Grief Brain: Why You Can't Think Straight After Loss

Grief brain refers to the symptoms some people experience after the loss of a loved one. These symptoms, which are usually temporary, include brain fog, forgetfulness, and trouble concentrating. 

Grief brain is a real, natural response to loss, and not a sign that something is wrong with someone. 

What is grief brain?

Grief brain isn’t a clinical diagnosis but a term used to describe the symptoms and emotional response that may come with acute grief. 

It’s common for people in the grieving process to experience mental fog, memory lapses, or difficulty concentrating. 

During intense grief or complicated grief, activity in parts of the brain involved in attention and emotional regulation, including areas of the prefrontal cortex, may be disrupted. This may help explain why some people feel like they can’t think while they feel grief.

This experience can occur in the early stages of grief after receiving the upsetting news and can be associated with emotional numbness, your brain’s way of trying to defend you from being overwhelmed. Prolonged grief may cause chronic stress, which affects both mental and physical health in different ways. A grieving person may notice that this stress affects their brain function, mood, and everyday life. 

How does grief affect the brain?

Grief brain can be a response to significant loss or trauma.  After something traumatic happens, like the loss of a loved one, the brain can create connections between nerves while strengthening or weakening existing connections. 

This essentially rewires the brain to adapt to the new reality and cope with the situation at hand. Chronic stress, like that which may come from prolonged grief disorder, triggers the same kind of stress response that people experience during stressful situations, and becomes more persistent the longer the stress continues. 

This stress response may then disrupt the parts of the brain that affect functions like memory, decision-making, attention, verbal fluency, and the speed at which it may process new information. Typically, these changes improve as the intensity of grief and stress decrease over time. 

Common signs of grief brain

• Trouble concentrating: A person may have difficulty focusing on tasks that once felt easy, like reading a book or replying to emails. The attention span may shorten or become disrupted, so people may feel unable to focus on simple activities. 
• Memory lapses: A person may forget appointments, conversations, or where everyday items were placed. Since the brain is focused on the loss, other priorities may seem less important and may be easily forgotten.
• Trouble sleeping: Intense grief and its accompanying symptoms may disrupt rest, which can compound the grief fog and fatigue that comes with it.
• Emotional overwhelm: A person may feel flooded by emotion and feel like their brain is moving in slow motion. This may make it especially hard to make decisions.

How long does grief brain last?

Everyone experiences grief differently, and there is no set timeline for how long it lasts. However, most people feel the most intense symptoms within six to 12 months of the loss of a loved one. Even after this period, grief and its intense symptoms may come in waves. If still present around 18 months after the loss, most people start to feel the effects of grief fog gradually lessen.

People going through the grief trajectory may find it hard to think, sleep, or go through the motions of everyday life.

Some people find that grounding strategies may help get them through the feeling of this grief brain. Activities like writing things down, simplifying daily routines, and learning how to be more patient with oneself may help make life easier. 

It’s also okay to lean on others for support. Turning to family, close friends, or another support system may help people feel less alone and burdened. Having a community may also help with some practical tasks, like remembering appointments or making decisions, at a time when everything feels overwhelming. 

Therapy may be a powerful tool to help people navigate the grieving process. However, according to a BetterHelp survey, 32% of people say that they don’t use therapy as a tool due to time constraints. Online therapy is addressing that obstacle. 

Online therapy, like BetterHelp, allows people to speak to a mental health professional who may help them work through their grief on their schedule from the comfort of their own home. Being able to access therapy from a comfortable place at a convenient time often makes speaking to a therapist easier and less intimidating or stressful.

When should someone consider talking to a professional about grief brain?

Talking to a professional may help people get through the grieving process, especially if they feel like their symptoms aren’t improving. If your grief brain doesn’t ease up over time, it may start to interfere with work, social relationships, and everyday functioning.

Grief is a normal process, but some people experience prolonged grief disorder (PGD), also known as complicated grief. PGD involves intense, persistent grief that continues well beyond the initial period of bereavement and causes significant distress or difficulty functioning. In adults, PGD is diagnosed only when symptoms persist for at least 12 months after the loss.. People who experience PGD may:

• Feel emotionally numb or intense pain
• Avoid reminders that their loved one is gone, or don’t believe they’re gone
• Feel like part of them died and life no longer has meaning
• Have extreme difficulty moving forward with life

If some of these symptoms feel familiar, seeking help from a licensed therapist may be an option. A mental health professional may help people distinguish between typical grief and PGD, and work through the stages of grief at their own pace. Some people may never feel like the same person after a loss, but they may learn how to move forward and cope in healthy ways.

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Text or call 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Support is available 24/7.

Therapy may be an option for people going through grief fog or PGD when they’re ready. While it may be a useful tool, no one should feel pushed into therapy due to fear or urgency. Embarking on a healing journey is highly personal and unique to each person.