Exploring Behavioral Development Milestones And A Child’s Development

From the first time they smile through their first steps and more, childhood development behavioral milestones can help you track your child's growth and learning as they age. 

Below, we’ll discuss important developmental milestones in a child’s first five years.

What are developmental milestones?

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, developmental milestones “are things most children (75% or more) can do by a certain age.” The ways in which a child learns, moves, speaks, and plays can offer insight into their developmental progress.

How milestones are defined

The specific areas that are defined and measured to chart a child’s progress are called developmental milestones, and may be reached at different times depending on the child and their environment. The CDC sets standards to be met for age-based expectations for child development based on years of research from child experts. 

Why milestones vary from child to child

A child’s development happens at its own pace, and may vary depending on biological, environmental, and genetic factors. However, significant delays may be a sign to talk to your pediatrician, as these delays might indicate a medical condition or developmental disorder. 

Why behavioral development is important for a child

Behavioral development can be an indicator of many aspects of a child’s growth and health. By understanding what to look for in a general way, you can have a fairly good idea of whether your child is on track. 

Social and emotional growth 

Behavioral development in children can play an important role in social and emotional growth. During this time they will learn important tools for empathy, self-regulation, and positive relationship building through personal experiences, which can be essential for lifelong mental health, success, and well-being. Healthy development may help reduce disruptive behaviors and support adaptive ones. 

Academic readiness and learning skills

Healthy behavioral development also prepares a child for academic success. In a school setting, there will be certain expectations for behavior, attention, and resilience that are age-dependent, and when your child is on-track, they will have the tools they need to learn and to form beneficial relationships. 

Long-term behavioral and mental health outcomes

Mental health in adults can be significantly impacted by childhood events and experiences. Forming age-appropriate child development skills in a supportive environment can play a foundational role in building positive mental health markers. 

Major behavioral milestones by age

Now let’s take a broad look at certain common milestones by age group to offer an adequate idea of what to expect as your child grows from infancy to grade school age. 

Infancy and toddlerhood

Infancy through toddlerhood can be a time of significant change. From recognizing familiar faces to learning to manipulate small objects, many babies can baffle parents with how quickly they move from one milestone to the next. 

Two months: Babies at his age can usually hold their heads up while lying on their stomachs, move both arms and both legs, and briefly open their hands. A two-month-old baby typically watches you as you move and often spends several seconds staring at a toy or another interesting object.

Most babies at this age usually calm down when you speak to them or pick them up, look at your face in response, smile, and seem happy when you approach. Babies at this age often react to loud sounds by crying and can typically make sounds other than crying.

Four months: According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, babies at four months old can usually do the following:

• Hold their head steady without support while being held
• Push up to their elbows or forearms when on their stomach 
• Hold a toy when it’s placed in their hands
• Bring their hands to their mouth
• Use their arms to swing at toys
• Open their mouth when seeing a breast or bottle if they’re hungry
• Examine their hands with interest

A four-month-old baby can also usually smile on their own to get your attention; chuckle when you make them laugh; and move, look at you, or make sounds to get your attention. Babies at this age often use cooing sounds, frequently in response to something you say. You may also notice that they turn their head toward the sound of your voice when you speak.

Six months: Babies at this age can usually roll from their tummy to their back, lean on their hands for support while sitting, and push up with straight arms while lying on their stomachs. A six-month-old baby often puts things in their mouth to explore them, closes their lips when they aren't hungry or don't want more food, and reaches to grab toys or other objects they want.

Nine months: Babies at this age can typically get into a sitting position by themselves, move objects from one hand to the other, sit without support, and use their fingers to pull food toward themselves in a raking motion. A nine-month-old baby also tends to look for objects dropped out of sight, such as food, bottles, or toys, and typically can bang two objects together.

One year: Babies at this age can usually put something into a container, such as a shape-sorter toy, and look for objects that they see you hide. A one-year-old baby also typically waves goodbye to people, understands and briefly pauses when they hear the word no, and calls parents by special names.

At this age, babies usually enjoy playing games or singing songs with you, such as pat-a-cake and the Itsy Bitsy Spider. They can also typically pull themselves up to stand, pick things up between their thumb and pointer fingers, walk while holding onto something, and drink from a cup without a lid if you hold it.

15 months: Children at this age can typically copy other children while playing, show affection with hugs or kisses, clap when excited, show you objects they like, and hug stuffed toys or dolls. A 15-month-old child usually also tries to say one or two words other than the special names used for parents, points to ask for something or your help, follows directions given by word or gesture, and looks at familiar objects when you name them.

18 months: Children at this age often feel confident moving away from you while watching to ensure you stay close. They may also help you dress them, point to show you things that interest them, look at pages in a book with you, and put out their hands for you to wash them. An 18-month-old child also typically tries to say three or more words aside from the special names used for parents and usually follows one-step directions without gestures.

Two years: Children at this age can usually notice when other people are upset, react to emotions displayed by others, and look at a person’s face to gauge how to respond to a new situation. A two-year-old child can also typically say at least two words together, use gestures beyond waving or pointing, point to at least two body parts when asked to identify them, and point to objects in a book when you ask them to find things.

30 months: Children at this age can usually play next to and with other children and follow simple routines, such as clean-up time. They may also say, "Look at me," to show you what they've done. A 30-month-old child can typically say around 50 words; use sentences of two or more words with one expressing an action; say words such as "we," "I," or "me"; and name objects in a book if you point and ask them to identify them.

Preschool age

Some major developments experienced during the preschool years include learning to speak in simple sentences, follow simple directions, and engage in cooperative play and dress-up play. 

Three years: Children at this age can usually notice other children, join them to play in groups, and calm down within 10 minutes of being separated from their caregivers. A three-year-old child also typically has the following abilities:

• Have conversations involving at least two back-and-forth interactions
• Ask "who, what, where, when, and why" questions
• Talk well enough that people outside their family can understand them most of the time 
• Identify actions in a picture or book when asked
• Answer their first name on request

At this stage of development, a child can also typically draw a circle if you show them how, and they can usually avoid touching hot objects, such as the stove or fireplace, after you warn them it will hurt. Children around this age can also usually use a fork, partially dress themselves, and string items like large beads or macaroni together.

Four years: Children at this age can typically pretend to be someone else during play, ask to play with other children if none are nearby, change behavior expectations according to their surroundings, and avoid danger, such as by refusing to jump from a tall slide. In terms of language and cognition, a four-year-old child can also usually use sentences with four or more words, answer simple questions, memorize some words from favorite songs or nursery rhymes, and talk about at least one thing that happened to them that day. 

A child at this stage may also name a few colors, draw someone with three or more body parts, and say what happens next in their favorite stories. They can generally catch a large ball most of the time they try, hold writing utensils between their fingers and thumb rather than in a fist, serve themselves food or pour water with supervision, and unbutton some of their buttons alone.

Grade school years

Though we’ll only be looking at age five in this particular instance, the grade school years expand into refining a wide range of behaviors. Children develop and strengthen problem-solving skills, emotional regulation, and begin to explore and prioritize peer relationships. 

Five years: Children at five years of age can usually follow rules and take turns when playing with other children. They can also typically complete simple chores like clearing the table and can perform for you by singing, dancing, or acting. In terms of physical ability, they can typically hop on one foot and button some of their buttons. 

A five-year-old child can also usually do the following:

• Tell complete stories that they either heard or made up that include at least two events
• Use or recognize simple rhyming words
• Answer simple questions about a story you read together
• Keep a conversation going through three or more back-and-forth interactions

At this age, a child can also usually count to at least 10, name some letters or numbers when you point to them, write some of the letters in their name, pay attention for five to 10 minutes during a structured activity, and use words such as yesterday, tomorrow, morning, or night in relation to their understanding of time. 

How children develop behavioral and problem-solving skills

Childhood years can be essential for developing the life skills that will serve them into adulthood, including how to get along with others, solve problems, and regulate their emotions. 

Learning through everyday experiences

Everyday things are the training ground for a child’s ability to develop problem-solving skills. Play is a child’s main occupation, and through play, they can learn cause and effect, conflict resolution, and how to communicate effectively. 

The role of caregivers and environment

A safe, nurturing environment and emotionally-regulated caregivers can be key in supporting a child’s healthy development. Children will imitate what they know, and so when you model healthy emotional regulation and empathy, you offer an example that can lead to balance and stability down the line. In addition, when a child feels safe, they are less likely to develop attachment issues or nervous system dysregulation that can contribute to mental health challenges. 

When to be concerned about behavioral development

Developmental concerns can arise in even the most emotionally-healthy households. Biological and genetic factors can lead to conditions that may create delays. It’s best to act early when these delays are noticed, as a medical or mental health professional can offer treatment or support for the child and their parents. 

Signs of potential developmental concerns

The following can be signs of potential developmental concerns in children:

• Delayed motor skills, excessive clumsiness in movements
• Limited eye contact or no eye contact
• Lack of interest in caregivers, low response to affection
• Lack of speech, no babbling by 12 months old
• Losing previously acquired skills
• Extremely difficult to calm down

When to talk to a child’s doctor

If your child’s progress seems stalled, or if your child’s milestones aren’t being met in a timely manner, it may be best to talk to your pediatrician. If the delay isn’t a problem, they can reassure you, and if it’s concerning, then they can act early with developmental screenings using validated tools. 

Supporting healthy behavioral development at home

You can support healthy development and help your children reach milestones by using certain strategies in the home. 

Age-appropriate expectations and routines

Young children can thrive on routine and understanding what is expected of them. A key factor in healthy child development can be offering an environment that feels safe. You may do this by creating an age-appropriate routine for them to follow with things like sleep and wake time, meals, and specific activities throughout the day. Ensure that they understand certain boundaries and expectations throughout their day. For example, “before each meal we wash our hands”. 

Encouraging social skills and emotional regulation

It’s never too early to start working on social skills and emotional regulation, as long as you keep it age-appropriate. From the youngest age, talk to your baby with energy and inflection, and incorporate big facial expressions and body language. Model appropriate emotional regulation by practicing it yourself, and explaining in simple language what you expect. 

How therapy can help you as a parent or caregiver

If you have concerns about your child’s development, you might consider speaking to your pediatrician. They may refer you to speak with a professional who specializes in assessing children’s development. In the meantime, you might consider finding support for yourself as a parent or caregiver. Concerns about the development of a child can cause stress and anxiety for caregivers, who deserve support as they nurture young children.

Benefits of online therapy for parenting through developmental milestones

If you don’t have time to visit a counselor’s office, you might consider online therapy, which research has shown to be just as effective as in-office therapy. As a parent, you can work with a therapist online through a virtual therapy platform like BetterHelp. You can communicate with a licensed therapist via audio or video sessions at a time that works for your schedule. 

A licensed therapist might help you develop positive, practical parenting strategies and healthy coping mechanisms to manage stress and frustration. With BetterHelp, you can contact your therapist in between sessions via in-app messaging if you have questions or concerns, whether they’re related to parenting or something completely different. 

According to mental health experts at the American Psychological Association, online therapy provides numerous benefits andcomparable results to traditional treatment in an office setting. Virtual therapy is generally less expensive, tends to have shorter wait times than in-office treatment, and offers the convenience of attending from the comfort of your home.