Body language can be thought of as a form of nonverbal vocabulary that uses expressions to emphasize or alter the meaning of the words we use. Gestures and nonverbal cues tend to be common in face-to-face communication. We may use body language to communicate with others through our facial expressions, body movements, posture, eye contact, hand gestures, tone, and volume. Learning to read body language and express ourselves through body language can improve communication skills. For professional guidance in learning about body language and communicating more effectively, consider working with a therapist online or in person.
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How reliable is communication through body language? Body language can be powerful, and it's often reliable for revealing the way a person feels. There can be circumstances when it may not be foolproof, however. This could be the case when a person knows how to manipulate their body language for their own gain, for example. Consider the poker player who has perfected their body language to the point that the other players can’t see their "tells."
Body language may come through whether you intend to reveal it or not. Moreover, you may need to be careful when assessing someone else's nonverbal communication cues. For instance, you may interpret body language one way, but the gesture could mean something entirely different to someone else. When reading body language cues, it can be important to know when there may be cultural differences at play.
Body language examples The following body language examples tend to be common and may be easily discerned once you know their usual meanings.
Crossing arms across your chest Your arms and legs are perhaps one of the first types of nonverbal communication people tend to notice when they see you. Sitting or standing with your arms crossed across your chest may be interpreted as defensive body language. When a person crosses their arms, they are usually viewed as insecure, annoyed, or closed off. You may also appear angry or stubborn.
If you see someone with their arms and legs crossed for a long period of time, you may want to consider that it could also be a reaction to cold temperatures. It could mean the person is tired or simply supporting their shoulders in an armless chair as well.
Smiling Smiles can mean different things, depending on the exact facial expression. There can be happy smiles, shy smiles, warm smiles, and ironic smiles, for instance.
The Duchenne smile generally consists of pulling up the corners of your mouth while squeezing your eyes to make crow's feet. It's typically considered a genuine smile, as opposed to a fake smile, where you may just expose your teeth. You may have heard of the term “smiling eyes.” Some people can be skilled at conveying a smile through direct eye contact. When you display an authentic Duchenne smile, you usually appear approachable and friendly.
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Tapping your fingers When you tap your fingers, you may appear impatient or nervous. If you’re a finger-tapper, you might consider that this habit can grate on others’ nerves at times.
Tilting your head to one side When you tilt your head to the side, it may mean you're listening intently and deeply interested in the information you're hearing. It can also mean you're concentrating very hard.
Steepling your fingers Holding your fingertips together and your palms apart can indicate that you have authority and control. Bosses and politicians may use this gesture to show they're in charge.
Crossing your legs The way you cross your legs can tell others a lot about you and how you're feeling at any given moment. If you cross them at the ankle, it may show that you're trying to hide something. If you cross them at the knee, but point your knees away from the other person, it may mean you're uncomfortable with them.
A common term related to body language is the “figure four” position. To sit this way, you can stretch your arms and legs forward and then cross one ankle up over your knee, with your legs crossed high and your pelvic region open. With crossed legs in this position, your body generally makes the shape of the number four. The nonverbal communication message that the “figure four” pose represents is generally that you’re powerful and domineering. When your arms and legs are open and relaxed, you may send a nonverbal message that you’re confident and approachable.
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Pulling your ear When you tug on your ear, it may show that you're trying to make a decision. When doing this, you may look indecisive or noncommittal.
Putting your head in your hands When you put your head in your hands, it could mean that you're bored, as if you're so weary of life that you just can't hold your head up anymore. It can also indicate that you're upset or so ashamed you don't want to show your face.
Standing up straight Standing erect with good posture may help you appear confident.
Gesturing with your hands open and palms up What you do with your hands can make a big difference in whether people trust you or not. Holding your hands open and gesturing with your palms up may show that you have nothing to hide.
Eye contact You may need to make eye contact with the person you're talking to if you want them to feel comfortable with the conversation and accept what you have to say. In general, most people are comfortable with eye contact with a stranger for about three seconds at a time. Once you become a friend, they usually don't mind maintaining eye contact with you for longer periods of time.
Looking down Looking at the floor or ground may make you appear weak and unconfident. Unless there's something you need to discuss down there, you may want to keep your eyes on the level of the other person's face. When you break eye contact, as you should every few seconds, consider looking to the side as opposed to up or down.
Rubbing your hands together Rubbing your hands together vigorously can indicate excitement.
Twisting your hair Often, movies and TV shows use the gesture of twisting the hair to show flirting. That may be the meaning you get when someone twists their hair, especially if they look up at you through their lashes while they do it. However, if you're in a job interview, you might look like you’re nervous and uncomfortable as you idly twist your hair.
Wearing micro-expressions Micro-expressions can be defined as brief facial expressions that happen in about 1/25th of a second. They usually happen when you're trying to hold back your emotions. When you see someone showing a micro-expression, it could mean that they're trying to conceal an emotion from you.
Walking briskly When you want to show your self-confidence, consider walking briskly and with purpose. Whether you're going somewhere specific or not, you can walk as if you're striding confidently toward an important destination.
Placing your hand on your cheek When you touch your cheek with your hand, you might show that you're thinking and carefully evaluating the information you're receiving. When you see someone do this while you're talking to them, you may assume that they're taking you seriously enough to consider what you're saying.
Rubbing your eyes When you rub your eyes, it can mean you doubt or disbelieve what you're hearing. If someone is rubbing their eye as you speak, you might benefit from stopping and asking for their feedback so that you can address their doubts.
Rubbing or touching your nose When you rub or touch your nose with your index finger, you may appear dishonest. If you do it in a conversation that requires openness and honesty, you could have trouble accomplishing your goals. If you see someone else rubbing their nose, it could be a sign to doubt the accuracy of their words.
Standing with your hands clasped behind your back When you stand with your hands clasped behind your back, others may read this as anger, apprehension, or frustration. It may seem like a nice, casual pose, but it can make others uncomfortable and wary of you.
Pinching the bridge of your nose When you close your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose, you may seem to be making a negative evaluation of what's happening in the conversation. If someone takes this pose with you, you might need to take a different approach in enlisting their support for your goal.
Standing with your hands on your hips This pose can be tricky. In some cases, it can mean that you're feeling angry and may behave aggressively. In others, it may simply mean that you're enthusiastic and ready to get something done. How someone interprets the meaning of this stance may have to do with your use of personal space. For most casual acquaintances, a good distance for personal space is about three feet or about an arm’s length distance between you if you’re standing shoulder to shoulder. You can comfortably stand a bit closer than that with good friends and family members.
Therapy can improve communication skills Learning body language examples can be a good first step to effectively expressing yourself. It might also help you read the unspoken messages and nonverbal signals that others are sending to you. However, knowing the right movements, gestures, and facial expressions may only take you so far. If you want to have healthy, productive interactions with others, you may need to work toward a better understanding of yourself and the people in your life.
Couples who misread each other's body language can quickly become angry at, disappointed in, or out of touch with each other. If you need help learning to communicate with your significant other or anyone else, it may benefit you to talk to a therapist.
Benefits of online therapy People who worry about how their body language may be perceived by others can face barriers to traditional therapy. For example, they may experience social anxiety or feel nervous about talking with a therapist in a clinical setting. Online therapy can offer a viable solution for these individuals by empowering them to speak with a therapist via phone call or online chat if they feel uncomfortable speaking on a video call. Online platforms can also add convenience by allowing for sessions outside of typical office hours.
Effectiveness of online therapy Those experiencing symptoms of social anxiety may struggle to communicate effectively through both verbal and nonverbal methods, including body language. According to a 2022 study, online therapy can be an effective treatment for social anxiety disorder . Those who don’t live with social anxiety may also benefit from online therapy as a method of improving their communication skills, as a growing body of evidence generally suggests that online therapy is as effective as in-person therapy for a variety of mental health-related concerns.
Takeaway We may not always realize it, but we often gain just as much information from a person’s nonverbal communication as we do from their verbal communication. Body language can play a significant role in face-to-face interactions. For instance, a person who crosses their arms and legs may appear closed off or as if they don’t wish to converse. Meanwhile, having an open posture, smiling, and making eye contact can invite conversation. There can be hundreds of examples of body language cues to explore. If you have trouble communicating or interpreting body language, it may be helpful to speak with a licensed mental health professional who can guide you. You can
connect with a therapist in your local area or through an online therapy platform.