No One Eats Alone: The Importance Of Inclusion

No One Eats Alone Day in February was primarily created to drive awareness of the growing number of children experiencing loneliness, social ostracization, and school bullying. Because of the critical importance of social interaction, children who feel alone can experience various adverse mental and physical health challenges. Learning more about this day and promoting it in your own community can be one step toward supporting these children. For further guidance in supporting your own child, consider scheduling an online or in-person therapy session with a licensed mental health professional.

No One Eats Alone Day (NOEA Day) was founded by Beyond Differences, an organization “training student leaders to embrace differences and change the culture in their schools to be more welcoming for everyone.” This day is a program that teachers, parents, and student leaders can bring to their schools to forge connections and new friendships between students to end social isolation. 

The curriculum generally follows Common Core ELA standards and CASEL competencies and encourages students experiencing isolation to find support in their community. It can go beyond helping children who might not have someone to sit with in the lunch room by focusing on making friends and ending social isolation through activities, activism, education, and school-wide efforts. 

According to their website, Beyond Differences “was founded by the parents of Lili Rachel Smith, who was born with a cranial facial syndrome and was socially isolated during her middle school years.” Lili died at 15 from medical complications, prompting some teens from her school to come together to discuss isolation in middle school groups. You can learn more about Lili’s story on the Beyond Differences Website. 

Lili’s parents organized national youth programs through Beyond Differences, empowering people nationwide to participate in their mission. The National Teen Board comprises high school students who work together to fight social isolation in their schools. Children in this group can also attend the “Activist Academy,” a four-day event and retreat to learn about activism and bullying prevention. 

NOEA Day teaches students to take action in social inclusion and make new friends. Teens who want to join the Teen Board in Northern California and nationwide can apply online after reviewing the application guide. You can learn more about the current Teen Board members on the website as well. Members of the board typically work on challenges in schools like immigration, refugee life, disability visibility, allyship and inclusion, queer visibility, and policy research. 

Students like those on the Teen Board can serve as leaders in the celebration of NOEA Day. Those wanting to celebrate this day in their communities can receive resources, lesson plans, and activities from Beyond Differences by filling out a request form.

The impact of social isolation on school-age children 

Although updated evidence may be beneficial, studies show that social connection tends to be the most critical human need. When this need is met, it can contribute to a longer lifespan, improved health, and enhanced mental well-being. Social connection can be crucial at all stages of life, but it can be especially important in the developmental years of childhood. 

A lack of social connection can lead to stress, loneliness, and mental illness, with one study showing that students who are isolated are usually 1.78 times more likely to experience depressive symptoms. 

A 2022 study published in the Pediatria journal found that children and adolescents who experienced social isolation in schools were generally more likely to experience depression, anxiety, high levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), and reduced cognitive development, especially due to the COVID-19 pandemic. When children’s social needs aren’t met, they may turn to self-isolation, self-loathing, avoidance, or unhealthy coping mechanisms.

How to combat feelings of "being alone"

It can be crucial for parents and caregivers to be aware of their child’s social life. If your child is not making friends, eats alone at lunchtime, and doesn’t seem to connect with others away from home, consider the following tips. 

Drive awareness of this day at your child’s school 

Beyond Differences encourages parents and educators to request resources from their website to participate in NOEA Day. They offer suggestions for schools to unite students through games, conversation starters, and activities. However, you can also come up with your own ways to celebrate this day and advocate to your school’s PTA and board to add NOEA Day to their roster of events. When advocating for this day at your school, it may be helpful to discuss statistics about childhood loneliness and isolation. 

Participate in bullying prevention efforts

Advocating for bullying prevention programs and student groups that target bullying can significantly improve school life for students experiencing bullying. Diversity training, disability awareness, race studies, and LGBTQIA+ groups at school can also be essential for helping students appreciate their differences. 

Communicate openly with your child

In some cases, parents may not know their child faces isolation at school. The child might experience shame about eating alone or experiencing bullying, so they might not be open with their caregivers or parents. In these cases, open conversations about social life can be crucial. 

Try not to focus the conversation around pressuring your child to make friends or suggesting that it is their fault they aren’t making friends. Instead, show empathy and express that you are there to support them, ask them how they are feeling, or work on icebreakers that might help them feel more comfortable starting a conversation with kids at school. You might also show them efforts like Beyond Differences to remind them that people are working to make a change and they aren’t alone. In some cases, therapy may be a beneficial resource for children struggling to talk to their parents about what they’re going through at school. 

Check on your child’s social media usage 

Children who are isolated at school may try to meet their social needs online through social media platforms. Unmonitored social media usage can lead to exposure to unhealthy images, adult chat sites, and people who are looking to take advantage of lonely children. Talk to your child about the dangers of online chats and catfishing when someone claims to be someone they aren’t online. 

Below are a few tips to keep children safe online: 

• Use software that blocks websites not added to an approved list on your child’s computer or device. 
• Set rules for how long your child can use their devices and when they should be turned off. 
• Turn off location sharing on apps like Snapchat, which can show your child’s exact location to others. 
• Model healthy social media and internet usage. 
• Learn more about common cyber threats and techniques used to target children online. 
• Remind your child never to meet up with someone they met online without consulting you. 
• Talk to your child about unhealthy body image, editing, filters, and inaccurate portrayals of influencers online. 
• Look into cyberbullying resources. 
• Remind your child they can come to you for support for anything that happens online. 
• Avoid invading your child’s personal space online, but remind them that they might not be able to use certain websites until they’re older due to safety reasons. 

Use your discretion on your child’s age and level of internet literacy to decide which rules to implement. For example, an older teen might not need strict monitoring as much as a young child. 

Talk to a therapist

Parents and children may benefit from talking to a therapist about a child’s social isolation. For children who might be living with social anxiety disorder, a therapist can guide them in healthy socialization exercises and techniques. For parents who are worried about their child’s well-being or social acceptance, talking to a therapist may offer clarity on how to best support them. 

Benefits of online therapy

If you face barriers to in-person therapy, you might try online methods. Through an online platform like BetterHelp for adults or TeenCounseling for teens, you can receive professional support from home via phone, video, or live chat sessions. Teens may prefer online therapy as they are often familiar with online platforms. 

Effectiveness of online therapy

Studies show that online therapy can be effective for teens. In one study, internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) was found to significantly increase self-esteem, self-compassion, and quality of life in adolescents with low self-esteem, and the online intervention also reduced depression and anxiety symptoms.