Mental Health And Moving Back Home With Your Parents: Tips For Young Adults

Returning to your childhood home after college or as an adult can be both comforting and challenging for all parties as they adjust to changes in boundaries, family dynamics, identity issues, and others. If you’re making the move back to your parents’ house, you aren’t alone. A 2024 report from the Pew Research Center revealed that 57% of adults ages 18 to 24 live with their parents or parents-in-law. This article examines the various reasons adult children move back home and the challenges involved with the transition. It also offers suggestions for young adults to adapt, live in harmony, and thrive after moving home.

Moving back home can impact your relationships and sense of self

Work through the transition in therapy

Why do young adults move back home? 

The choice to move home is often based on a combination of factors, including financial pressures, personal circumstances, and a desire for increased support and stability. In some cases, the transition can be smooth, especially if there's still room in the house. In others, the transition might be more tumultuous if parents and their grown kids have moved on and embraced a new lifestyle or a smaller living space. 

Moving in to save money as an adult child (and other common financial issues)

Student debt, the high cost of living, soaring home prices, and other financially difficult circumstances are the most common reasons why a person may move home. Though they might ask their adult children to chip in for things like groceries or household items, many parents don't ask their adult children for rent or contributions toward other living expenses. Unemployment plays another role, as do financial emergencies, debt, and a lack of savings. 

Family and relationship circumstances 

In some cases, adult children choose to move home and care for a parent or family member. Physical illness or injury, mental illness, or disability may be a factor. Major life events, like the death of a loved one or major tragedy, may also be involved. Some adults move back home because they need help with the challenges of raising their own children, especially if their children have special needs. 

Other factors for adult children

Some young adults move back to their home city to return to school or take a new job. The end of a relationship can lead to a lack of support and a need to move back home. Health issues or mental health concerns can make it challenging to live independently and require support from family. Some adults may choose to move back home for convenience, proximity to family, and support. 

Fitting back into your childhood bedroom (and other common challenges)

Apart from the logistics of what to do with your belongings, you may face several obstacles when moving home. Generational differences and expectations play a part in many of them. For example, you might have trouble establishing boundaries around and lifestyle. Retaining your identity and independence may be a struggle. Additionally, pressure to keep up with household contributions and financial responsibilities can be a source of conflict.

Societal pressures and the stigma of moving home to save money

While it isn’t the case in every family, moving out and becoming independent tends to be a rite of passage in many Western cultures—and society often has specific expectations for the age at which individuals are expected to move out and establish their own households. As such, moving back home after living independently can carry societal pressures and stigmas. For example, many people view moving back in with one’s parents as a failure to achieve independence or financial success, potentially leading to negative judgments from friends, family, and colleagues. Additionally, individuals may compare their lives to those of their peers who have successfully achieved independence and established careers, particularly via social media.

Common challenges for parents

When it's time to share the family home again, parents experience many of the same challenges as their adult children, including financial stress related to increased expenses. The cost of supporting an adult child can jeopardize a parent's ability to save for retirement, and they may need to take on additional debt or reduce their own spending to accommodate the adult child's needs. 

Empty nesters who have settled into a new lifestyle after their children have moved out might find it challenging to adjust to having their adult child back home. Conflict can arise if boundaries aren't established, or expectations aren't managed. Living together can lead to friction, especially if there are different expectations or communication styles. Such conflicts can leave parents feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or resentful.

Navigating shifting adult-child family dynamics

Returning children might have different expectations and make different lifestyle choices than when they lived at home. There can be clashes in values and priorities, as well as generational differences in how things are done. Additionally, some adult children may revert to “teenager mode” when they move back home and assume they'll receive the same level of support they did as minors. These factors can lead to tension, disagreements, and resentment, but respectful communication and clear boundaries can help parents and adult children live together peacefully.

Tips for adult children moving back home

Moving back in with one’s parents might come with several benefits. For example, moving home can be a significant step toward achieving financial stability. For some, moving back means moving into a warm environment in which they receive the support they need to navigate big life transitions. For others, moving home can offer a chance to work on personal challenges, develop new skills, and gain experience. 

The move might prove to be a happy arrangement for all of you—a significant majority of parents report feeling good about having their children back home. Regardless of your and your parents' attitudes toward moving back, clear communication and respect for each other's expectations, responsibilities, and boundaries can be key to keeping the peace and ensuring your time together is well spent.

H3) Communicate openly and set clear expectations early

To set yourselves up for success, sit down with your parents and discuss household rules and routines as soon as possible. Ask about their expectations regarding shared responsibilities like chores, errands, etc. Also, clarify expectations about financial contributions (if any). To stay aligned, practice active listening and empathy, and schedule check-ins to talk about what's working and what’s not.

H3) Ask your parents to respect your boundaries (and respect theirs, too) 

Part of setting expectations includes being on the same page about personal boundaries. Communicate ground rules regarding topics like curfews, check-ins, and having guests around. You each might have to compromise, but establishing clarity now can eliminate arguments later and help you avoid falling back into “parent/child” dynamics with your mom and dad.

Contribute meaningfully

While living at home, take the initiative and help with regular chores like dishes, yard work, and cleaning without being asked. You might also help with meal prep, errands, and grocery shopping. Keep common areas like the kitchen and living room clutter-free. Finally, show appreciation for your parents’ support and willingness to welcome you back. 

Create a plan for the future

When you come home, sit down with your parents and share your goals. For example, are you planning to save money, get a new job, or return to school? Plan a realistic timeline for these goals and establish benchmarks to keep you on the right track. If your parents are supportive, they might help you stay motivated and accountable to them and yourself. It can be helpful to plan an overarching timeline for when you’ll move back out. Whether it’s six months or six years, you and your parents can prepare in advance. 

Take care of your mental health

On top of such concerns, families must learn to navigate relationship conflicts related to living together again. When unmanaged, the emotional challenges of living at home again can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges in both parents and children.

Mental health tips for young adults moving home

To stay mentally healthy, take good care of yourself physically with plenty of exercise, quality sleep, and nutritious eating habits. Be kind to yourself and avoid self-judgment. Manage stress with meditation, yoga, mindfulness, or breathing exercises. Find ways to stay independent and social, and engage in activities that nourish and bring you joy. If you need support, reach out and confide in trusted friends or family members. 

If you become overwhelmed, seek guidance from a mental health professional who can help you navigate the emotional challenges of living at home while setting and achieving your goals. Advancements in internet-delivered counseling make therapy more accessible, convenient, and affordable than ever. With online therapy, young adults can attend sessions from home on a schedule that fits their needs. Additionally, counseling is often more affordable through online platforms like BetterHelp without insurance—and some users may qualify for further reduced rates depending on their financial situations. 

Research repeatedly shows that online treatment can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression for many people through a variety of modalities, including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance commitment therapy (ACT), mindfulness-based programs, and others. For example, a 2021 review found that online mental health interventions were “effective in managing diverse mental health conditions” for individuals aged 15 to 26 across 45 studies.