What To Do When Having No Friends Is Starting to Get To You

Updated June 18, 2021

Medically Reviewed By: Tanya Harell

Secure social connections are key to human well being.  Genuine friendships are key to creating a social connection. Not everyone has a group of friends that they can count on when they’re feeling down. Some people don’t have large families either, and this can lead to individuals feeling like they’re all alone. If you don’t have any friends right now and it’s starting to get to you, then you could be feeling depressed about the current state of your life. It’s normal to feel down from time to time, but you don’t have to let this become your new normal.

There are things that you can do to try to turn things around if you feel like you want to. Having no friends today doesn’t mean that you can’t have friends tomorrow. It’s good to want to try to find a new social circle, and this could help you to enjoy your life more than you currently are. There are also other things that you can do for yourself that will help you to cope with your feelings. Keep reading to learn how you can feel better about your social life by making several positive changes.

Assess Your Situation

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There is likely a reason why you don’t have friends currently, and it probably isn’t something that makes you unusual. Some people don’t have any friends because they moved to a new place and they aren’t comfortable with making new friends. Others have just always been shy by nature, and they don’t like striking up conversations with others. You might have some type of social anxiety disorder that could be preventing you from making social connections with others quickly. This isn’t something that you should determine on your own, but you can talk to your doctor about things if you think that you might have social fears that go beyond just being a bit shy.

It’s usually going to be healthy to assess your situation so that you can see where you’re at. Having no friends is starting to get to you, and you want to turn things around so that you can have the life that you want. This is going to involve honest introspection so that you can make particular changes. Some people recognize that they lack specific social skills when they take the time to think about things. These social skills might not come as naturally to you as they do to others, and you will want to take the time to learn. It’s good to better yourself, and you can get better at things if you feel like you want to pursue this.

Working On Social Skills

Working on social skills can help you to make friends easier. If you get better at talking to others and empathizing with others, then you can find friends who will be able to enrich your life. Most people who have issues with developing social skills are at a loss for where to start when they’re trying to learn. There are actually many resources available to you that can help. You can read books about developing your social skills, and there are also video tutorials online that will take you through how to talk to others.

If your social problems stem from being too nervous to talk to people, then you can also get the help of a skilled therapist. Therapists often help individuals with social issues to work on developing better social skills. This is seen as part of therapy, and it can make it simpler to establish bonds with others. A therapist can recommend things based on getting to know you and understanding how you’re struggling. Sometimes a therapist will be better at helping you through social anxiety because they can see things that you don’t recognize. It would be beneficial to work with a therapist if you feel like you need help.

Trying To Make New Friends

Trying to make new friends can feel a bit awkward at first. This is especially true if you’re a bit older, and you don’t find yourself in typical social situations with people that you don’t know. It’s not uncommon for people to have a hard time making friends once they’re done with school because chances to meet people aren’t as frequent as they used to be. This doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to make new friends or that you need to be intimidated, though. You can make close friends by putting in the effort and seeking out social situations.

Find People With Common Interests

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Perhaps the best advice when it comes to finding new friends is to look for people with common interests. You have things that you enjoy, and most people are passionate about their hobbies. If you can try to find gatherings that are based on things that you’re into, then it should be easier to make friends if you go to those. Of course, this is going to be tough if you have social anxiety, but you can work on things to get to the point where you’ll feel comfortable attending certain events. Someone who loves sports might meet new friends by attending games, and comic book fans might find other like-minded individuals at comic book stores and conventions. If music is your thing, then going to see a band that you like might be an excellent opportunity to meet people.

You have to put yourself out there if you’re going to make new friends. It’s fine to feel a bit nervous, and most people do when they’re talking to new people for the first time. Just know that you will have an easier time talking to people if you know that you have things in common. Seeing someone wearing your favorite band’s shirt is an excellent way to start up a conversation. You can use the things that you have in common to get the conversation rolling, and you just might become friends due to the passions that you share.

Seeking Online Friendship

Developing friendships online is also helpful when you feel the need to reach out to others. It’s still going to be good to make friends that you can hang out with in-person, but having online friends will also be very comforting. Many people make friends by using social media, and sometimes people form deep connections with others that they never wind up meeting face-to-face. Online friendships can be much more profound than many people realize, and you should definitely consider online relationships to be real friendships. Many people make new friends online, and it’s become a totally reasonable way to get to know others.

Joining an online community might help you to meet like-minded individuals. You can enjoy chatting with people online and discussing the things that you love. There are all sorts of online communities, and it’s easy for people to chat about things whenever they have the time. This shouldn’t necessarily be seen as a replacement for seeking out friendships with local people, but it’s good to know that socializing online can also make you feel better. Whether you want to play video games with friends online or if you’re interested in just discussing topics with others on Reddit, it’s going to be better than feeling alone.

Joining A Gym

Joining a gym might be a good way to make friends, too. This could seem a bit unusual at first, but it isn’t strange at all to strike up conversations at the gym with strangers. You could meet one or two people that you’ll connect with if you join a gym and try to go fairly regularly. Also, this will be a good opportunity to work on your physical health, which could make you more confident when talking to other people. Consider joining a gym if you feel like it’s something you would be comfortable with.

Joining A Church Or Religious Group

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If you’re a religious person, then attending church is an excellent way to meet people who share your world views. You can attend church and meet people that are your age. This could be a very natural way to meet people and form friendships. You’re going to sort of have natural friendships with these people due to belonging to the same church or religious group. Of course, if you aren’t religious, this idea isn’t going to apply to your situation. Just know that it’s an option and that you shouldn’t feel obligated to seek out religion because you would like to make friends. It’s just one of many ways that people can make new acquaintances that will eventually deepen into true friendships.

Speak To A Therapist

Speaking to a therapist might be a good idea if you’re really struggling with having no friends. Some people who don’t have a support system in place start to withdraw from society, and they feel like they’re all alone. You don’t need to feel this way, and there will always be people to support you. A therapist can be a source of strength for those who feel down. You can spend time talking about your issues with a therapist, and they can work to get you to a better place in life.

Remember that there are many therapy options available to you as well—some people like going to see therapists at traditional offices. You could also consider online therapy options such as BetterHelp. Online therapy is very convenient, and it allows you to get help from the comfort of your own home at an affordable price. Whatever type of therapy appeals to you the most will be a great option. You’ll always have someone to talk to, and you’ll be able to make progress with your social anxiety issues.

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