Managing The Mental Health Effects Of The Pressure To Look Young

Societal emphasis on youthfulness may create unrealistic standards of aging, contributing to negative impacts on a person’s self-esteem and even leading to fear of aging. According to the 2020 Census Bureau, nearly one in six people in the US is 65 years and older, and this number is expected to increase dramatically in the next few years. Many people, both young adults and aging adults, are influenced to invest in expensive products and even cosmetic procedures to look younger. 

How can you maintain a healthy balance between taking care of your health and accepting the aging process? In this article, we’ll explore aging from a holistic perspective as well as discuss ways to cope with aging.

Why does society place so much value on looking young?

Many cultures may treat youth as a marker of value. Youthfulness is often associated with beauty, productivity, and relevance. In society, youth can be strongly tied to femininity, but men, too, can face this pressure. These ideas are generally reinforced through advertising, entertainment, and social media, making it difficult to escape.

How beauty standards have shifted over time

Beauty standards constantly change, with each era having its own cultural norm. Throughout the decades, fuller figures have been desired to symbolize wealth and health, contrasting with the modern fixation on thinness and youth. This shift demonstrates that these preferences can be shaped by society and culture. In other words, they are changeable.

How the pressure to look young affects women differently

The focus on maintaining a youthful appearance can affect women of all ages, with anti-aging pressure and unrealistic beauty standards being a prominent feature online.

Younger women and early beauty pressure

Social media, filters, and the rise of influencer culture may have created growing pressure on younger women to maintain their youthfulness before they even notice significant age changes. Beauty brands market anti-aging products to tweens and teens, which can have a substantial impact on self-esteem and self-worth. 

Midlife and later adulthood experiences

Later in life, many women can feel that they are under scrutiny for visible signs of aging, such as gray hair and wrinkles. While these are a natural part of life, many women may feel that they are supposed to age gracefully, a phrase that, although it does acknowledge aging, still implies that there is a preferred way to do it.

Cultural and regional perspectives

The pressure to look young is not something that affects only Americans. Expectations vary from one country to the next, but in many places, culture and society still prioritize youth over aging naturally. For example, some research has found that 46% of UK women feel some degree of pressure to maintain a youthful appearance.

The emotional toll of chasing youth

Chasing youth can have profound effects on mental health, impacting not only how people feel about themselves but also how they fit into and contribute to society. This constant pressure can lead to significant emotional strain.

Self-esteem, comparison, and identity

As we age, the constant exposure to youthfulness and other societal beauty standards that can be difficult, if not impossible, to attain can steadily erode self-esteem and feed negative attitudes about one's own appearance. Individuals may come to see their self-worth as tied solely to their appearance, rather than feeling pride in their values, skills, or experience. 

When aging feels like a “bad thing”

The truth is that aging is inevitable, and internalizing the idea that it is such a bad thing that we must hide it or apologize for it can be mentally and emotionally challenging. Pushing back against this belief can help us see that aging is not only natural but it’s also a meaningful and even beautiful part of life.

The role of media, celebrities, and social comparison

Generally, research into how media and social comparison affect people focuses on younger generations, and there is a general lack of research into how media, particularly social media, impacts women in midlife and older age. One recent study from 2024 indicates that social media use negatively impacts the body image of middle-aged and older women. 

This aligns with older studies. For example, a 2015 study that looked into the media's influence on a group of middle-aged women suggests that participants objected to "the negative portrayal of older women in the media and to pressures to conform to a youthful appearance." Other research findings indicate that many older women can be prone to aging anxiety and body dissatisfaction, with some studies suggesting "a significant relationship of aging anxiety to appearance investment in middle-aged women." 

Social media, filters, and unrealistic expectations

Social media can have a profound effect on the pressure to look young. Filters and photo editing apps can make it difficult to tell what is real and what isn’t, normalizing edited versions of reality that don’t exist and creating expectations that may be impossible to meet. The contrast between what people look like in real life and how they appear online can be shocking, and over time, these distorted views can make it difficult to determine what is “normal” and natural and what is not.

The time and effort required to look “young”

Aging is a natural process, and maintaining a youthful appearance can be time-consuming and take a lot of effort. Whether an individual focuses on skin care products or cosmetic procedures to maintain a youthful appearance, these things take time and money, draining resources that could be spent on other endeavors, such as socialization, creativity, or rest.

Cosmetic procedures and the pressure to intervene

As cosmetic procedures become more normalized and widely available, the pressure to intervene can be challenging to resist, even for those who aren’t sure they want to.

Plastic surgery and cosmetic treatments

The decision of whether or not to have plastic surgery or other cosmetic procedures is a personal one that many factors can influence. Some people may view these interventions as empowering, while others may see them as an act in an attempt to meet societal standards. Individual motivation varies and can be quite complex. 

Making informed, autonomous choices

Being able to approach these decisions with honesty and without judgment can help people make choices that improve their well-being. It can be helpful to acknowledge that procedures like these are optional and that it is acceptable to age naturally. 

When deciding whether or not to pursue these interventions, it may be beneficial to consider the risks, benefits, and motivations. When these decisions are made without regard for external pressure and are instead grounded in thoughtfulness and self-trust, individuals may be more likely to choose what genuinely aligns with their values.

Redefining beauty and self-care as you age

Research indicates that a person's "subjective age" may impact health and longevity. In other words, feeling younger may actually influence longevity. However, feeling younger in this context generally lies in cultivating habits that promote health, longevity, and wellness. While nutritious eating habits, regular exercise, and practices like mindfulness meditation and yoga may be beneficial for the body, the focus should typically be on a holistic approach to aging and wellness. 

Self-care that supports mental and physical health

The truth is that prioritizing self-care rather than appearance can help you feel good about aging. The National Institute of Aging recommends the following evidence-based suggestions for aging well:

• Engaging in physical activity, including aerobic, strength-training, balance, and flexibility exercises 
• Cultivating meaningful social relationships, as they can foster emotional, physical, and cognitive health
• Learning something new, such as a new language
• Spending time on a fulfilling hobby, such as playing the guitar, writing, gardening, playing chess, crafting, or cooking
• Keeping your mind engaged, perhaps by going to museums, the theater, or taking a class on a subject that interests you
• Volunteering for an organization that endorses causes in which you believe
• Eating healthily by emphasizing nutrient-rich foods 
• Drinking alcohol in moderation, if at all
• Developing a routine that promotes sleeping through the night for seven to nine hours 
• Managing stress levels
• Speaking to a therapist if you are experiencing mental health challenges

Building a healthier relationship with your body

There are many strategies you can try if you want to resist the pressures of looking ageless while embracing the natural aging process and feeling comfortable in your own skin. Some different ways you can cope with aging include:

• Look for role models: Find people, whether celebrities or people you encounter, who seem to be comfortable with the aging process. Be receptive to what they have to say. Observe their confidence and aim to learn their views on aging gracefully.
• Avoid comparing yourself to others: Aim to avoid comparing yourself to others, especially younger people. This may include yourself when you were younger. 
• List features that you like about yourself: Notice the features you like about yourself and emphasize them.
• Update your style: Consider making changes that reflect your personal style and the stage of life in which you find yourself. Choosing a new style might signal to yourself that things have changed, and you're more than okay with that. 
• Focus on your mental, physical, and emotional health: Foster a holistic approach to health and aging by taking part in activities, attitudes, and practices that align with your values and goals. 
• Find a community: Aim to cultivate relationships with people who also have respect for and acceptance of the aging process.

The role of relationships and community

Relationships can play a powerful role in how people experience, understand, and appreciate aging. The community one surrounds themselves with can either reinforce fears of aging or help to normalize it.

Talking openly with friends and family

Making an effort to talk with friends and family about aging, as well as the unrealistic expectations that are prominent online and in the media, can help reduce the stigma surrounding it.

Modeling healthy attitudes for children

Attitudes toward aging are often learned early. As previously mentioned, some brands are marketing skin care products to teens and tweens, and children pick up on things the adults around them say about their bodies and growing older. If adults shift the conversation to one of acceptance, younger generations (and society in general) may begin to see aging as a natural part of life rather than something to be avoided.

When the pressure becomes overwhelming

The pressure to look young or appear a certain way can have profound impacts on mental health. 

Signs the pressure is affecting your well-being

Some signs that the pressure to look young may be affecting your well-being can include

• Persistent negative attitudes about aging or your appearance
• Low self-esteem 
• Frequently comparing yourself to others, either in person or online
• Spending excessive resources on anti-aging procedures and products
• Feeling guilt or shame about your changing appearance
• Obsessively monitoring or tracking your appearance
• Avoiding mirrors or taking photos of yourself

How therapy can help challenge aging anxiety

Therapy can help individuals examine their fears of aging and determine where those beliefs originated. A professional therapist can help you reframe any distorted versions of reality and reconnect your identity and values to something beyond your appearance. In time, therapy can help with growth and understanding that aging is natural and not something to feel shame or guilt about.

Getting support through BetterHelp

It can be challenging to make changes to foster mental health and self-esteem on your own. If you sense that you might benefit from the support of a therapist, you may want to consider online therapy through BetterHelp. 

Talking with a therapist about aging, identity, and self-worth

A therapist can help you navigate complicated feelings about self-worth and identity and examine how fears of aging can impact growth and distort reality. Many people interested in working with a professional find online therapy to be a convenient and affordable option. A platform like BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed therapist by phone, video, or online chat. Most people are matched with a provider within 48 hours, and you can change therapists at any time for no fee until you find the right fit.

A 2023 study suggested that therapist-guided internet-delivered cognitive behavior therapy (ICBT) could be an effective treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), both of which may involve challenging thought processes and emotions around the concepts of aging and appearance.