Everyday Tips For How To Boost Your Self-Eesteem

Medically reviewed by Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSW
Updated April 1, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

The term "self-esteem" is ubiquitous in the world of mental health and well-being, as self-esteem can play a significant role in our health for good reason.  Among other things, our self-esteem can shape our perceptions, influence our choices, and ultimately define how we navigate the world, and more. Self-esteem can affect our relationship with ourselves, as well. When you have high self-esteem, you'll be more inclined to maintain it by practicing solid self-care. On the other hand, lower self-esteem can result in a variety of issues, including lack of self-care and negative thoughts about yourself if you don't, self-care might take a backseat, resulting in a variety of mental and physical health issues. 

Understanding the nature of self-esteem, knowing whether we have high enough self-esteemof it, and figuring out how to cultivate it can be largely essential, but it can be tricky. In this post, we'll discuss self-esteem, why it's so important, and how to effectively boost yours. 

A woman in a striped shirt holds a mirror and a lipstick while gazing off with a soft smile.
Getty/byryo
Need a self-esteem boost?

What is self-esteem? 

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines self-esteem as "a confidence and satisfaction in oneself." However, self-esteem often has different meaningsmeans different things between people and can change with circumstances. For example, for some, physical appearance is the most critical influence on self-esteem. For others, their skills or accomplishments largely determine their self-image and self-worth. 

However, the disadvantage of relying entirely on outside factors like these to dictate our level of self-esteem is that we don't always have control over them. When unexpected events happen or our plans don’t work outthings don't go as anticipated, it can leave us feeling less confident and capable than we truly are. This is why it can be helpful's essential to establish a healthy definition of self-esteem that fits you. Some examples of what balanced, healthy self-esteem might look like include:

  • The ability to find ways to endure stress and cope with challenges effectively.
  • Confidence in one's decision-making abilities.
  • A balanced ability to assertively express one's needs and point-of-view.
  • The ability to establish honest, secure relationships.
  • The strength to end unhealthy relationships when necessary.
  • Maintaining realistic expectations of one's abilities and achievements without overcriticizing oneself or others.
  • The ability to accept compliments comfortably and with gratitude. 

Why is self-esteem important?

There is a vast body of research on the importance of self-esteem and how it benefits us. For example, one recent paper published in the American Psychologist Journal reviewed the results of hundreds of individual studies and meta-analyses, consistently finding that healthy self-esteem has positive impacts on our relationships, school and work performance, mental health, physical health, and antisocial behavior across all ages, genders, and races/ethnicities. Healthy self-esteem can also help fortify our resilience in the face of challenges and help reduce the risk of chronic disease.

A man in a yellow shirt holds a cellphone while smiling at the camera.
Getty/Jacob Wackerhausen

Strategies for boosting your self-esteem

Boosting self-esteem can be a gradual process that involves adopting positive habits and changing negative thought patterns, so it's important to be patient with yourself and celebrate your successes along the way. Here are some strategies to help improve your self-esteem:

Accept yourself and practice self-Compassion

Our self-esteem can lower when we put expectations on ourselves to be perfect. The culture we live in today often contributes to these pressures, especially when we're constantly comparing our lives to those we see on social media. 

It's important to remember that no one is perfect, and attempting to match impossible standards of perfection can severely hurt our self-esteem. Appreciate yourself as you are and allow yourself to make mistakes without self-judgment or criticism. Treat yourself with understanding and kindness, just as you would a friend. 

Practice positive self-talk and affirmations

Identify your strengths and the things that make you proud of yourself, then remind yourself of them regularly. This can be in the form of repeating positive affirmations in the mirror every morning or leaving yourself positivet-it notes around the house. 

Set realistic goals and celebrate your achievements

Most of us have goals and things to do and tasks to complete in our daily lives, whether at work, home, school, or anywhere else we're needed. You can capitalize on these to set yourself up for success and strengthen your self-esteem by making those goals more achievable. You might break them down into smaller tasks and celebrate each milestone along the way, or set a realistic date and aim to have it all completed by then— whatever works for you, as long as you take time to celebrate your accomplishments.

Keep a journal

Journaling can be a helpful way to stay in touch with your self-esteem. Use your journal to record what things you're grateful for, celebrate daily successes, eliminate negative self-talk, and challenge negative thoughts. Not only will this uplift you at the moment, but it's an excellent resource to revisit your journal entries when you need a confidence boost. 

Surround yourself with positive influences

Spend time with people who uplift and support you, and distance yourself from people who bring negativity into your life. Positive relationships and a robust support system can help you through difficult times, remind you of your strengths, and join you in celebrating your successes.

Take care of your physical health

Experts commonly accept that our mental and physical health are closely linked, and taking care of our bodies is vital for our overall well-being. You can strengthen your mood and self-esteem by eating a healthy, balanced diet and getting plenty of quality rest.  

A growing body of research suggests that, of all the ways we can care for our physical health, exercise might be the most impactful to build confidence and improve self-esteem. When adopting an exercise routine, do activitiesthings that bring you pleasure and make you feel good about yourself. Physical activity can significantly boost self-esteem and self-confidence, whether it's a high-intensity workout, a walk in the park, or mindful tai chi. 

A woman in a grey shirt dances in her living room while smiling and wearing white headphones.
Need a self-esteem boost?

Self-esteem and mental health 

It's natural to feel unsure of ourselves or feel down sometimes, but typically, these feelings pass and don't necessarily have a significant impact when we have healthy self-esteem. In this way, low self-esteem isn't simply having a bad day; it's a chronic state of mind that stays with us most of the time in varying degrees, regardless of the circumstances. 

Over time, this level of poor self-esteem can lead to more serious mental health challenges. For example, clinical studies show that low self-esteem is often associated with depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. It's also a risk factor for eating disorders.

If you or a loved one are having suicidal thoughts, reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. Help is available 24/7.  

While low self-esteem can lead to various problems, help is available. If you are struggling to improve your self-esteem on your own using the tips above, you can reach out to a therapist for help. Through therapeutic methods like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a therapist can guide you in learning to recognize self-esteem issues, isolate the negative beliefs associated with them, and reframe them into more positive, realistic, and useful thoughts and beliefs. Therapists trained in CBT can also teach you to develop the tools you need to cope confidently with and overcome life's challenges. 

Although therapy can be highly effective for boosting self-esteem, barriers exist that might make it challenging for some to get help. For example, not everyone has access to a therapist in their area, or because of scheduling conflicts, the commute to and from an office is unrealistic. Some people feel uncomfortable talking to a therapist in person or have concerns. Still, others might feel they can't afford therapy or it wouldn't work for them. 

Online therapy provides a solution to obstacles like these. Platforms like BetterHelp match clients with licensed, experienced therapists trained in CBT. You can speak to a counselor from home at a time that suits your schedule via video chat, online messaging, or phone. 

Online therapy is often less expensive than traditional therapy without insurance, and a large body of research indicates that it's just as effective as conventional, in-office CBT for treating a variety of mental health issues, including self-esteem challenges.

Takeaway

While it's a popular term in the realm of mental health and wellness, the concept of self-esteem can be highly complex. It isn't always easy to recognize within oneself, particularly when we've experienced low self-esteem for a long time or, indeed, our whole lives. Additionally, what it means to have low self-esteem is often a highly personal matter with varying levels of continuity. 

However, consistent feelings of poor self-esteem can interfere with how we function in daily life and may lead to mental health conditions like depression and anxiety. In such cases, it can be crucial to seek assistance from a mental health professional who can evaluate your symptoms and provide a formal diagnosis. 

Through therapeutic methods like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a therapist can guide you in learning to recognize self-esteem issues, isolate the negative beliefs associated with them, and reframe them into more positive, realistic, and useful thoughts and beliefs. Therapists trained in CBT can also teach you to develop the tools you need to cope confidently with and overcome life's challenges. 

Although therapy can be highly effective for boosting self-esteem, barriers exist that might make it challenging for some to get help. For example, not everyone has access to a therapist in their area, or because of scheduling conflicts, the commute to and from an office is unrealistic. Some people feel uncomfortable talking to a therapist in person or have concerns. Still, others might feel they can't afford therapy or it wouldn't work for them. 

Online therapy provides an excellent solution to obstacles like these. Platforms like BetterHelp match clients with licensed, experienced therapists trained in CBT. You can speak to a counselor from home at a time that suits your schedule via video chat, online messaging, or phone. 

Online therapy is often less expensive than traditional therapy without insurance, and a large body of research indicates that it's just as effective as conventional, in-office CBT for treating a variety of mental health issues, including self-esteem challenges.

Remember that building self-esteem is an ongoing process— allowing yourself to progress at your own pace without pressure and self-criticism is essential. If you're struggling with persistent negative thoughts of low self-worth, reaching out to a BetterHelp therapist can be the first step on the path toward cultivating and maintaining stronger self-esteem.  

Learn to strengthen your mental health
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet started