Philia: Love In Friendships

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):

What kind of love is philia?

In Aristotle’s “Nicomachean Ethics,” he identifies numerous different ideas about the theory of love, among them the idea of “Philia,” or brotherly love. From the Greek language text, Philia is most often translated as “brotherly love,” or the love that is shared between friends and equals, devoid of passion, but filled with love, affection, and trust. While there is typically only one word used in the English language to describe love whether it is between romantic partners or friends, the Greek language relies upon “philia” to denote a specific type of love that is most frequently seen between people who are close, be that close friends, family members, or community members.

One of the most commonly-discussed ancient Greek words for love, “agape,” has erroneously been attributed the definition of “brotherly love.” Philia was Aristotle’s preferred descriptor for brotherly love, primarily because the love shared between friends does not carry with it the same degree of sacrifice and attachment that the love between a parent and child or even a person and their chosen deity that agape suggests

What are the types of philia?

Although the ancient Greek word “philia” (“philos” in some texts) is most often translated to simply mean “brotherly love,” Aristotle’s “Nicomachean Ethics” identifies the word “philia” as far more than just the love shared between brothers; instead, in Nicomachean Ethics, philia refers to the love shared between friends, family members (though typically not a spouse and children), and others who are considered equals. The types of Philia, then, all involve platonic love, though the exact expression of platonic love can vary. Ancient Greek language texts may seem outdated, but many relational patterns present in ancient Greek times persist today; after all, who does not love their friends, share a bond with their family members, or experience great affection for close members of their community? While the words for love found among Greek words for love may initially seem complicated, they reflect many of the same views on and experiences of love that people continue to experience today.

What are the 4 types of love?

The 4 most common Greek words for love include Agape, Eros, Philia, and Storge. Each of these words for love involves a different type of love—both in terms of experience, and in terms of expression. Agape, for instance, is often attributed to philosophy, religious views, love between mankind and God, or the love expressed toward mankind from God. Among the words for love, Agape is perhaps the most ethereal philosophy of love, as it is not readily measured by everyone. People who are not religious might not comprehend or entertain the possibility of a love between God and mankind, and instead consider Agape love the type of love felt from one person for all of mankind—compassionate love, in essence, that does not have a single figure or person to attach to.

Eros is the more obsessive love type—the one that focuses largely on physical attractiveness and includes sexual interest or passion. Eros is also often considered the source of love at first sight; because eros is largely sexual in nature, it is typically the source of visual passion and interest. Eros is the love typically celebrated on Valentine’s Day, for instance, and is the considered the romantic love basis, love letter love, and enduring romantic passion love. Although eros is recognized as the source of romantic love, it is so deeply ingrained in passion and sexuality, that it has also been relegated to the status of “puppy love.” Relationship, romance, and sex are a whirlwind, at first, but that type of love often fades away, replaced either by an abiding and deeper love, unconditional love, unrequited love, or a shared moving-away from romantic interest and affection. If you apply the Yaghan “mamihlapinatapai” concepts, color wheel theory can help explain the different avenues to (or away from) romantic loves, including eros.

Philia is not falling in love; friendship or companionship is, instead, the aim and breadth of philia. Also called “brotherly love” in an encyclopedia of philosophy, philia is the type of love shared by close friends, family members, and close-knit members of a community. Philia is, perhaps, most effectively described as the philosophy of love that spans shared interests, mutual care and respect, and lasting ties, all in the absence of romantic attraction. There is, in Philia, a biological basis. Love letters and other romantic tokens are not exchanged in philia; instead, tokens of affection are often exchanged, such as thoughtful gifts, meaningful cards, or the simple, immeasurable gifts of trust, respect, and affection. 

Storge is another theory of love that has a strong biological basis, and is a compassionate form of love. Conjugal love and other types of love often rely upon behavior and shared interests or experiences to build and continue to sustain love, but Storge has no need for a feeling of love having been earned; it is from the heart, compassionate love. Conjugal love, courtly love, addiction love, falling in love, friendship, and most other types of love all require the recipient of an individual’s attention and affection to be worthy of said love and affection, but this is not the case in the love described by Greek language texts as “storge.” Storge is unearned, freely given, and driven by something deeper than earned love. It is the unconditional love given to children by their parents, which (typically) starts at birth and persists well into adulthood and beyond.

What are the 7 Greek love words?

The 7 Greek words for love most commonly found on the internet encyclopedia, the color wheel theory of love, and other sites dedicated to Greek words and phrases include:

• Agape love is often one of the more complicated types of love to understand, as it does not describe falling in love, friendship, romantic zone, interpersonal relationships, intimacy, limerence, love addiction, or other forms of one-to-one love or affection. Instead, agape refers to the kind of love that encompasses all of humanity. Most commonly, agape is likened to compassion, empathy, and often involves social views (anarchist free social views, most commonly), because agape focuses heavily on experiencing love and care for everyone, without focusing or homing in on an individual person to even people group. Agape is typically associated with the love of the Judeo-Christian God and the people this God created, but has also been used to describe other deities’’ feelings toward their people, and may be used to describe the ideal behavior of humans as a whole.
• Eros is what most people first think of when they think of love. Eros is well within the romantic zone, interpersonal relationships being the norm with Eros love. Eros love leans heavily on physical attractiveness (triangular theory and its components are typically involved, as well), and may fall prey to the exposure effect, similarity, physical attractiveness, and is often expressed through love letters, love, “magic,” Valentine’s Day, and sexual interest. Eros does not necessarily have to involve typical shows of romance, but will always have some element of sex or attraction involved.
• Ludus is used to describe the love experienced in the beginning of most relationships, and may be associated with courtly love, courtship, troubadours falling in love and composing songs about their paramours, and similarly youthful, rich, and excited love. Ludus love might focus more on love, affection, bonding, broken hearts when apart, and other youthful (even somewhat silly) notions of love and affection. Teenage relationships are often rich with ludus, as are relationships still in their beginning stages. As is the case with eros, ludus involves relationship intimacy, limerence, love, and emerging interest in someone, and may or may not involve sex. Ludus is also noncommittal, and can be used to describe young love, the beginning stages of love, or even interest, attention, or affection without any solid commitment.
• Philautia is one of the least-discussed types of love. Sad though it may be, this seems to be in keeping with many cultures’ opinions regarding self and self-love. Greek words describing Philautia have also been translated to Chinese “Yuanfen,” French “Amour Propre,” Spanish “amour de soi,” unconditional love in modern English and more—describes self love, or a type of love that does not involve romance. Self love, amour propre—these phrases are used to describe a sense of care, attention, and devotion to oneself, most often expressed through self-confidence and a sense of contentment. Philautia can be described positively, but can also be associated with negative traits, such as narcissism and self-absorption. A healthy balance of humility and confidence is the ideal expression of Philautia. 
• Philia is among the words and phrases used to describe the type of love modern English might call “brotherly love” or “familial love.” Philia is an easygoing type of love, characterized by affection, mutual respect, and mutual care. It is the type of love most commonly associated with familial relationships (siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles), friendships, and community relationships, such as those you might find within a church or subculture.
• Pragma is often the goal of a long-term relationship. Pragma involves a relationship, intimacy, limerence, love, and enduring affection, but relies most heavily on intimacy, affection, and commitment. Limerence is useful in the beginning stages of pragma love, but will typically cease as a relationship continues. Pragma is the type of love that is less frequently associated with similarity, physical attractiveness, triangular theory, and obsession, as pragma involves long-term commitment and a devotion to making a relationship work, even when other types of love, affection, and interest have faded. A love triangle, lovesickness, lovestruck, obsessive behavior, and addiction are the least likely elements to be involved in pragma, as it is typically the type of love found in successful, long-term marriages, and joyful, long-term partnerships.
• Storge is the love shared between parents and children. This type of love is separate from other types primarily because it bears a unique type of unconditional love. Parents, in healthy parental relationships, do not base their love for their children on what their children do, what they say, or what they offer them. Instead, parents base their love for their children on the biological basis of deep, unending love and care. Storge love is a perpetual “upload file” of love onto a child’s proverbial hard drive.

What is the highest form of love?

The highest form of love is highly dependent on the type of love valued most by a given individual. For some, agape is the most important form of love, because it describes the love expressed and felt for people by religious views’ love, deities’; mere exposure effect is associated with ludus love, which some people find vitally important, as it is how most relationships start; others believe pragma is the most important type of love because it is involved in long-term, ongoing commitment. The highest form of love, according to most articles containing ancient Greek point to agape, while many cultures seem to revere the love contained within relationships exhibited pragma.

What does philia love mean?

While other forms of love—agape, eros, ludus, mania, and storge—might focus on romance or some type of partnership, philia focuses on the love shared between friends and family members. Often called “brotherly love,” philia is characterized by a shared trust in, respect for, and estimation of one another, and usually does not involve a great deal of passion or excitement. Philia is a comfortable love, and may not even be used to characterize exceedingly passionate or close friendships, reserved instead for relationships marked by comfort, steady affection, and ease. Once again using the analogy of a computer, philia love is a give-and-take relationship, where both parties are continually hitting the “upload file” button in the relationship, equally imparting effort and attention to the relationship.

What is Uranophile?

Auranophile is someone who dearly loves the stars and the moon, or gleans a lot of comfort or a sense of safety from the moon and stars. The word is made up of “urano,” taken from the word for “the heavens,” and “phile,” which is taken from the word “philos,” which means “dear” or “beloved.”

What is a Melophile?

The word “melophile” is made up of two words: “melo,” from “melos,” which means musical phrase, melody, or song, and “phile,” taken from the word “philos,” which means dear, or beloved. Put together, a melophile is someone who loves music.

What is agape love mean?

Agape love is a form of love that is most commonly attributed to religious views; love, deities’, mere existence all come together to create a type of love that is usually reserved for the love between God (or gods) and humans. Agape love is identified as one of the most superlative forms of love because it does not rely upon affection, bonding, broken hearts, or proving one’s worthiness; instead, agape love is the unconditional, ongoing, and unending love offered to humanity by a deity, the universe, or even by other human beings. It is included on the color wheel theory of love, and is one of the most important concepts color wheel theory addresses, though this version of agape love includes romantic attention and attachment.

What is the purest form of love?

According to most, agape love is the purest form of love. Although all forms of love are considered essential and important, agape love is considered the purest form because it is used to describe a type of love that is selfless, unconditional, and eternal. Agape love is not like the anarchist free love embraced by ludus love, nor is it the amour propre (Greek words term it Philautia) that describes love of oneself. Agape is not borne of bonding, broken heart, compassionate interest, or self-interest, but is instead the greatest expression of unadulterated, all-encompassing, and unconditional love possible.

What is the strongest kind of love?

The strongest kind of love depends on the context of the loving relationship. A religious person, for instance, might adhere to the notion that Valentine’s day, philosophy, religious beliefs, and mankind as a whole are all pointing to the strength and enduring nature of agape love. A parent who has felt the overwhelming care and affection for a child might argue that Storge is the strongest kind of love. Someone who has been married for fifty years and has experienced the power of weathering life’s storms with another person might argue that pragma is the strongest kind of love.

There are different classification systems for love; although there are the 7 Greek types of love, there are also the 4 types of love described in the bible, and the types of love identified in the color wheel theory of love. Biological, romantic, interpersonal, and self-love are all targets of these love descriptors, each of them imbued with its own degree of importance and difficulty, each of them having the potential to be considered the “strongest” to one person or another. While agape love might be the strongest type of love to someone with deeply held religious beliefs or spiritual practices, philautia love might be the strongest form of love for someone who has defied great odds, escaped an abusive relationship, and rediscovered independence. The strongest form of love may even change from person to person and situation to situation.

What are the 7 types of love?

Amore, charity—Portuguese “saudade”—there are countless ways to describe love and the people or objects it attaches to. Although there are many different classification systems for the types of love identified in Greek writings, most focus on a specific seven that include agape, eros, ludus, philautia, philia, pragma, and storge. Recently, some of these original Greek words have been included in a romantic love focused theory, called the “Color Wheel Theory of Love,” including eros, ludus, mania, philautia, and agape, but the 7 original types of love may offer a more robust picture of what love is. These include:

• Agape love is the type of love associated with deities, and is typically discussed in conjunction with God or traditional Judeo-Christian beliefs.
• Eros is, as may be guessed, the type of love associated with romance and sex. Eros is the erotic type of love, focused largely on romance and attraction, and can be found in many a love and dating article. Talk variants, views, and interpretations of eros may vary, but most involve romance and the beginning stages of relationships. Outside of the friend zone, interpersonal relationship, intimacy—all of these can fall under the category of eros love.
• Ludus is the type of love that might espouse less conventional romantic views (anarchist free love ideals, a disbelief in commitment, or an adherence to casual relationships).
• Philautia is self-love. Like unrequited love, social views of philautia often trend toward the negative, seeing self-love as unnecessary or overhyped. Nevertheless, philautia is a form of self-love that does not devolve into narcissism, but instead encourages self-respect and confidence.
• Philia is the type of love that describes the love felt by friends, extended family, and community members. It is a love known for its comfort, its ease, and its mutual respect, and is typically considered possible only between equals.
• Pragma is the type of love that is often envied by people still enmeshed in eros or ludus; pragma is the type of love that couples who have been married for 50 years boast of, and is so named due to the pragmatic nature of a long-term romantic entanglement. Though it may seem boring to some, pragma is not intended to describe a boring or uninteresting relationship, but a relationship that can stand (and has stood) the test of time.
• Storge is a type of love that focuses on parents and children. As anyone healthy and safe who has a child can likely attest, the love you feel for a child is unlike any other type of love, in that it is immediate, overwhelming, and unconditional. Children can be quite difficult to deal with, and require a massive amount of time, patience, and energy. Storge is the form of love that wholeheartedly embraces the needs and requirements of parent-child relationships.