What Is The Birth Order Theory?
Everyone comes from families of different sizes. Some people are only children, while others are the eldest, middle, or youngest children. Many believe that one’s birth order can have certain impacts on personality. Understanding birth order theory can help you look at the traits of you and your siblings to see if it applies to your family.
The history of birth order theory
The birth order effect has been observed since the early 20th century. Psychologist Alfred Adler was one of the first psychologists to bring the birth order theory into the mainstream, suggesting that when someone is born and how could influence who they become as adults. He believed that many personality changes could come into effect, depending on one's birth order. For example, the firstborn may be more spoiled or stricter, while the middle child may often feel left out.
Since this time, there have been other contributions to the theory of birth order. Studies have yielded mixed results, and it is difficult to study birth order in isolation, due to all the factors that can influence a child's behavior and development.
Exploring birth order and personality
Below are a few ways birth order has been studied and connected to personality and other traits.
Personality and birth order
Researchers debate whether birth order may have an impact on personality. This topic can be difficult to research scientifically. There are several factors that can play into the development of personality that scientists can’t separate through studies, like environment and temperament.
If a person is born as the last child and has a different personality, psychologists may argue that it could be due to birth order, parenting style, financial privilege, and many other factors. If someone has more children, they may have less money. On the other hand, if parents work in higher-paying jobs, they may have more money to spend on children and their needs. How much money someone has may impact their personality and behaviors.
Birth order and intelligence
Some studies have found that firstborn children may have a higher IQ than the children who follow. However, it can be valuable to consider that many factors can impact intelligence. A first-born child may have fewer children in the home to talk to before the birth or adoption of their siblings. They may instead associate themselves with adults. Siblings can play with each other at home, while only children can only talk to their parents, on most occasions.
Firstborns may have a higher verbal ability as well. However, this may also be due to being associated with adults, as opposed to children who have fewer verbal abilities. However, this idea is up for debate. If a child is told throughout their life that they are inferior, that may have an impact on their performance. If a firstborn is preferred by a parent, they may have more confidence and do better in academics and professional performance later in life.
Birth order and sexuality
Another popular birth order theory is fraternal birth order. This theory claims that if a man has older brothers, there's a higher chance that he will be gay. The number of older brothers increases the likelihood, but by how much is unknown. Some studies claim that an older brother increases the chances by about 30%, while other studies say 15%. There have been other studies that have said that the birth order only accounts for 1/7th of all gay men.
There are no studies on maternal birth order or whether women may be more likely to be lesbians if they have an older sister. For this reason, studies on sexuality are often up for debate. Identity can also be personal, which means it may be up to an individual to decide whether they feel their sexuality is part of a genetic factor or another area of their life.
The only child stereotype
Some people may have heard of stereotypes about children without siblings. They might be called spoiled, entitled, or bratty. If parents do not have any other children to raise, they may focus entirely on their only child. As they don't yet have parenting experience, they may be more permissive. In addition, parents may have more money if they only have one child, spending more money on them.
However, studies indicate there is little truth to the stereotype. Parents may sometimes have high expectations toward their sole child, which can influence their children to grow up to be perfectionists. Sometimes, with fewer children to watch, parents can be stricter and more consistent with rules. However, the dynamics of each family are subjective and not every family with an only child is the same.
Middle child syndrome
Another birth order phenomenon, which isn't a real, diagnosable disorder, is middle child syndrome. As the name implies, it entails the effects a middle child may sometimes feel because of their birth order. The first child may have a strict upbringing, while the youngest child may have a spoiled upbringing, or vice versa. It's sometimes suggested that the middle child gets ignored amid all this chaos, and may feel neglected by their parents.
However, this phenomenon may be purely situational. Some parents treat their children equally, while others do have their favorites, or some adjust their parenting styles over time. Sometimes the middle child is growing up during the transitional period between opposite parenting styles, and this can cause some negative effects.
Is the birth order theory true?
You may have seen a pattern in your family or in other families which confirms some of the suggestions of birth order theory. Yes, there may be some differences in personality, intelligence, or sexuality depending on one's birth order, but the science is conflicting. It is difficult for studies to replicate the same results, as every family is different. If the circumstances change from the birth of the first to the second born, it can affect how the child is raised, thus impacting their personality.
To summarize, the science is still out. We may never fully know the secrets of the birth order, if there are any patterns to be discovered. There is more than likely some impact the birth order has on personality, but how the child is raised makes a more significant impact. Of course, you could say that the birth order has an impact on parenting, so it's a chicken and egg situation that may never be fully hatched. There is also the self-fulfilling prophecy effect. If a parent believes their later children will be more spoiled, then it may happen.
It's hard to say what's caused by birth order and what is not. However, your child's behavior can change as they grow up. If you have some behavior you want to change, then your best choice would be to seek the help of a healthcare professional.
Support for improving your parenting style
Effective parents can raise their children to become well-adjusted individuals regardless of birth order, but parenting is often challenging. Those who want the best out of all their children may benefit from seeking therapy to make sure they're following best practices. There is no shame in having a professional evaluate your skills or make suggestions to help improve your parenting.
Many parents may find online therapy to be an advantageous alternative to in-person therapy, the latter of which is traditionally more costly and time-consuming. Between working, parenting, and nurturing a relationship with one’s partner (if applicable), it can be difficult to find the time to devote to other important priorities! With online therapy platforms like BetterHelp, you can schedule an appointment at a convenient time and in a preferred location – such as your office during a lunch break or at home while your kids are away. Removing the barriers inherent to attending in-person therapy may help a parent feel more receptive to seeking support.
In a pilot-controlled open study, 12 participants participated in a web-based intervention to gauge changes in their levels of psychological flexibility, avoidance, emotional control, parental stress, and coping skills. The results not only affirmed improvements in all of the aforementioned factors but additionally supported positive psychological adjustment in their children. These improvements were achieved over an average span of 64.2 days, with a range of 37 to 100 days. This finding implies that online therapy may help parents achieve more timely results than in-person therapy, which can last for months or even years.
Takeaway
How do you explain birth order?
Birth order theory states that the order in which a person is born relative to their siblings can significantly impact their personality and other developmental traits. Contemporary research has more or less debunked birth order theory, finding that almost no differences are attributable to the order in which a person was born. The only conclusive difference that could be identified was intelligence, where firstborn children exhibited slightly higher scores than other children in the same family. That effect is likely due to increased parental attention in early life, but the differences between siblings were small and likely did not lead to significant adverse effects on the lives of the younger children.
What is an example of birth order in psychology?
Psychological birth order often refers to Alfred Adler’s birth order theory. The theory asserts that birth order positions can significantly impact a person’s development and personality. Adler believed the eldest child would tend toward authoritarian traits and likely desire power. Middle children were considered likely to become even-tempered, adopting a “take it or leave it” attitude. The youngest child was thought to be likely to develop an inferiority complex and may be less emotionally mature due to being spoiled as a child.
Is birth order theory real?
While once a popular theory, birth order research has revealed that Adler’s birth order theory is not widely supported by evidence. While some studies have shown support for the theory, many of those studies had significant limitations that produced weak and inconclusive results. A birth order position and the effect of birth order are typically not generalizable, meaning the research that supports them cannot be used to draw significant conclusions about the general population. Today, birth order theory is commonly referred to as a “zombie theory,” which is a scientific theory that once held support, has been debunked but continues to be circulated as factual information.
How does birth order affect you?
In the past, it was thought that birth order affects a person’s personality, socioeconomic status, intelligence, and other developmental traits. The theory hinged around parental attention and seemed intuitive on first consideration. It suggests that older siblings have more opportunities for parental interaction and attention than later-born children. Parents also have more resources to offer older children, which become strained upon the arrival of younger siblings.
The original theory suggested that the oldest child desired power and authority, while the youngest tended to be insecure and frequently spoiled. Children in the middle were thought to have an even temper and may have trouble fitting in. Today, birth order theory is considered debunked, as it has not been supported by modern scientific research.
Why does your birth order matter?
The research suggests that birth order differences likely do not matter very much. Birth order theory, developed by psychologist Alfred Adler in the mid-20th century, was once considered a promising theory that could impact child development and child psychology. However, early studies were inconclusive, failing to control for other variables besides birth order. Subsequent studies and meta-analyses found that birth order plays little or no role in a person’s personality traits or cognitive development. Today, birth order theory is considered a “zombie theory,” meaning it has been debunked by science but continues to persist because it contains elements that seem intuitively correct.
How does birth order affect relationships?
Very little empirical research has investigated whether birth order affects interpersonal relationships. One study found that birth order had no effect on successful relationships but may have had some impact on unsuccessful relationships. However, that study did have several limitations. It is possible to find opinions speculating on how birth order theory may impact a person’s relationship and family dynamics, but those opinions are likely based on the original theoretical components, which have been debunked by modern research.
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