The Influence Of Friends In Adolescence: Mental Health And More

Peer relationships and friends in adolescence can be powerful influences. Your teen’s behavior and mental health could be impacted by those in their peer group. While adolescent friendships’ effect on young people shouldn’t be understated, it may be important to note that these friendships are often fleeting. Most fade within a year or two as teens and young adults quickly shift interests, activities, and friend groups, which can be a normal part of adolescent development. Learning the emotional skills to identify their own and others’ feelings, understanding how they influence mood and behavior, and communicating their needs and emotions to friends, family, and romantic partners may be crucial for young people. As a parent, you may wish to consult with a licensed therapist to learn how to best support your child through adolescence, the teen years, and beyond.

How much influence do an adolescent’s friends have?

When children enter adolescence, their social context often changes. During early adolescence, they may spend time with their peers more than ever before. Teenagers may be driven by an overwhelming desire to fit in and be accepted. As their friend groups change and evolve, your adolescent will likely adopt numerous ways of talking, behaving, and thinking from their peer group—with varying results. 

Trying to force your child to be (or not be) friends with a particular child or otherwise exerting your parental power over their social connections can backfire. Instead, consider fostering a healthy sense of identity, teaching them about functional, positive relationships, and then trusting them to make good choices. Positive, supportive peer friendships during adolescence can predict adult mental health. 

The adolescent social brain and peer influence

During adolescence, many changes occur in the brain. One example is the development of the social brain network. This network enables various aspects of social cognition, allowing young people to develop more complex relationships that can provide them with a sense of belonging and have an impact on their social status and self-worth.

In the field of developmental psychology, research suggests that adolescents are particularly vulnerable to peer influence. Social-cognitive factors like heightened conformity and socio-affective sensitivity among adolescents, as well as changes in autonomy and school structure, can contribute to this vulnerability. Evidence suggests that deidentification with parents or caregivers and subsequent individual identity formation can also play a role in susceptibility to peer influence.

Social changes your child may experience during adolescence

As children transition from middle school to high school, they may experience many physical, mental, emotional, and social changes. These changes often influence how they think, act, and feel.

Expanding social circle and emulating friends

Beginning in middle school, you can expect your child's focus and priority to shift away from the family and toward friends and social connections. As their social circle grows and they spend more time with their friends away from home, you can expect their moods and behaviors to fluctuate. 

You might also see echoes of their friends in their language, attitude, and behavior. Teenagers may begin looking to their friends and peers for guidance, inspiration, and support. They may also gravitate toward people with similar interests.

Overwhelming drive for acceptance

Adolescents are usually still discovering their values and who they want to be. Sometimes, they may have ill-advised ideas about what their peer group may see as acceptable or desirable behavior. As a result, they may choose to do something out of character to fit in with their friends. 

Spending less time with family

During adolescence, you can expect your child to show more interest in social contact with people outside the family, expanding their mental, emotional, and social horizons. Teenagers might seek ways to understand and define themselves as separate from their families.

Making and outgrowing friendships

Lifelong friendships may be considered a rare and precious gift. Throughout adolescence, you can expect your child’s friend groups and peers to shift many times. A study conducted by Florida Atlantic University determined that just “one percent of friendships that began in the seventh grade continued to the 12th grade.”

Additional adolescent social changes

You may observe other social changes in your teen, such as:

• Developing stronger and more complex relationships
• Forming connections with mentors, such as teachers and coaches
• Experimenting to discover their style
• Being influenced by culture, media, and friends
• Demonstrating interest in romantic partners

Understanding how friendship can influence your teenager

Parenting adolescents can become somewhat easier when you understand the reasons for their behavior, particularly when their friends influence them. While you may want to believe your child couldn’t be the one to instigate trouble, it might be important to keep in mind that their mistakes may not always be the result of peer pressure. Sometimes, teenagers simply make bad choices, regardless of their friendship networks.

Adopting negative habits

Your child may absorb some of their friends’ habits. If they get close to someone who likes to argue or solve problems with violence, you may notice your child demonstrating aggressive behavior as well. If their friends are permitted to curse and act disrespectfully, your child may begin doing the same things.

Participating in risky behaviors due to influences of friends

Your child may emulate risky behaviors they’re exposed to through their teenage friendships. These could include smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, experimenting with recreational drugs, or engaging in sexual activity, for example. 

If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.

Influencing them toward good or bad grades at school

A teenager’s friends can influence how much effort they put forth and how well they perform in school. If several of their friends routinely skip homework and make no effort to get good grades, your child’s behavior may reflect that. 

Teen friendships can be a positive influence, too

Building up their confidence and self-esteem

As your teenager builds stronger, more complex friendships, you can expect their close friends to become a significant source of emotional support. Good friends can help teens develop their confidence and self-esteem, celebrate their triumphs, and offer support through challenging times. 

Developing individual, social, and cultural views due to friendship influences

While your teenager may be an individual with their own mind, their friends can often influence how they think. For example, an adolescent with passionate friends active in social justice, politics, or volunteer work may want to get more involved as well. 

Friendship quality vs. popularity

While many young people may strive for popularity, a few strong friendships are typically more positive peer relationships than numerous shallow connections. Close friendships can be a protective factor against various physical and mental health concerns. Adolescents may benefit from recognizing that more friends do not always correlate with enhanced friendship quality. When it comes to peer friendships in the teenage years, having a few close friends may be the most beneficial.

Positive peer relationships and mental health outcomes

Positive peer relationships can foster critical social skills and social competence, as well as provide social support. They can also improve mental health outcomes for young people. For example, a 2024 study noted that adolescents with higher reported friend support typically had lower anxiety and depressive symptoms.

Peer victimization, social anxiety, and warning signs

Peer victimization can be defined as “the experience of being targeted by peers' intentional aggressive acts, which can lead to various individual and interpersonal difficulties for victims.” While similar to bullying, peer victimization is not exactly the same because it does not involve a perceived power imbalance. Targets of peer victimization may engage in social withdrawal and take other behavioral measures in an attempt to avoid the situation. Middle and high school students who are targeted may begin to experience social anxiety or struggle with social interactions. Warning signs that your child may be experiencing peer victimization include the following:

• Declining performance at school
• Physical health complaints without a clear cause
• Changes in eating and/or sleeping habits
• Emotional distress
• Self-destructive behavior or behavior that is otherwise out of character

How can you support your child’s adolescent friendships? The role of family and adults in teen friendships

Caring adults in an adolescent’s life can make a significant difference in adolescent development. Parent-child or guardian-child relationships may offer the most notable opportunities to teach important skills.

Consider these tips to support healthy relationships and communication:

• Teach them to stick to their convictions and that good friends will let them say no. 
• Help them choose their friends wisely. Friendships based on shared interests and values tend to be more likely to succeed.
• Emphasize the need for reciprocal care and attention in healthy teenage friendships. Teach them how to be a good friend. 
• Encourage your child to embrace the possibilities of varied friendships and experiences.
• Teach them that honesty and communication are often at the heart of healthy friendships.
• Model compromise, communication, and conflict resolution for your child from an early age, so that working together and talking through problems can become instinctive behaviors. 
• Build up your adolescent’s confidence, encouraging them to be themselves. This may make it less likely that they’ll be manipulated by others. 

When to seek mental health support

If your child’s struggles with friendship or socializing are impacting their daily life, or if you’ve noticed social anxiety or depressive symptoms, it may be helpful for them to seek professional help. Therapy often leads to improved mental health outcomes and can provide a form of social support to young people who may desire a safe space to discuss their thoughts and emotions outside of their family.

Benefits of online therapy

Parenting doesn’t typically come with a convenient guide to help you navigate the challenging situations your child may face as they grow. Still, parents may benefit from speaking with a licensed therapist online through a virtual therapy platform like BetterHelp. Therapy can equip you with valuable parenting, communication, and conflict resolution skills to create a healthy, functional family dynamic. It can also help you teach your children the social skills they need for optimal relationships and mental health outcomes. Busy parents may find the convenience of online therapy appealing. With this form of internet-based therapy, you can attend sessions day or night from the comfort of your home.

Effectiveness of online therapy

Therapists may use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help clients explore the connection between their thoughts and feelings. They can then identify and reshape harmful habits into healthier, more productive patterns. Online and in-person therapy generally produce the same client outcomes, making both valid choices for those seeking professional help.