Parenting Daughters: The Importance Of Showing Healthy Daughter Love

Updated January 20, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

The relationship between mother and daughter is typically one of the first and most impactful bonds a person will form in their lifetime. Both national and global studies have linked a person’s overall satisfaction in some of the most meaningful areas of life to their perceived relationship with their mother. 

In addition to having positive impacts on role satisfaction and self-esteem, a generally positive relationship between mother and child can in turn buffer the negative effects of challenging life circumstances including child poverty. 

In this article we will dive deeper into the ways the bond between mother-daughter can positively impact a person’s life, as well as the science that backs it up. Additionally, we will explore some of the challenges that mother-daughter relationships tend to face, and how you may be able to better navigate them. 

The Bond Between Mother And Daughter Is Important

The Impact of Mother-Daughter Relationships

In 2016, an investigative study revealed a strong link between women’s current role-satisfaction and self-esteem and their early perceptions of their relationship with their mother. The results of the study showed enhanced self-esteem and role-satisfaction in women who felt loved and accepted by their mother’s overall. 

Conjointly, the study revealed a lack of correlation between a mother’s role choice and her daughters. Put simply, a woman whose mother chose the role of being a homemaker will not necessarily choose to become a homemaker herself. Typically, a woman’s role choice in adulthood, whether it be career-centric, family oriented or non-career work oriented, is more so contingent on the overarching message they received from their mother growing up.

Impact Of Early Love

By studying the growth and development of children’s brains, researchers are beginning to see the lasting effects of the presence of warm, maternal love from birth. Research showed that a positive relationship with a mother from the earliest stages of life can buffer the negative effects of certain challenging or difficult life circumstances.

Additionally, studies show an early bond between mother and daughter can lead to the development of a secure attachment style later in life. A secure attachment style is characterized by the ability to control emotions, the ability to seek emotional support, as well as the ability to feel comfortable alone. 

Typically, the attachment style a child develops with their parents will dictate their attachment style in future relationships. The development of a secure attachment style in early childhood has the potential to positively impact both friendships and romantic relationships in a person’s future. 

Impact On Education

Another study conducted over the course of a decade concluded that parental engagement in a child’s education outside of school had positive impacts in the areas of literacy, math and social-emotional skills. Key findings revealed the importance of familial involvement in the development of a child’s reading and math skills. 

While this particular study focused on family involvement as a whole, these findings can apply to any family unit that includes a maternal figure. Typically, a child’s interest in education can contribute heavily to success later in life. 

When it comes to education, a mother’s involvement in her daughter’s early learning and development outside of school can play a largely positive role in her overall success later on in life. 

Navigating Gender-Based Difficulty

Research conducted by therapist and renowned mother-daughter relationship coach, Dr Rosjke Hasseldine, explored the existence of the many hidden controversies that exist between mothers and daughters due to underlying societal sexism. 

In this article, Dr. Hasseldine describes common difficulties between mothers and daughters to feel heard by each other. Additionally, she discusses the negative effects of “mother-blaming” which is typically characterized by the attribution of all personal problems to a mother-figure. 

Due to the intense complexity and outside societal influence that factors into these particular difficulties between mothers and daughters, it can be helpful to seek individual talk therapy for additional guidance on building and maintaining a positive parental relationship with a daughter.

Overall Positives

When it comes to general science and research on relationships between parents and children, positive, high-quality, loving relationships tend to lead to positive affects in the following areas:

  • General Success

  • Self Esteem and Self Adequacy 

  • Education

  • Emotional Control

  • Social Competence

  • Mental Health

As a mother, there tends to be exceedingly high pressure placed on the significance of raising a daughter “perfectly”. It is important to remember that parenting comes with many challenges, and there is no singularly correct way to be a mother. 

What tends to positively affect relationships between mothers and daughters most overall is the presence of mutually understood love and acceptance. It can be crucial to keep in mind that the quality of parent-child relationship can be quite reliant on the mental well-being of the parent. 

Parents who experience symptoms of depression, anxiety or other mental illness may notice the symptoms of these conditions affect their quality of parenting. For this reason, it may be beneficial for both mothers and fathers to participate in regular talk therapy. 

The Bond Between Mother And Daughter Is Important

Benefits Of Online Therapy

There are endless challenges and roadblocks that tend to come with mothering a daughter. A mother’s own mental well-being can often play a critical role in building and maintaining a positive relationship with a daughter. 

When parenting, hectic schedules can make it especially difficult to stay on top of regular therapy and mental wellness. In such cases, online therapy can often offer flexibility that regular in-person therapy typically cannot. 

Online therapy can provide a safe environment to open up about the challenges of parenting, as well as individual concerns regarding parenting style, personal mental health, and other factors that can often affect overall mothering performance.

Effectiveness Of Online Therapy

According to one study, the effectiveness of online therapy was equal to that of in-person therapy. Due to the immense role that personal mental well-being plays in nearly every aspect of life, online therapy can be especially effective in providing guidance in the matters of mothering and parenting overall. 

Takeaways

Based on extensive psychological research, the bond between a mother and daughter tends to play a very important role in the lives of both parents and children. A maternal relationship characterized by acceptance, understanding, comfort and support can help to set a child or daughter up for general success in life. 

Additionally, it is important to consider one’s own mental health in the matters of parenting. Oftentimes, participating in therapy or finding a support system composed of other mothers or parents can be very helpful in maintaining good mental health, which typically contributes to higher quality parenting.  

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