How To Know If You Like Someone: Ask Yourself These 5 Questions
By Ashley Brown
Updated May 01, 2020
Figuring out whether you like someone (as a friend or more) is a difficult task. As we grow older, many of us stick with the same comfortable group, and branching out can be challenging. When you're looking for new friends or romantic partners, it's important to make sure you are inviting the right kind of people into your life. Keep reading for questions to ask yourself and ways to tell if someone likes you back.
5 Questions to Ask Yourself
Here are the questions you need to ask yourself to determine if you like someone. The answers will give you insight on how to proceed.
1. Do they make you feel good?
Before you make anyone a regular part of your life, you should ask yourself, do they make you feel good? This doesn't mean your potential friend or love interest needs to breathe positivity and rainbows every day. But it is important to consider how they make you feel overall, by asking yourself if you are happy when you are around them and if you enjoy spending quality time with them.
2. Do you think about them a lot?
Do you find yourself thinking about this person all the time? Friends and loved ones are important to us and we think of them often. Maybe you see something that reminds you of the person you like, or you read something funny and you make a note to share it with them later. If you find yourself thinking about a person a lot, there's a pretty good chance you like them on some personal level.
3. What do you like about them?
If you want to know whether you like someone, write down the things you like about them. If you like someone, it's not hard to come up with a list of qualities you admire.
4. What do you dislike about them?
Now take a moment and do the opposite. Write down the things you dislike about the person. No one's perfect and it's fine if you have a couple of items on this list. This type of pro/con list can help you decide if you like someone because it brings clarity to how you feel and confirms why you are in a friendship or relationship with them. Either you like a lot about them, or you don't.
5. Do you want to tell them when good or bad things happen to you?
A good way to tell if you like someone is to notice if you enjoy sharing important things in your life with them. Just like our friends and loved ones come to mind throughout our day, we can't wait to tell the important people in our lives when something big happens to us.
Ways to Tell If Someone Likes You Back
Pay attention to these ways to tell if someone likes you. These methods were mentioned in this article from Psychology Today.
Clear Eye Contact
We look at people we like and evade looking at individuals we don't like. The neurochemical oxytocin may be the cause for increased eye contact, as elevated oxytocin levels boost eye observation and offer a sense of wellbeing, which enhances mutual attraction. Oxytocin also increases pupil dilation, which signifies attraction. The wider the dilation, the more appeal people feel toward one another.
People often touch someone they like. In romantic relationships, women may lightly touch the arm of the individual they are chatting with. This light touch should not be mistaken as an invitation to a sexual encounter; it simply implies she likes you. Men convey their liking for other men by fist or chest bumping, or lightly punching each other on the shoulder. Men express affection for a woman by engaging in good-natured physical activities. Touching is a good gauge as to whether a person likes or dislikes you.
Leaning Toward Someone
Body positioning is another indicator that someone likes you. People tend to lean toward another person they like and distance themselves from those they dislike. Inward leaning increases as a tighter bond is formed.
Copying Your Mannerisms
People who like one another copy each other's body positions. This can help determine affinity and can also be used to check whether the individual you are talking with likes you or not. It sends a subconscious signal to the individual you are aligned with them. In turn, they are prone to like you.
Tearing Down Walls
Individuals who like each other get rid of any obstacles between them. People who do not like each other often do the opposite. Barriers can be personal items such as purses, newspapers, backpacks, publications, cups, pillows, etc. A barrier does not automatically mean that another person does not like you, but it does suggest that perhaps a connection has not yet been formed.
In addition to paying attention to the questions and signals mentioned above, there are other ways to know if you like someone. Take notice of the little things. When you find yourself missing someone's smile or the way they laugh, according to Psychology Today, this is noteworthy. You may also want to consider how you behaved when you liked people in the past. Are you acting the same way? Pay attention to the signs.
Start taking mental notes. If you find yourself eager about something as simple as going shopping or watching TV with a special someone, this is another clue you like them. This may also be the case if you want to change your plans to hang out. Oftentimes we will change our schedules to be able to make ourselves available to someone special. If you still can't figure it out, you may need some more help getting to the root of your feelings-or you may need help coming to terms with them. This is where BetterHelp can help.
When you need guidance with your love life, there are many counselors at BetterHep available to aid you, who have helped thousands of couples strengthen their relationships before. They practice online therapy, so you can meet with them through a variety of methods, including chat, text, phone, or video conferencing-from the comfort and privacy of your own home, or wherever you prefer. Consider the following reviews of BetterHelp counselors, from people experiencing similar issues.
"Mark is an amazing therapist. He listens so well and has such valuable insight on male and female perspectives and issues while also not passing judgment. I have only just begun, but he has already given me so many great takeaways to improve my relationships and situations. I am filled with gratitude, and I would highly recommend him to anyone!!"
"Jodi Nelan has encouraged me to explore my relationships with people and allowed me to overcome them obstacles in my decision making."
The best way to tell if you like someone is to take your time and be aware of how you feel when they are around. If you are still feeling confused about your feelings, or want to know tried-and-true ways to move forward with that person, there are tools available. Take the first step.