How To Know If You Like Someone: Ask Yourself These 5 Questions
By: Ashley Brown
Updated September 18, 2020
Medically Reviewed By: Carnell Colebrook-Claude , MA, NCC, BC-TMH, LPC (Clinical Track), LPCC, LCPC, LIMHP, LSOTP
Figuring out whether you like someone (as a friend or more) is a difficult task. As we grow older, many of us stick with the same comfortable group, and branching out can be challenging. When you're looking for new friends or romantic partners, it's important to make sure you are inviting the right kind of people into your life. Keep reading for questions to ask yourself and ways to tell if someone likes you back.
5 Questions to Ask Yourself
Here are the questions you need to ask yourself to determine if you like someone. The answers will give you insight on how to proceed.
1. Do they make you feel good?
Before you make anyone a regular part of your life, you should ask yourself, do they make you feel good? This doesn't mean your potential friend or love interest needs to breathe positivity and rainbows every day. But it is important to consider how they make you feel overall, by asking yourself if you are happy when you are around them and if you enjoy spending quality time with them.
2. Do you think about them a lot?
Do you find yourself thinking about this person all the time? Friends and loved ones are important to us and we think of them often. Maybe you see something that reminds you of the person you like, or you read something funny and you make a note to share it with them later. If you find yourself thinking about a person a lot, there's a pretty good chance you like them on some personal level.
3. What do you like about them?
If you want to know whether you like someone, write down the things you like about them. If you like someone, it's not hard to come up with a list of qualities you admire.
4. What do you dislike about them?
Now take a moment and do the opposite. Write down the things you dislike about the person. No one's perfect and it's fine if you have a couple of items on this list. This type of pro/con list can help you decide if you like someone because it brings clarity to how you feel and confirms why you are in a friendship or relationship with them. Either you like a lot about them, or you don't.
5. Do you want to tell them when good or bad things happen to you?
A good way to tell if you like someone is to notice if you enjoy sharing important things in your life with them. Just like our friends and loved ones come to mind throughout our day, we can't wait to tell the important people in our lives when something big happens to us.
Ways to Tell If Someone Likes You Back
Pay attention to these ways to tell if someone likes you. These methods were mentioned in this article from Psychology Today.
Clear Eye Contact
We look at people we like and evade looking at individuals we don't like. The neurochemical oxytocin may be the cause for increased eye contact, as elevated oxytocin levels boost eye observation and offer a sense of wellbeing, which enhances mutual attraction. Oxytocin also increases pupil dilation, which signifies attraction. The wider the dilation, the more appeal people feel toward one another.
People often touch someone they like. In romantic relationships, women may lightly touch the arm of the individual they are chatting with. This light touch should not be mistaken as an invitation to a sexual encounter; it simply implies she likes you. Men convey their liking for other men by fist or chest bumping, or lightly punching each other on the shoulder. Men express affection for a woman by engaging in good-natured physical activities. Touching is a good gauge as to whether a person likes or dislikes you.
Leaning Toward Someone
Body positioning is another indicator that someone likes you. People tend to lean toward another person they like and distance themselves from those they dislike. Inward leaning increases as a tighter bond is formed.
Copying Your Mannerisms
People who like one another copy each other's body positions. This can help determine affinity and can also be used to check whether the individual you are talking with likes you or not. It sends a subconscious signal to the individual you are aligned with them. In turn, they are prone to like you.
Tearing Down Walls
Individuals who like each other get rid of any obstacles between them. People who do not like each other often do the opposite. Barriers can be personal items such as purses, newspapers, backpacks, publications, cups, pillows, etc. A barrier does not automatically mean that another person does not like you, but it does suggest that perhaps a connection has not yet been formed.
In addition to paying attention to the questions and signals mentioned above, there are other ways to know if you like someone. Take notice of the little things. When you find yourself missing someone's smile or the way they laugh, according to Psychology Today, this is noteworthy. You may also want to consider how you behaved when you liked people in the past. Are you acting the same way? Pay attention to the signs.
Start taking mental notes. If you find yourself eager about something as simple as going shopping or watching TV with a special someone, this is another clue you like them. This may also be the case if you want to change your plans to hang out. Oftentimes we will change our schedules to be able to make ourselves available to someone special. If you still can't figure it out, you may need some more help getting to the root of your feelings-or you may need help coming to terms with them. This is where BetterHelp can help.
When you need guidance with your love life, there are many counselors at BetterHelp available to aid you, who have helped thousands of couples strengthen their relationships before. They practice online therapy, so you can meet with them through a variety of methods, including chat, text, phone, or video conferencing-from the comfort and privacy of your own home, or wherever you prefer. Consider the following reviews of BetterHelp counselors, from people experiencing similar issues.
"Mark is an amazing therapist. He listens so well and has such valuable insight on male and female perspectives and issues while also not passing judgment. I have only just begun, but he has already given me so many great takeaways to improve my relationships and situations. I am filled with gratitude, and I would highly recommend him to anyone!!"
"Jodi Nelan has encouraged me to explore my relationships with people and allowed me to overcome them obstacles in my decision making."
The best way to tell if you like someone is to take your time and be aware of how you feel when they are around. If you are still feeling confused about your feelings, or want to know tried-and-true ways to move forward with that person, there are tools available. Take the first step.
Frequently Asked Questions(FAQs)
What does having a crush feel like?
It's not a big deal to have a crush. As a matter of fact, it's a good sign that you have the ability of falling in love. When you have a crush, it may feel like you have a thousand butterflies in your tummy. You may feel happy always around them; sometimes, your heart may leap when you see your crush, or you may feel giddy. Often times, you're thinking of the next time you'd see that crush. Often times, you may be very tempted to express your true feelings to that person. However, you may not be sure if your crush will be ready for a relationship or if he's ready to spend time with you. Typically, a relationship coach helps with all issues relating to this area. Getting a good relationship may require you to check their success stories.
How can you tell if you like a guy?
There so many things that can show whether or not you like a guy. One of the most common ways you can tell if you like a guy is if you feel natural around him. When you spend time with him, you are just yourself so easily. In other words, you don't feel uncomfortable when he shows up. Having a deep conversation may also be a good sign that you like him. When you call or text him, you may notice that you're open to him, and you like the idea of spending time with him. Another good sign is if you can't stop thinking about him. Sometimes you may mention him to a friend or family member. Typically, when you like a guy, it’s beyond physical attraction. Get help from a relationship coach today; BetterHelp has lots of success stories in areas that deal with relationships.
How do you know if you like someone more than a friend?
It’s not a big deal to like someone more than a friend. However, it may be tricky since you both feel natural among each other. Most friendships are healthy relationships, so you might be worried if it's a good sign that you like your friend. There’s a difference between liking someone as a friend and wanting something more. You may just like spending time with them more often. In some cases, it could even be your best friend. A relationship coach may tell you that a major sign that shows you like someone more than a friend is if you get jealous over them. In other words, when they spend some time with other people, you get jealous. If you want to know if you have deeper feelings for your friend or best friend, note how your mood changes around them. Sometimes, you could know by your feeling when you imagine having a romantic relationship with them.
How do you tell your crush that you like them?
There are some pro tips to help you in telling your crush you like them. If you’re lucky, you may get the good news or a good sign that they feel the same way towards you. Once you’re ready to confess your feelings towards your crush, follow these pro tips:
- Show some not too obvious signs
- Give yourself a specific time frame (So you don’t get scared the day it’s time)
- Be very confident
- Don’t make it difficult for them
- If you’re afraid, try getting comfortable
- Show how much you’re interested
- Think of the way you’d feel if you didn’t express your feelings.
Every one of those pro tips is helpful for different sets of people in expressing their feelings to their crush. In most cases, it is also helpful in expressing your deeper feelings towards your friend or best friend. Moreover, you may also try getting a relationship coach to help out.
How do you tell someone you like them without telling them?
It’s okay if you’re afraid to confess your feelings bluntly. There a few ways of showing you like someone or you’re falling in love without expressly telling them. Some physical signs may serve as a good sign of telling your crush your feelings. Making eye contact with your crush can be a very good way of showing you don't feel uncomfortable around them. Interestingly, it may further show you like them. Saying hi, may seem subtle, but it is effective. You may also ask a friend or family member to invite them for an event. During a conversation, try making light touches. Please note that there’s a difference between liking someone as a friend and liking someone romantically. You can get better help by visiting sites like BetterHelp and getting a relationship coach. BetterHelp has lots of success stories in issues regarding expressing your feelings. Check out the new article to help you.
What do you text your crush?
It’s a good sign if you want to call or text your crush; it shows you crave to connect. Texting your crush is a good sign that you like him or her. When you are texting your crush, ask an engaging question. When you ask questions that engage him or her, that may be a good sign to your crush. It's a good sign when your crush continually enjoys your engaging conversations. If you both had something similar, maybe childhood experiences, then try jogging up their memories. Trust me; everyone appreciates someone who is able to bring back old memories. You may also say something sweet, something that might put a smile on the face of your crush. Overall, getting a relationship coach can go a long way in helping you out. However, you may be sure to check for success stories first.
How do you tell a girl that you love her without saying it?
One of the most effective ways to tell a girl you love her without saying a word is by using body language. Body language is a means of dropping hints or ideas in a conversation or somewhere both of you are spending time together. You have to make good eye contact with her when you're both talking; it's a good sign to show you're interested in her. Remember that verbal consent is always important if a situation escalates.
What are signs that you like someone?
You may have read through the questions to ask above in the article and still feel like you need more information. If you’re ready to know if you’re interested in someone, here are some more signs to watch for:
- You find yourself wishing for more time with the other person
- You’re wanting to text them all the time
- Everything makes you think about them
- Everything feels more exciting
- You start to like the things they like (even if you used to hate it)
- You’re thinking is focused on every little thing about them from the way they hold their phone to the way that they smell so good
- You get jealous easy because you’re afraid someone else will steal them away
You may even find that you already know that you like them, you just might be having a hard time admitting it to yourself. If this is the case, you may want to spend some time thinking about why you’re feeling that way. Talking to a therapist could help if you’re struggling to figure it out on your own.
Can a crush last for years?
It’s possible for a crush to last for years. If you’re afraid to act on your feelings, you may find that they don’t go away. If you keep your feelings to yourself, then you don’t give them a chance to grow into something more or to find out that your feelings aren’t reciprocated in order to begin the process of moving on.
The best way to figure out how to move forward could be confronting your feelings head on. If you’re afraid to do this, your crush could become the person to avoid in life but that doesn’t mean that your feelings will go away. It can help to stop thinking so much about it and take action. If you’re unsure of the best way to do this, you can talk to a therapist to identify any hold ups that you’re having.
Are crushes healthy?
Crushes can be healthy but there are also times when they might not be. If you’ve recently come out of a relationship, having a crush can be a good sign that you’re ready to move on. You may also find that having a crush gets you thinking in different ways. While it may get you trying to gauge your physical attraction, some studies also find that having a crush helps you to feel and act more creatively.
However, if you have a crush and find it’s difficult to think about anything else or you find out that your crush doesn’t feel the same way, it can be difficult to handle. If you're upset, you may find that it spills into other areas of your life. It could also have a negative impact on your self-esteem. In cases like this, it can be helpful to work with a therapist to move forward in a healthy way.
How do you stop liking someone?
If you find that you like someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you, it can be hard to move forward. You might find that you can’t just shut off your feelings for the other person. It can take time to move forward. If you’re struggling to do so, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist for help.
How do you make someone fall in love with you?
If you have a crush and you’re excited about having a future with them, you’re probably wanting to figure out how to make them fall in love with you. While it can be tempting to do this, it can be important to realize that you don’t have control over how another person feels about you. Just like the way that all people who you contact won’t answer, not everyone that you fall for is going to fall for you.
However, if you’re still wanting tips on how to make someone fall in love with you, the best thing you can do is focus on being the best person you can be. Make sure that you’re paying attention to having healthy self-esteem and that you’ve been behaving in the right way towards others. If you don’t focus on these things, you may find that even if someone thought they liked you, they may not want to fall in love with you.
Remember that there is a big difference between liking someone and falling in love. It can take time to for someone to fall in love with you. When you understand the difference between liking someone and being in love, it can help you as you move forward. If you’re struggling in relationships, you may benefit from working with a therapist to overcome any hang ups and learn important skills such as how to improve communication and build yo
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