How To Find A Good Man To Be Your Partner
By Toni Hoy
Updated February 06, 2020
Reviewer Laura Angers
The definition of a good man for one person may not be the same as your definition. But what if you don't know exactly what you're looking for? How do you figure out how to find a good man to be your partner? This article has a few tips for narrowing down the right kind of man for you.
Start with a checklist
Some people are for the potential partner checklist and some are against it. However, you need to have some idea of the qualities you want in a partner before you go out looking for one. After all, how can you find something if you don't know what you're looking for? Don't find your life partner like they're a splurge purchase at the checkout lane. Most people are not satisfied with those random finds.
A potential partner doesn't have to be perfect and they don't have to meet every criterion on your perfect list because, let's be honest, sometimes we are wrong about what we thought we wanted. Here are some things to think about though:
- Does religion or spirituality matter to you and do their beliefs need to line up with yours?
- Is it important that they share certain hobbies with you and what are those?
- Are certain personality traits deal breakers for you?
- What are their career goals and how much do they matter to you?
- Do they share your financial ideas and if not, will that be a problem?
How to find a good man
Now take a look at that list of things you may want to consider in finding a good man. Some of them can actually help lead you to places where you may find the partner you are looking for. You see, if certain characteristics are important to you, you may have luck finding the right kind of person at places or events associated with those things.
Are you looking for someone of a certain religion? Attend spiritual events. You want to get to know someone who enjoys board games? Check out the board game nights at your local comic shop.
Important signs to look for
Once you've met someone and are considering whether he/she is a good match, look at more than the superficial things like whether they enjoy the same music as you or say they have similar goals. Goals don't matter if the person has no motivation to reach them. Here are the big things to look for on your first few dates.
Watch how the guy treats other people. If he flies off the handle because you have to wait for a table at the restaurant or acts like a jerk to the waiter because he doesn't get exactly what he wants, you could be in for a relationship with a man who is emotionally a child. You don't want to be in that situation.
Careers are important to people's happiness and identity. Someone who complains about their job all the time is often a miserable person to be around, and it's a sign that they don't take steps to improve their life. If he's been at a job he hates for many years, he lacks motivation in his life and is unlikely to be a good life partner.
By the second or third date, you may want to be checking whether the two of you share relationship goals to see if this could go somewhere deeper than friendship. Does he want to commit to one person right now? Does he have the time to put in the level of attention you want, or does he have other commitments or spend too much time on work? Openly discuss what you expect and what he expects.
You should hold high expectations for the person you intend to share your life with. If you consistently end up dissatisfied with where your romantic relationships end up, you may want to talk to a professional who can help you pinpoint what's really important to you.