A Guide To Finding A Gay Therapist Online For Affirming LGBTQ+ Therapy

Looking for a therapist who will be a good match for you? Most people benefit from finding a mental health professional who can understand and respect their experiences. This can be especially important for those in the LGBTQ+ community, where individuals may have unique experiences related to gender identity, homophobia, relationship dynamics, and more. Here, we’ll dive into how to find a gay or LGBTQ+-affirming therapist online who can offer quality virtual care.

What is LGBTQ+-affirming mental health therapy?

It also involves the provider being aware and informed of the history of mistreatment of queer people in the healthcare field and the existence of systemic barriers for many queer individuals—particularly those with intersecting identities.

This kind of nuanced perspective can allow a therapist to create a safe environment and build a strong therapeutic relationship with their client, which can allow them to provide quality care. In a society where queer people often face discrimination, harassment, and even violence, having an affirming and informed therapist can represent a critical and, for some individuals, rare safe space where the client can be fully supported as themselves.

Mental health in the queer community

Prejudice and systemic barriers exist for many queer people in today’s world. As a result, members of the LGBTQ+ community are at higher risk of developing a mental illness like depression, anxiety, and others and may also have more trouble finding care. This can be especially true for those with intersecting identities (such as disabled queer people or BIPOC queer people), who may face compounding barriers. For instance, consider the fact that LGBTQ+ high schoolers of color are more likely to attempt suicide (27%) than LGBTQ+ high schoolers overall (22%) and non-LGBTQ+ high schoolers (5%), or that 28% of queer adults of color are uninsured compared to 8% of all adults.

With all of this information in mind, it can be easier to understand why the existence of LGBTQ+-affirming mental health care can be so important for those in the queer community.

What are the advantages of online queer-affirming therapy?

There are queer-affirming therapists who practice in person and those who practice online. The format a client chooses will depend on their unique needs and preferences. That said, online therapy can offer some key advantages.

First, it allows individuals to connect with a provider virtually from anywhere they have an internet connection. For someone who lives in a rural area or a place that’s generally not supportive of gay rights or the LGBTQ+ community, it may be difficult to find a local therapist they can trust. With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can share your needs and preferences in a therapist and then get matched with someone accordingly from a large pool of licensed providers.

Online therapy can also simply be more convenient, since it requires no commuting and can be engaged in from anywhere the client has an internet connection. Many people also find this format to be more comfortable, since you can speak with your provider via phone, video call, or in-app messaging depending on your preferences. Plus, online therapy is often more affordable than in-person care without insurance, which may help reduce some barriers to care that individuals in the queer community tend to face.

Research on the effectiveness of online therapy

There’s a growing body of research that points to the effectiveness of online therapy for addressing a variety of mental health concerns. For instance, consider a 2020 study comparing online and in-person therapy. Its findings suggest that “internet-delivered therapy may be a viable alternative to in-person therapy” in many cases.

Research on the effectiveness of online LGBTQ+-affirming therapy

Research has also been done on the effectiveness of online therapy for members of the LGBTQ+ community in particular. One example is a 2021 study that suggests that online, affirming therapy for LGBTQ+ clients can be an effective way to address symptoms of anxiety and depression and improve coping mechanisms. The study reports that “digital technologies are a promising platform for the delivery of affirmative therapies for LGBTQA+ populations.”

How to find a gay therapist or LGBTQ+-affirming counselor online

When trying to find an online therapist who is queer themselves and/or has training in LGBTQ+-affirming care, there are a few different paths you can choose from. Consider taking the following steps to help you in your search.

1. Choose an online therapy platform (or otherwise vet the therapist’s credentials)

When searching for a gay therapist online, using a reputable virtual therapy platform like BetterHelp can often streamline the process. Online therapy platforms typically have strict criteria that mental health professionals must meet, such as specific licenses and credentials. Taking this route can help ensure you’ll be working with a professional who has the experience and training needed to guide you in a positive direction.

You can also choose to find a therapist who does not work through a platform like BetterHelp, such as someone who has their own independent practice. You might find them through your insurance company, if applicable, by referral from a friend or neighbor, or through an online directory. In this case, it can be important to confirm on your own that they have the proper licensure to treat clients in your area.

2. Filter potential matches

Different individuals will have different needs and preferences in terms of what they're looking for in an affirming therapist. For example, one person may require a provider with experience and training in trauma-informed care, while another may be looking for a provider who is also queer or who shares their cultural background. Considering your needs and preferences can inform your search.

Online therapy platforms often have ways to filter potential therapist matches based on your criteria. Depending on the platform, this may involve filling out a questionnaire that matches you with a therapist or putting various specifications into a search tool to narrow down the available options. In doing so, you may be able to find a therapist who specializes in treating LGBTQ+ clients and has other experience you might be looking for. If reviews from past or current clients are available, reading these may help you narrow down your search.

3. Schedule an introductory session

After you have found or been matched with a therapist, you can use your initial consultation or first session to gauge whether it seems like a good fit. The introductory session is often the time to ask your therapist any questions you may have about their experience, so jotting down a few beforehand may be helpful. For example, you might ask things like:

• Do you have specific training in providing queer-affirming therapy?
• Why did you decide to specialize in providing LGBTQ+-affirming therapy?
• What’s your experience working with queer individuals—particularly [specific identity] 
  individuals?
• What’s your experience working with individuals who are living with [specific mental 
  health concern]?
• What methods or approaches do you typically use to treat clients?
• What’s your core treatment philosophy as a therapist?

How your therapist answers these questions may help you determine if they might be a good fit for your unique needs. At the very least, they may help you decide whether you’d like to book a next session with them. It may take a few meetings to decide whether it’s truly the right match or whether you’d like to keep exploring other providers.

4. Trust your instincts 

When trying to find a therapist, trusting your instincts can be the key to finding a good fit. Even if a therapist is highly qualified, that doesn’t always mean they’ll be the right personality or experience match for you. It’s important to feel comfortable and understood by your therapist, and it’s common to explore a few providers and switch therapists until you find someone you feel comfortable with. Note that if you go through an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can switch therapists at any time, for any reason, and at no additional cost.

Online Therapy: Finding the Right Therapist

If you don’t sense that your therapist is the right match, you may want to listen to your instincts and consider finding a new therapist. When you use online therapy platforms, getting matched with a new therapist for an introductory session is often simple. 

Support is available

Traveling the road to finding the right LGBTQ+-informed therapist for you can take time. The important thing to remember is that affirming care is available. If you’re ready to start your journey today, you can sign up with BetterHelp. Most people can be matched with a provider in as little as 48 hours. Regardless of the method you may choose for finding a therapist to work with, know that you are not alone.