What To Do When You Worry About Yourself Too Much

Sometimes, you may worry or fret over a problem, in the hope that you will find an answer. However, when you’re constantly worrying about yourself, your health, or your plans for the future, it can be overwhelming. This article looks at what it means to worry too much, how it can impact your health, and ways you can stop worrying and live a more fulfilling life. When worrying feels debilitating, you may find support in-person, online, via support groups, or from trusted friends and family members.

Defining worry and why it happens

One could argue that worry is nothing more than a state of mind. Yet, your mind has incredible power to affect your health and well-being. Specifically, to worry is to dwell on a potential problem or concern in the future. Being overly concerned with a future occurrence (which is typically imagined) can lead to restlessness, difficulty concentrating, muscle tension, trouble sleeping, and general unease in the body and mind.

Common misconceptions about worrying

Common misconceptions may be that worrying can help you solve problems and prepare for potential challenges in the future. It may seem as if you dwell on the problem long enough, the answers will come. In reality, though, worrying may impair problem-solving. Answers tend to come when you let your mind relax and work on the problem in the background. While it can be difficult to switch off, therapists can teach you strategies to reduce worry and promote a calmer state of mind. 

When worrying about your health takes over

There's nothing wrong with taking reasonable precautions for your health. Worrying constantly about every minor discomfort or unexpected sensation isn't the same as taking precautions, though. Taking precautions might mean quitting smoking or starting an exercise program. However, obsessive worry that you might have a physical or mental illness may be a sign of illness anxiety disorder – characterized by an irrational fear that you have or may develop a mental health condition. 

Signs that you worry about yourself and your health too much

Most people have passing thoughts that something isn't right with their overall health. This may prompt them to get needed medical treatment or mental health counseling. However, when does normal concern cross the border into excessive worry? Explore some signs that you worry about yourself and your health too much.

When worry causes extreme distress

While illness can be scary, becoming extremely distressed for long periods of time (typically 6 months or more) may indicate an anxiety disorder. Whether worrying about paying the bills, attending social events, or your own health and well-being, excessive worry can be counterproductive. Since worry can trigger the body’s “fight or flight” response, you may face anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and other health consequences. 

When you cannot accept reassurance

If your doctor says, "No, you seem perfectly healthy," but you refuse to believe that nothing's wrong, you could be worrying too much. It can be natural to seek reassurance, and emotional support may calm worries and doubt. However, sometimes people may get caught in a reassurance trap, which may include repeatedly asking a partner for reassurance or seeking answers online. To avoid reassurance traps, it can be helpful to accept that feelings of uncertainty and doubt can be natural, and not necessarily unhealthy. 

When worry affects your relationships and work

When worrying causes discord in your personal relationships, it's usually unhealthy and can make it hard for you to get along with others. Worry may show up in relationships in various ways, causing you to:

• Isolate yourself from others to avoid germs or perceived risks
• Overthink conversations and misinterpret a person's feelings and intentions
• Seek constant reassurance and need proof of love and commitment 
• Control others by constantly tracking their location or making hard-and-fast plans
• Withdraw from people and avoid vulnerable conversations that could foster intimacy

Worry can also interfere with your ability to perform and stay engaged in your job. Whether it's postponing tasks due to the fear of failing, sacrificing your work-life balance to avoid mistakes, or struggling to concentrate on simple tasks, these patterns of worry can reduce job satisfaction. 

It can be helpful to take a step back and reflect on how you’re feeling at work and in your relationships. Whether you want to stay and improve your work-life balance or leave, BetterHelp therapists can provide ongoing guidance and support. 

Recognizing when worry becomes too much

Worry is a natural emotion that can arise in response to various situations. For example, late at night, you may be worried about your partner getting home safely. However, like many emotions, worry has an end, and if it becomes uncontrollable and persistent, you may want to seek support. If symptoms of worry persist most days for 6 months or more, you may be experiencing generalized anxiety disorder. 

Common triggers and what to do first

• Financial stress such as unpaid bills or the cost of living
• Work-related challenges such as strict deadlines
• Relationship conflicts such as arguments or break-ups
• Physical health issues such as diabetes or heart disease
• Life transitions such as moving cities or starting a new career
• Social situations such as group dinners or conferences

Consider seeking support from friends, family members, loved ones, or a mental health professional when you’re experiencing challenges in daily life. By taking care of your mental health, you may respond more effectively to stress and better deal with uncertainties in life, such as moving to a new city. You may also want to add a moment to reflect on your thoughts and emotions before taking action. 

How to stop worrying so much

So, what do you do once you realize you're worrying too much about your health? There are a few simple steps you can take to change your mindset and get on a positive path.

Take direct action when you can

The first thing you can do is to take action to resolve your problems. If you're worried about getting diabetes, try to stop ruminating about what life is going to be like when you find out you have it. Instead, consider doing things that will prevent the illness, like exercising and watching what you eat.

Redirect your attention with a simple reset

Research suggests that the more you try to suppress thoughts, the more likely they are to appear. For example, if you try not to think about a pink elephant, you will likely think about a pink elephant. Therefore, it may be helpful to redirect your attention and observe the feeling of worry without escalating it.

Observing the worry without escalating it

• Meditate: Sit comfortably and watch each inhale and exhale, returning your attention to the breath when you get lost in thought.
• Journal: Write down what you’re worried about, how it feels in your body, and what caused it, to help process worrisome feelings.  
• Ground yourself: Observe a single point, such as the way the sun feels, the water on your body as you shower, or the sensations of the ground underneath your feet.  

Stop sacrificing your life to reassurance

Reassurance seeking, whether asking someone for constant validation, searching symptoms online, or repeatedly asking doctors, can leave you feeling emotionally drained and take up valuable time. To stop this cycle, you can try the stop, drop, and delay method. This method involves pausing before acting (such as searching symptoms), delaying the compulsion (such as delaying searching for 1 hour), and dropping the behavior (such as searching less frequently).

Create a minimum viable self-care list

Sometimes deadlines at work or responsibilities at home can leave you feeling tired, which can make worries seem louder. Research suggests that sleep deprivation can negatively impact emotional regulation, by disrupting the amygdala and hippocampus. Therefore, it can be important to take preventative action by creating a minimum viable self-care list.

This list is essentially a set of non-negotiable habits that support your health and well-being. You may, for example, prioritize getting 7-8 hours of sleep, eating regularly, and exercising each day. When you’re unable to meet these needs, it may be helpful to speak openly with friends, family members, and colleagues to adjust expectations. 

Work on improving your mood

For some people, a depressed mood and obsessive worry go hand in hand. If that's the case for you, it may be possible to address the worry indirectly by working to improve your mood. Consider these suggestions: 

• Get outside in nature and get some exercise
• Spend time with friends
• Eat healthy foods
• Start a new hobby

Do things that lift your mood, and your worries may diminish.

How a support system can help 

Whether you're navigating an external event, such as divorce, or experiencing a mental health condition, such as generalized anxiety disorder, community support can help. A study on young adults suggests that peer support can reduce anxiety, boost self-esteem, and enhance happiness. To receive emotional support, you may speak with a trusted friend, relative, or colleague. 

There may also be peer-support groups available, where people with similar experiences share their stories. These community-led programs may provide guidance and give you a great sense of belonging and connection.

What professional support can offer

If you've been worrying about your health for a long time, you might need extra help changing those thought patterns. Talking to a therapist is one way to address your concerns positively. Sometimes, the cost of therapy sessions, the distance you have to travel, or the rigidity of schedules can make it difficult to attend in-person therapy sessions. A viable alternative for these individuals is online counseling. This treatment can be offered from the comfort of your home or anywhere you have an internet connection. 

Therapeutic approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, may be helpful. In CBT, your therapist teaches you how to recognize, assess, and challenge the thoughts behind your worries. 

Moreover, online CBT for health anxiety has shown promise in terms of its effectiveness. In a recent study, individuals undergoing internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy showed a reduction in symptoms such as avoidance behaviors, depression, generalized anxiety, and intolerance of uncertainty.