How To Know If You Like Someone: Ask Yourself These 5 Questions

Updated October 5, 2022 by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Figuring out your own feelings whether you like someone (as a friend or more) is a difficult task. As we grow older, many of us stick with the same comfortable group, and branching out can be challenging. When you're looking for new friends or romantic partners, it's important to make sure you are inviting the right kind of people into your life. Keep reading for questions to ask yourself and ways to tell if someone likes you back.

Trying To Figure Out If You Like Someone?

5 Questions to Ask Yourself

Here are the questions you need to ask yourself to determine if you like someone. These questions can also help to work through romantic feelings of someone that you are spending time with. The answers will give you insight on how to proceed. Questions like these are something you can also discuss with your online therapist

  1. Do they make you feel good?

Before you make anyone a regular part of your life, you should ask yourself, do they make you feel good? This doesn't mean your potential friend or love interest needs to breathe positivity and rainbows every day. But it is important to consider how they make you feel overall, by asking yourself if you are happy when you are around them and if you enjoy spending quality time with them. The first person you meet might not be a best friend or perfect partner to start a new relationship with and build future plans, but it is important to approach a new person with an open and cautious mind. It is important to stop thinking and looking for a pretty clear sign. Instead, explore your feelings about the relationship with the guy or girl, and simply start with, “Do they make me feel good?”

  1. Do you think about them a lot?

Do you find yourself thinking about this person all the time? Friends and loved ones are important to us and we think of them often. If you find yourself thinking about a person a lot, there's a pretty good chance you like them on some personal level.

  1. What do you like about them?

If you want to know whether you like someone, write down the things you like about them. If you like someone, it's not hard to come up with a list of qualities you admire. It can be clear fast if they hurt your feelings, or if you can hope that they might become a friend or partner.

  1. What do you dislike about them?

Now take a moment and do the opposite. Write down the things you dislike about the person. No one's perfect and it's fine if you have a couple of items on this list. This type of pro/con list can help you decide if you like someone because it brings clarity to your feelings and confirms why you are in a friendship or relationship with them. Either you like a lot about them, or you don't.

  1. Do you want to tell them when good or bad things happen to you?

Just like our friends and loved ones come to mind throughout our day, we can't wait to tell the important people in our lives when something big happens to us.

Ways to Tell If Someone Likes You Back

Pay attention to these ways to tell if someone likes you. These methods were mentioned in this article from Psychology Today.

Clear Eye Contact

We look at people we like and evade looking at individuals we don't like. The neurochemical oxytocin may be the cause for increased eye contact, as elevated oxytocin levels boost eye observation and offer a sense of wellbeing, which enhances mutual attraction. Oxytocin also increases pupil dilation, which signifies attraction. The wider the dilation, the more appeal people feel toward one another. If you are on a date with someone and are wondering if they are interested, a good sign is eye contact. However, if their head is down and they miss eye contact, do not lose hope; they may be interested but shy.

Physical Touch

People often touch someone they like. In romantic relationships, women may lightly touch the arm of the individual they are chatting with. This light touch should not be mistaken as an invitation to a sexual encounter; it simply implies she likes you. Men convey their liking for other men by fist or chest bumping, or lightly punching each other on the shoulder. Men express affection for a woman by engaging in good-natured physical activities. Touching is a good gauge as to whether a person likes or dislikes you. Touching is a good sign; dating may be next and becoming partners may follow. It is important to talk a bit more and explore other pages and examples before getting too excited.

Leaning Toward Someone

Body positioning is another indicator that someone likes you and is on the same page. People tend to lean toward another person they like and distance themselves from those they dislike. Inward leaning increases as a tighter bond is formed. This can give you an idea, but it is important to take as much time as you need.

Copying Your Mannerisms

When you spend time with the right person, people who like one another copy each other's body positions through body language. This can help determine affinity, put you on the same page, and can also be used to check whether the individual you are talking with likes you or not. It sends a subconscious signal to the individual you are aligned with them. In turn, they are prone to like you. While this could be the beginning of dating and maybe becoming partners, it is important to spend time talking, hearing, and looking for other examples before drawing conclusions that matter.

Tearing Down Walls

Individuals who like each other get rid of any obstacles between them. People who do not like each other often do the opposite. Barriers can be personal items such as purses, newspapers, backpacks, publications, cups, pillows, etc. A barrier does not automatically mean that another person does not like you or is on the same page, but it does suggest that perhaps a connection has not yet been formed that can lead to physical connection. In the world of dating, the beginning should be a time of respect.

Trying To Figure Out If You Like Someone?

Other Options

In addition to paying attention to the questions and signals mentioned above, there are other ways to know if you like someone. Take notice of the little things that are theirs. When you find yourself missing someone's smile or the way they laugh, according to Psychology Today, this is noteworthy. One idea is to consider how you behaved when you liked people or were on a good date in the past. Are you acting the same way? Pay attention to the signs that matter from the first time to the last.

Start taking notes on a page in your mind. If you find yourself eager about something as simple as going shopping or watching TV with a special someone, this is another clue you like them. This may also be the case if you want to change your plans to hang out. The first thing and sure way is to open with yourself and be willing to admit the answer. Oftentimes we will change our schedules to be able to make ourselves available to someone special. If you still can't figure it out, you may need some more help getting to the root of your feelings-or you may need help coming to terms with them. This is where BetterHelp services help.

Seeking Help

When you need guidance with your love life, there are many counselors, such as a relationship coach, through BetterHelp services available to aid you, and they have helped thousands of couples strengthen their relationships before. They practice online therapy, so you can meet with a counselor like a relationship coach through a variety of methods, including chat, text, phone, or video conferencing-from the comfort and privacy of your own home, or wherever you prefer. Consider the following reviews of BetterHelp services and counselors, from people experiencing similar issues.

Counselor Reviews

"Mark is an amazing therapist. He listens so well and has such valuable insight on male and female perspectives and issues while also not passing judgment. I have only just begun, but he has already given me so many great takeaways to improve my relationships and situations. I am filled with gratitude, and I would highly recommend him to anyone!!"

"Jodi Nelan has encouraged me to explore my relationships with people and allowed me to overcome them obstacles in my decision making."


The best way to tell if you like someone is to take your time and be aware of how you feel when they are around. If you are still feeling confused about your feelings, or want to know tried-and-true ways to move forward with that person, there are tools available. Take the first step.

Below are some commonly asked questions on this topic:

How do I know if I like someone or just the idea of them?
How long does it take to know if you like someone?
Do I like someone or am I just lonely?
Do I like him or am I just bored?
What age do people fall in love?
Do guys fall in love faster?
How do you know if u like a guy?
How do u know if u dont like someone?
Do I have a crush in him?
How do I know if I like someone romantically?

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