Feeling Lost: How It Can Affect Mental Health And How Online Therapy Can Help
Many people find themselves in situations where they feel a little directionless at one point or another, particularly during times of uncertainty or change. It may be challenging to know how to handle that, but with time, it may be possible to realign and move forward. In some cases, however, becoming “unstuck” can be a serious challenge. In such cases, those feelings may be a symptom of a larger mental health issue.
What does it mean to feel lost?
Feeling lost can be a personal experience; what it feels like for you may not apply to someone else. People who feel lost may have the sense that they’ve lost their motivation or passion. Some might feel as if they’ve been aimlessly traveling on the same path or stuck in their daily routine without progress. For others, feeling lost means losing purpose or meaning in life, creating emotional numbness.
Why do people sometimes feel lost?
Many circumstances in life can lead an individual to feel aimless or without purpose. For example, uncertainty could be associated with significant life changes such as relationship shifts, career changes, or stages of personal growth. Feeling lost doesn’t have to result from a specific life event, however. Below are some less tangible, and, by extension, possibly harder to recognize reasons why people may feel lost sometimes.
Severe stress, feeling overwhelmed
Sometimes people feel lost when faced with overwhelm. Others might feel like they have no control over the stress in their daily life, leading to a sense of detachment from oneself and others. Feelings of helplessness and disillusionment may also characterize constant stress.
Societal expectations
Many societies place a lot of value on having goals and a “direction” in life. Such expectations can put strain on the individual, possibly creating a feeling of disconnection. When our idea of what we’d like to do isn’t in alignment with the things we’re expected to do, it can create a sense of aimlessness.
Social isolation
Some people feel lonely and isolated without close friends or family. Close bonds with others are important for both mental and physical health. When we don’t have them, we might end up feeling lost and without purpose.
Signs you might be feeling lost
The ways people feel lost may manifest differently based on their unique circumstances. It may be challenging to recognize the signs, but with further exploration, you might come to associate them with feeling lost and directionless. Here are some indicators that you may be feeling lost:
- Mood swings
- Unexplained crying or irritability
- Withdrawing socially
- Lack of interest in things you used to enjoy
- Feeling overwhelmed by doing simple things
- Impulsive or risky behaviors
- Feeling like you’re running on “autopilot”
- Disinterest in the future
Exploring mind and identity
Sometimes, when we feel lost, we may also feel disconnected from ourselves. Perhaps you’ve lost touch with what motivates you or what your values are. You might have forgotten your strengths or the things that make you unique. Below are a few questions to contemplate, which may offer a starting point.
Reflect on your values
- What are your core values? What principles are most important to you, and are you living in alignment with them?
- What brings you joy and fulfillment? Identify activities or experiences that make you feel happy and satisfied.
- Who do you admire and why? Understanding the qualities of people you look up to can offer insights into your own desires.
- What drains your energy? Pinpointing things that leave you feeling depleted can help you make necessary changes.
Consider your goals and future
- What are your top three goals right now? Focusing on a few key objectives can provide clarity and direction.
- Where do you see yourself in the future? Visualize your ideal future and consider the steps needed to get there.
- If money and others' opinions weren't an issue, what would you be doing in the present moment? This thought experiment can reveal your true desires.
- What's one thing you want to achieve in the next month, year, or five years? Setting smaller, actionable goals can build momentum.
Explore your interests and passions
- What are you curious about? Follow your curiosity by taking small steps in directions that interest you.
- What did you enjoy doing as a child? Recalling past interests can sometimes spark new ideas.
- What talents do you have, and how are you using them? Acknowledge your strengths and consider how you can use them to your advantage.
Think about how you care for your body and mind
- Is there anything you need to stop doing, saying no to, or give up? Identifying what no longer serves you may be a crucial part of moving forward.
- Do you just need a break? Sometimes, feeling lost could be a sign that you need rest and time to recharge.
- What things do you enjoy that improve your body? Narrow down types of nutritious foods and ways to move your body that you enjoy.
- Do you have habits that are holding you back? Activities like “doomscrolling,” using drugs or alcohol, or engaging in risky behaviors may serve as unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Reflect on what you’re grateful for
Identifying the things you’re grateful for, no matter how small, can guide you in rediscovering your purpose. If you aren’t sure, start by paying attention to the everyday things. For example, you might be thankful for a sunny day or grateful to the stranger who held the door for you at work. Once you pinpoint these small things, it may become easier to recognize those that play a larger role in your life.
Journaling helps
Journaling is a key tool for self-discovery. As you ponder your questions and reflect on the things you’re grateful for, write down your thoughts and emotional state. Not only can spending time journaling each day help encourage you to find tangible answers to your questions, but it might also offer a safe space to discover, accept, and process your feelings.
The role of self-compassion in self-discovery and purpose
You might feel frustrated with yourself if you’re feeling lost—as if you “should” be doing more with your life or have a tangible goal for “success” (a concept often defined by others). Though it might seem counterintuitive sometimes, letting go of perfectionism and timelines could be a good place to begin when finding your way again.
Additionally, some people dismiss their feelings as invalid or attribute them to self-pity. Try embracing your feelings as valid and offering yourself the same understanding as you would a good friend.
Connect with others to find meaning
Sometimes, the most impactful thing one can do when they feel lost is to reach out and help others. Think about how you can leave the world a little better than you found it, even in small, ordinary ways. Consider volunteering your time or applying your skills for a cause you believe in. Additionally, surround yourself with people who inspire you and devote time and energy to those who matter most. Connecting with your support system can help you feel more grounded and confident when you’re feeling lost.
Practical suggestions for finding your path
Once you’ve engaged in a bit of self-exploration, put the things you’ve uncovered into action. For example, try something new. Learn about something that sparks your interest or will help you accomplish something productive, like traveling or finding a new job. Try to follow your curiosity without self-judgment or overthinking.
Consider setting goals that align with your values and purpose and use these as guiding principles for your actions. As you work toward your goals, you can keep track of your progress in a journal or planner to stay motivated. Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small.
Try to think about the actions you take as a form of self-care, not an obligation to others. Keep in mind that, while there may be some “bumps in the road,” finding your purpose is a journey. Be open to your sense of purpose changing and evolving.
When to seek mental health support in online therapy
It may be challenging to recognize the difference between a passing phase and an issue that requires professional guidance. However, there might be emotional, behavioral, and physical signs, including:
- Feeling sad, anxious, hopeless, or easily angered for an extended period
- Experiencing life as a series of chores and tasks, without any fun or pleasure
- Feeling “stuck” due to past decisions and experiencing significant regret
- Increased irritability, frequent loss of temper, or feeling that your anger is out of control
- Feeling constantly misunderstood or disconnected from others
- Frequent conflicts, communication breakdowns, or difficulty connecting with others
- Avoiding social interaction and withdrawing from activities you once enjoyed
- Using alcohol, drugs, or other coping mechanisms like social media or gambling excessively to deal with stress
- Engaging in actions that harm yourself or your relationships, such as overeating or self-harm
- A significant drop in your work or academic performance
- Difficulty sleeping (insomnia) or oversleeping (hypersomnia)
- Feeling persistently tired, even after rest
- New or worsening physical symptoms that don't have a clear medical cause
Online therapy for rediscovering your path
Whether a person feels lost temporarily because of a significant life change—or their feelings are an ongoing sign of a more serious mental health issue—therapy can offer solutions. However, some may experience barriers to mental health care. For example, some people may think they lack the financial means or the time to fit therapy into their lives. Others might feel uneasy about sharing their most personal thoughts and feelings with a therapist, or they may worry that talking to someone won’t help.
Online therapy can remove many of these obstacles. Therapy through platforms like BetterHelp is often more affordable than traditional treatment without insurance, and for those who qualify, BetterHelp may offer sliding scale fees. Individuals can attend sessions from the comfort and familiarity of home on a schedule flexible enough to fit their needs. Additionally, studies repeatedly reveal that online therapy can be an effective treatment for a variety of mental health issues. For example, one 2023 review of 14 studies found that individuals participating in online therapy for depression and anxiety experienced positive outcomes comparable to those engaged in traditional treatment.
Takeaway
What are the symptoms of being lost?
Most people feel lost at some point in their lives, especially young people. It can happen for many reasons, from a life transition like graduating to a major life change like a breakup or the death of a loved one. Some common signs include feeling overwhelmed by simple tasks, impulsive or risky behaviors, feeling like you’re running on “autopilot,” and disinterest in the future.
How to reconnect with yourself when you feel lost?
There are many different approaches that may be helpful when you feel lost. Some examples include connecting with community, journaling to put words to your feelings and emotions, and reaching out for additional support from a therapist.
Why do I feel lost and alone?
Human beings might come to feel lost and alone for a variety of reasons. It may happen after finishing school and feeling the pressure to move on to big things. It could result from feeling disconnected, like you're doing all the things wrong, or like you're supposed to be successful or happy. Many people will experience one or more periods during the course of their life when they feel lost and alone, so leaning on friends who have been there could help. Another positive first step for navigating this time could be reaching out for support from a mental health professional who could help you figure things out.
How to find purpose when feeling lost?
Tapping into your sense of wonder, such as by learning something new or spending time in nature, could help you when feeling lost. Connecting on a deep level with another human, whether they share your current struggle or not, could also be helpful. Finally, you might try journaling about your feelings and reaching out for mental support.
What to do when you feel lost and unhappy?
If you realize that you've been feeling lost and unhappy, you might start small. For example, you could try journaling about your feelings, reaching out to a friend, or spending quiet time in nature to reconnect with yourself and imagine a brighter future. Reaching out for mental health support from a therapist could also be helpful during this time.
How to stop feeling lost and lonely?
There are many different steps you can take if you're feeling lost and lonely, and these approaches may help you start to feel better little by little. Finding a way to meaningfully connect with other people can be a helpful start. Meeting a friend for a coffee chat about how you both have been feeling or volunteering so you can connect with like-minded individuals are two examples. You might also spend some quiet time reflecting on what's missing and how to move forward. A mental professional like a therapist could help with this process.
How to be ok when you have no one?
Social connection is considered a key component of overall mental and physical wellness. If you do not have any strong social connections, it is possible to form some. Joining a running club, book club, volunteer group, or educational class could be a positive first step toward gradually building connection with like-minded people. Working with a therapist could also help you through this process.
How to find joy in life when depressed?
If you're experiencing symptoms of depression, they typically will not resolve without professional treatment. In addition, cultivating healthy habits like mindfulness, spending time in nature, eating nutrient-rich foods whenever possible, and connecting socially with others may help you find more joy in life.
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