How To Talk To A Guy With Ease - Talk With A Boy You Like

By Robert Porter|Updated October 5, 2022
It can be difficult to approach a guy you have a crush on or feel attracted to. Once you recognize that you're interested and like them, you may get nervous that you might make a bad impression. Even so, approaching someone who you want to get to know or spend more time with doesn't have to be stressful. It can be easy, fun, and even feel natural. Here's some advice on ways of speaking to someone you like the easy way.

Tips To Talk With A Guy Or Boy You Like

Tip #1: No expectations

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Trying To Find The Right Things To Say To That Special Guy?

How To Talk To A Guy: When you're preparing yourself to talk to a guy you're interested in and you're not sure how you want to talk to a guy, are you afraid you’re going to blow it? It's understandable that you want to make a good impression. Instead of focusing on how to make good impression with a guy, try and focus on getting to know the person you're interested in and having fun.

If you go into the conversation without expectations, then you're less likely to have hurt feelings if things don't go as planned. When we plan for things and create a scenario of how they should go when we talk with a guy, we become quickly disappointed if the reality is different than how we had hoped. Having fewer set expectations sets us up for success and helps diminish disappointment. Think of it this way, if you have no expectations of him asking you out, then you won't be upset if he doesn't; however, if he does ask you out, then you'll have received more than you were expecting.

Tip #2: Remember What Is Important To You

What is the most important thing you should look for when initially trying to establish how to create a "more than friends" relationship with someone? Your happiness!

Although one of the keys to a successful relationship is looking out for your partner's happiness, you first need to make sure they are worthy of your time. So first, make sure that you are happy with this person before worrying about whether they are happy with you. Both sides should feel like they would benefit from the relationship, without one person bending over backward or being a "doormat."

Happiness in a relationship is not about being in a relationship with someone, it is about being happy with how you are when you are with them. Does this guy support and encourage you to be the best version of yourself, or are you settling for a mediocre person and accepting whatever this guy is willing to give to you? If he is not supporting you emotionally on the road to being the best version of yourself, then maybe he is not the right partner for you.

Tip #3: Friendly Reminder: Don't Forget To Be Yourself

You've probably heard this advice repeatedly, yet many relationship seekers continue to ignore it and sculpt an "ideal self" to display during the early period of getting to know someone. Unfortunately, that is one of the worst things you can do when starting a relationship because it leads to false expectations from both partners. When your true self starts to show through, as it eventually will, you may find that you have invested time and energy into a relationship that's not mutually enjoyable. This is also related to the point in tip number two—you will only be happy if you can be yourself in your close relationships.

Sometimes it can be difficult to be your true self if you do not have a grasp on who you are. That is perfectly okay. However, you probably have a good idea of the type of person you are at heart. Some questions to ask yourself would be: What do I enjoy doing for fun? What qualities are important to me in a relationship? What do I value most in a person? Who do I want to be when I "grow up?”

If you can answer a few of those questions, you will have a better idea of the type of person you are, and what you would like in a relationship. If you love to go dancing and attend concerts, but the guy you are interested in only likes to stay home, this likely won't work for you in the long term. If you are just looking for a guy to hang out with and have fun, then it may not matter to you if you have much in common and you might find his interests as something you would like to learn more about. If this is the case, still, be yourself.

Tip #4: Take It Slow & Work At A Pace You Are Comfortable With

There's usually no reason to rush into getting to know someone. For a first conversation, offer a sincere compliment and ask him something about himself. Guys often enjoy getting a chance to talk about their interests (most people do!) and this tactic plays double duty. Not only does he feel good that you're interested in what he wants to talk about, but also you get to find out more about him and whether he would be compatible.

After the first date, stay in contact, but don't overdo it. Continue to do your own thing. The best relationships involve two people who still have their own separate interests while finding activities they enjoy doing together.

Guys or boys enjoy having a little distance when they first start dating someone. They might not want to rush into things, so sometimes, letting them lead the way is a good idea in the beginning. If they text you to check-in, text them back when you have a moment. You don't need to sit with your phone in your hand waiting to send back an instant reply. Allow yourself time to respond. By waiting a half hour to reply to a casual text, you allow yourself the space to think clearly about your response, and you give yourself the time to craft a message that you will not regret.

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If things got a little heavy on the first date and now you are thinking that you are in a relationship with him, think again. Sex normally does not constitute a commitment. It may be a good idea to take time out to get to know him before deciding to resume sexual contact. This way you can decide if this is someone that you want to have a relationship with, or if sex is as far as it will go. If you decide that a mostly sexual relationship is all that you see in the future, make sure that he is on board with this before entering into that type of relationship. Just because you had sex on the first date does not mean that that is all he is looking for.

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