Enjoying Valentine's Day Single: Self-love And Compassion

Valentine’s Day is often seen as a holiday that can only be celebrated by most people in a relationship or those who are in love with someone. However, its significance in American culture can make it difficult for those not in a relationship to know how to navigate the day. You don’t necessarily have to be in a relationship to celebrate Valentine’s Day, and there are many ways you can make this holiday work for you as a single person. 

Many people may not want to spend the day with a family member or friend, but there are plenty of ways you can celebrate on your own. If you want to feel good about being single on Valentine’s Day, you might take yourself on a date, practice self-care, attend a singles event, or enjoy a meal at your favorite restaurant. If you’re struggling with feelings of loneliness or other mental health concerns, it can help to remember that you’re not the only person in the world without a significant other on Valentine’s Day. Working with a licensed therapist in person or online may also be helpful.

The benefits of spending Valentine's Day single 

Celebrating holidays may benefit your mental health, as it can offer a time to focus on tradition, shared humanity, and the joy of a special day to shake up your routine. Some people may also receive time off work for holidays, or their workplace may offer a celebration with snacks, drinks, and conversation. These changes in daily life can be exciting and offer a reason to get dressed, go out, and enjoy the day. 

However, for single people, it might seem that Valentine’s Day lacks a certain spark. Seeing couples have fancy date nights or walking through stores of items focused on love can be challenging. For this reason, it can be brave to choose to celebrate the holiday alone. 

Even if you aren’t in a relationship, millions of Americans may also be spending Valentine’s Day alone, so you’re not alone in the sense that others are likely having similar experiences. Because of the amount of people who might be spending this holiday solo, singles events and methods for celebrating Valentine’s Day without a partner are often available. 

Big and small ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day in your own company 

Below are a few fun activities to celebrate Valentine’s Day on your own, whether you’re looking for a low-key event or a special moment. 

Practice self-care

Self-care can be a way to give yourself the love you may give to or crave from others. According to the American Psychological Association, self-care can be defined as any action that benefits your physical or psychological health. Self-care does not have to be extravagant, and it may involve activities like the following: 

• Taking a hot bath 
• Making your favorite food
• Having a tasty snack
• Going on a walk
• Partaking in 30 minutes of exercise 
• Cuddling with a pet
• Hugging someone you love 
• Practicing hygiene 
• Cleaning your home 
• Reading a book
• Buying yourself flowers or a small gift
• Trying a new hobby
• Learning a new skill 
• Getting a massage 
• Going to a spa 
• Swimming 
• Taking space from others if needed
• Taking a break when you’re overwhelmed
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Take yourself out on a date

Before going out, you can dress in a way that boosts your confidence. When you go out, try not to think about what others might think of you. You deserve to enjoy your own energy, and celebrations don’t have to mean having someone else by your side. If you’re uncomfortable taking yourself on a date, ask your single friends to come along. 

Go to a singles event 

Cities around the US frequently host singles events for those who want to mingle with other singles or otherwise have fun on Valentine’s Day. If you don’t like Valentine’s Day, you can also partake in “anti-Valentine’s Day” events that celebrate the dislike of commercial holidays. Websites like Eventbrite typically allow you to search events in your city by keyword to find something that fits your energy.

Spend the day with a pet 

If you’re not looking to go out for Valentine’s Day, spending the day at home with your pet can be enjoyable. Consider making them homemade treats to show your love and care for their role in your life. You can also watch a movie and cuddle with your pets or partake in self-care practices. If you have a dog, it might be beneficial to grab his leash and head to a local nature trail for a long walk. 

Write yourself a letter

Writing yourself a letter can be a way to show yourself love and compassion. If you would typically write a love letter to someone you’re in a romantic relationship with, try to build your relationship with yourself by writing out your accomplishments and the things you love about yourself. Below are a few prompts for letters to remind yourself of your good qualities: 

• Write about your top 10 favorite attributes. 
• Write a letter to your past self. 
• Write a letter to your future self.
• Write a letter to your current self from the perspective of your child self. 
• Write about your most significant accomplishment and why it makes you proud. 
• Write a love letter to yourself from your “ideal partner.” 
• Write a list of goals you’d like to accomplish for the year. 
• Write about your favorite parts of being single. 
• Write positive affirmations for self-confidence and self-compassion. 

Try to avoid writing your letter about regrets or negative insights about yourself. Instead, keep an energy of hope, optimism, and a desire to try, even if you don’t necessarily have self-love at the moment. You can even sign it in a way that makes you feel loved.

Try something new 

Valentine’s Day can be the perfect opportunity to try something new if there’s an activity, hobby, or opportunity you’ve wanted to try. Completing an item off your bucket list can be a way to enjoy the energy of the holiday without focusing on relationships or love. Try a new recipe, new workout, routine, or watch a new show. Forbes reports that even listening to a new song can improve mental clarity. 

Go for a hike or spend time in nature

Spending time in nature has often been linked to mental well-being. Consider going on a hike, walking in nature, swimming in a natural source of water, or having a picnic by yourself in your favorite nature spot to enjoy some alone time. You can also partake in hobbies with natural surroundings, such as painting, drawing, or journaling outdoors. 

If you don’t have a lot of nature near you, consider going to a park, garden, or nature preserve. You might also consider taking a drive to the closest national park, as there are over 425 national parks in the US, covering around 85 million acres. When spending time in the forest or remote areas, it can be best to practice forest safety by bringing bear spray, charging your phone, ensuring there’s enough gas in your car, wearing proper gear, drinking water, and staying on established trails when hiking. 

Eat out or order a meal from your favorite restaurant 

You don’t have to be in a relationship to enjoy delicious food on V Day. Consider making a reservation for one at your favorite restaurant in town or taking another single friend out for dinner. If you feel apprehensive about eating alone at a restaurant, you can use a food delivery app to order your favorite meal to your doorstep.

Go on a self-love trip 

A road trip can be a great opportunity to connect with yourself regardless of your relationship status. Consider booking a vacation rental or hotel room in another city (or your own) to have a small vacation close to home. You might listen to your favorite songs, sing loudly in the car, and participate in your hobbies. You might also choose to have experiences alone, such as touring the area, hiking, trying a wine tasting, or taking an art class. Spend your time alone in the way that makes you most comfortable, and think about how you can cultivate self-love through these activities. 

Consider therapy

Going to therapy can be an act of self-care, and you don’t have to have a diagnosis or mental health disorder to try it. A therapist can support you with loneliness, negative self-talk, chronic stress, difficulty in relationships, and any other topic you’re seeking support with. In therapy, you can talk openly about your challenges and receive evidence-based insights from a professional trained in guiding clients. 

Benefits of online therapy

If you face barriers to in-person therapy, such as financial difficulties, social anxiety, or a remote location, you can also talk to a therapist online through a platform like BetterHelp. Online therapy platforms may offer unique resources, such as optional weekly group sessions, journaling prompts, and worksheets. You can also choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions with your therapist.

Effectiveness of online therapy

Studies show that online therapy can be effective. In one study, researchers discovered that internet-based interventions were frequently more effective than face-to-face options in reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety, which may be common alongside loneliness. In addition, the participants typically reported an increased quality of life and found the online interventions to be more cost-effective.