How To Be Single And Thrive: Tips For Better Mental Health
From carefully curated social media feeds to couples-only events, it can seem like everywhere you look, relationships are seen as the “ideal.” Despite society’s progress, much of our mediaeven the most feminist rom-com may still sends the message that everyone should aspire to be in a relationship.
This social perception of being single can be isolating. In fact, in a series of studies from 2019, researchers found that prejudice toward single people was seen as more socially acceptable than prejudice toward other groups. There’s even a word for it: “singlism,” which describes how people may be treated differently when they aren’t in a relationship.
This can make not having a partner feel discouraging, but the idealization of romantic relationships doesn’t have to leave you feeling completely disposable. There may be benefits to being single, and a few simple strategies may help you make the most of the single life while taking care of your mental health.
Mental health considerations of being single
It can be helpful to remember that, despite society’s norms, being single can have a range of benefits for your mental, physical, and emotional health. Some examples include:
A healthier lifestyle
According to a 2015 study of over 4,000 people across Europe, married people had a higher overall BMI than those who had never been married. This may be because singlehood allows more time for physical activity, which can help with weight management, improve brain health, and reduce the risk of illness.
Deeper non-romantic relationships
Having a variety of meaningful relationships may benefit your health, life satisfaction, and ability to manage challenges. But while a partner can be an important fixture in your daily life, you may be less likely to spend time on your other relationships when you’re part of a couple. Being single can offer a chance to strengthen your connections with the other important people in your life.
Chances for self-discovery: It can be natural to fall into a routine when you’re in a relationship, but this may limit your ability to get to know yourself. Being single can be a chance to explore your interests and goals. Enjoying sex, going on casual dates, and forming connections with new people while single may also be a way to figure out what you’re looking for romantically.
Lower stress: While the right relationship can be a source of support and joy, the wrong one may hurt your well-being. Disagreements, conflicting goals and values, and the pressure to maintain a relationship are all potential stressors that can be avoided when you’re single. Being able to have your own bed, manage your own diet, and prioritize your own schedule may also improve your stress levels—and your general well-being.
That said, being mindful of your mental health can still be important when you’re not in a relationship, especially if you live alone. This is because social isolation may lead to negative side effects, such as:
- Loneliness
- Increased stress
- Anxiety and depression
- Lack of motivation
- Trouble sleeping
- Trouble focusing
- Substance misuse
With all this in mind, we can see the importance of approaching singlehood the right way. This may make it possible to reap the rewards while avoiding potential pitfalls.
How to be single and thrive
So, how can you make the most of being single without compromising your mental health? You may not have to make drastic changes to your life. Instead, consider the following strategies:
Maintain social connections: Without a romantic interest, it can be especially important to make sure you’re not becoming too socially isolated. Try looking for non-romantic ways to socialize. If you haven’t connected with old friends in a while, consider reaching out to get back in touch. You can also look for interaction in other ways, such as finding a roommate, joining a hobby group, or going out for coffee with a co-worker.
Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself physically can be good for your overall well-being. Physical exercise may lower levels of stress hormones and produce feel-good chemicals like endorphins. Eating a healthy diet, practicing good hygiene, and getting regular medical exams can also contribute to your general wellness. Beyond the physical, consider taking up a creative hobby, practicing meditation, or reading to stimulate your mind.
Focus on other goals: Whether you’re simply not interested in a relationship or you’re hoping to find one eventually, it can help to have other priorities besides just finding a partner. When you’re single, you may have more time and energy to pursue your goals. Have you always wanted to visit New York City? Consider booking a trip. Interested in writing a book? Try using your time alone to get started. Focusing on non-romance goals can encourage personal growth.
Be mindful of media: Media portrayals of singlehood are often full of stereotypes, like male characters immersing themselves in one-night stands and female characters being “married to their careers.” But this can negatively affect how you view yourself. Social media can also cause a distorted view of singlehood by encouraging unhealthy comparisons with others. It can help to set healthy boundaries around your media consumption to stay focused on your own experiences.
Get help if you need it: Being single can be hard, especially if you find yourself facing loneliness, anxiety, or depression as a result of not having a partner. While being proactive about your mental health can help, sometimes you may want extra support as you adjust to the single life. Working with a therapist may help you find strategies for managing loneliness and get clarity about what you want—both from relationships and from life.
That said, if the challenges of being single are causing you depression or anxiety, you may notice symptoms like fatigue and low motivation. These may make it hard to leave the house for in-person therapy. Online therapy platforms let you see a therapist from the comfort of your own home, potentially making them an easier alternative.
Studies have found that online therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy for treating mental illnesses that may be linked to loneliness. For example, in 2018, researchers reviewed 20 studies to compare the effectiveness of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) delivered in-person and online. They found that online therapy was just as effective as in-person therapy for treating anxiety and depression.
Takeaway
Society tends to idealize romantic relationships, which can make it discouraging to be single. However, there may be benefits to not having a partner, from deeper relationships to more chances for self-discovery. Strategies like self-care, focusing on your own goals, socializing, and seeking therapy may all help you make the most of the single life while protecting your mental health.
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