communication, and compromise in your family dynamic. 

How therapy can support parents

Parenting children at any age can be a challenging and confusing experience, but the teenage years may provide some unique obstacles to overcome. The support and guidance of a licensed mental health professional can help you better understand your teen’s development and find healthy ways to engage with them. Therapy can teach you productive methods to relate to and communicate with your child. It might also assist you in establishing clear parent-child roles, boundaries, and consequences. 

Benefits of online therapy

When you’re in the midst of parenting a teen, finding time for therapy can be challenging. Parents who are navigating their child’s adolescence while juggling other responsibilities related to work and family may find online therapy more convenient than in-office therapy. With this form of therapy, you can meet with a licensed mental health professional from the comfort of your home. Internet-based therapy also tends to be more flexible, typically offering appointment slots around the clock. 

Effectiveness of online therapy

Online parenting interventions can be effective, as evidenced by a 2022 study stating, “The Therapist-assisted Online Parenting Strategies intervention improved self-reported parenting behaviours, parental self-efficacy, parent levels of distress, parent-adolescent attachment, and family functioning in parents with adolescents being treated for anxiety and/or depression.” In general, online therapy tends to produce the same client outcomes as in-person therapy.

Takeaway 

Understanding the social and emotional development of your teen can help you provide the support they deserve to thrive. As they shift their focus from family to friendships and evolve as individuals, it can be challenging to know the best ways to relate to and support your child. Working with a licensed therapist through in-person or online therapy sessions can empower you to support your adolescent’s development and maintain a healthy relationship with them as they mature.