How To Stop Talking About Things That Don’t Matter

Updated January 11, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Do You Struggle To Find Meaning In Your Daily Life?

Tap Into Your Passions

Somehow, our culture has been steeped with the concept that life isn't meant to be fun. What more to life is there than radically enjoying each moment to the utmost? Founded on the tenets of certain strict beliefs, much of western society is built around the constructs of puritanical asceticism and tradition. This is steeped so deeply into our culture that it blinds us to the existence of alternative lifestyles and careers. What would the world look like if everyone were tapping into their true selves?

We structure even our clothes based on what is socially acceptable, with modesty—no shoes, no shirt, no service is a commonly accepted construct. Where would we all be if these maladaptive constructs were to melt away? When you learn how to stop talking about inconsequential things and focus on your purpose and interests, you can begin your own personal renaissance.

The things that you find important and stimulating can and will be different from others. Meaning is in the eye of the beholder, so find the things that make you excited to be alive. While we all vary on many measures, there are inevitably those that have common differences. Seeking out those who have your common interests and understand your motivations can help revitalize your interest in life and give you the opportunity for self-discovery and mutual growth.

Take advantage of the resources that you have at your disposal and think of ways in which you can take part of work that is meaningful to you, while also earning a living. Everyone is uniquely gifted in different ways, with their strengths and weaknesses playing into the colorful person that they are. Spending time to identify your inclinations and cognitive or physical strengths can help you to find how you most want to spend your life.

What We Cannot Control

On the other hand, there are many things that we do not have any control over, and those are the things that we need to let go of and not worry about. For instance, you cannot control how other people behave. No matter how hard you may try, even if you are right and they are wrong, you cannot make anyone act like you want them to. Even if it is your own child, you can tell them how you want them to behave and even punish them for not doing it, but you cannot actually make someone act a certain way.

Similarly, you also cannot control how other people feel. You may be trying to convince someone that they do not need to worry about something that they cannot control, but you are actually doing the same thing by trying to control how they feel. You cannot make someone feel a certain way, cannot relax someone just by telling them to relax, and cannot make someone happy, if they are not already, just by telling them to be happy. Although it is okay to talk to others about their feelings, trying to convince them to feel or not feel a certain way is not okay and will not work no matter how much you want it to.

You cannot control the weather, time, or the past. Wouldn't it be nice if we could go back and change things from the past—the mistakes we made or things we said? Or make it stop raining and become sunny and beautiful outside, so you can go out for a walk or whatever you want to do? And it would really be great if we could slow down time when we are having a good day, and speed up time when we are looking forward to something. However, you cannot do any of these things, so it’s usually best to stop worrying and/or talking about it.

Taking Steps Towards Anxiety Relief

There can come a time when you start to feel as if you don't have appropriate channels for your energy, which can lead you to experience distress and frustration, as you get further trapped in negative thought patterns. Taking advantage of the resources out there, including mental health tools, can help you connect with affordable and specific mental health care. Experiencing insights that come with a fresh mindset can truly be life-changing, and speaking to a mental health professional can be one way to achieve this. How we talk to ourselves can have a resounding impact on our moods, behavior, and physical comfort. Working to improve and brighten your self-talk can be one major point of focus for many people.

Talking to someone about your feelings is fine, but if you are busy worrying and talking about things that do not matter or that you cannot control, you might not be able to relax. Letting go of what you are unable to change is important because these things will just weigh you down and take away your happiness, while making you anxious at the same time. With therapy, you can talk to a mental health care expert who is experienced in handling all types of mental and emotional health concerns. There are also quite a few support groups with people who have the same or similar issues as you. Talking to others who experience your problems can be extremely helpful.

Take A Deeper Look

Fulfilling a basic level of comfort is all a part of the story when it comes to maintaining productivity over time. Many of the greatest accomplishments in life are a product of making small increments every day. Everyone has aptitudes, with certain routines and habits helping them to be their most productive and comfortable. Take time to identify the themes in your life, specifically keeping an eye out for the things that bring you joy. This can be as simple as your eating schedule, when and under what circumstances you work best, or what snacks or drinks make you feel your best.

Another way to help you stop concentrating on things that don't matter is by concentrating on things that do matter. Think more about being happy by doing things that you love to do, and spending time with those whom you most enjoy interacting. Concentrate more on being healthy and relaxed. Get the exercise you need and eat better food. Hang around with people who are positive and make you feel good—because being around negative people who bring you down is not good for your health, mentally and physically.

Finding Meaning With BetterHelp

Do You Struggle To Find Meaning In Your Daily Life?

Research shows that online therapy can help those living with anxiety or similar mental health issues find meaning in life and eliminating extraneous distractions. In a study published in Current Opinion in Psychiatry, researchers stated that online platforms are effective in treating anxiety, noting specifically the benefits of online cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). Cognitive-behavioral therapy works by replacing unhelpful thoughts—such as those related to distracting or trivial subjects—in those experiencing mental health issues. The study outlines several advantages of online therapy over in-person counseling, including incognito, lower cost, and accessibility.

As discussed above, if you’re feeling complicated emotions associated with finding meaning or purpose in life, online therapy can help. Simply send a message when you’re having trouble coping, want to ask a question, or simply want to chat, and they will respond as soon as possible. The licensed mental health professionals at BetterHelp can guide you through treatment that will help you manage unhelpful factors in your life. Read below for counselor reviews, from those who have experienced similar issues.

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