Finding the Right Marriage Counseling Canada

Many couples participate in couples or marriage counselling at some point in their relationship. People seek marriage counseling for a wide variety of reasons—not just because of conflict. Some people seek relationship counseling to strengthen their bond, achieve personal growth, or receive help navigating major life transitions. Whatever the reason for pursuing it, couples therapists can provide valuable insights and guidance that can help address unresolved issues and improve connection. 

While more and more couples are becoming open to therapy, some may not know how to find the right therapist for their needs. Couples may find it overwhelming when choosing between options like premarital counselling, faith-based counselling, family-focused therapy, and formats such as in-person or online sessions. Keep reading to learn more about marriage counseling, how it can strengthen relationships, and where to find experienced relationship therapists in Canada.

What marriage counselling can help with  

Couples therapy can help couples who are experiencing challenging moments in their relationship. These may be related to affair recovery, major life transitions, or negative patterns of communication. Here are some more details on the most common reasons couples seek couples therapy: 

• Communication issues: Issues like stonewalling (the silent treatment), defensiveness, criticism, and contempt can threaten relationships. Therapists can help clients recognize these patterns and improve communication using strategies like using “I” language and expressing feelings more readily. It can also help to have a therapist present to uncover unspoken words and clarify what each partner is trying to convey. 
• Major life challenges: Parenting issues, moving, starting a new job, grief, trauma, and more can lead to challenges in the relationship. Therapists can help clients process and express their experience and ask for the support they need. 
• Infidelity: It can be easy to fall into unhealthy patterns after a breach of trust like infidelity. A therapist can help the couple discuss why the infidelity happened, how to address deeper issues in the relationship, and what steps can be taken to rebuild trust and accountability. 

A registered psychotherapist can help couples improve their communication skills and address issues related to trust. This process can lead to deeper intimacy and greater relationship satisfaction.

Building connection, passion, and happiness in your relationship 

Counselling can help couples do things like: 

• Create a deeper connection through stronger communication, empathy, and mutual curiosity in each other’s lives
• Rediscover happiness and passion in the relationship 
• Rebuild trust after a major breach, like infidelity or gambling with joint finances
• Discover whether each partner wants to continue with, and work on, the relationship 

With couples counselling, many couples finally give themselves permission to imagine a future with a stronger relationship, one built on mutual trust, respect, and joy. With couples therapy, many couples can begin on the journey to creating that future. 

Premarital counselling and early relationship support 

It’s often beneficial to address challenges before they get worse. Premarital counselling and early relationship counseling often have slightly different goals: 

• Premarital counselling: This type of counseling often focuses on creating the strongest possible bond and preventing challenges that often arise in married life. For example, sessions may focus on discussing topics like finances, communication strategies, life goals, and how to maintain a strong emotional connection in marriage. 
• Early relationship support: Typically, this type of couples counseling focuses on addressing specific issues that the partners identify, like infidelity, recurring conflict, differing values, and communication problems. It may also be helpful during major life events or if one or both partners are experiencing mental health challenges like anxiety or depression. 

Both types of therapy can provide tools for creating shared goals, building trust, and developing a sense of partnership before challenges arise.

How a great therapist can make a difference

A strong therapeutic alliance, meaning trust and engagement between therapist and client, is one of the strongest predictors of successful interventions. While your best therapeutic match might not be the same as someone else’s, there are a few qualities to look for in a great therapist: 

• Compassionate 
• Non-judgmental 
• Qualified and experienced in the issues you want to address 

A strong counselling team works collaboratively to support couples, families, and children as they navigate life changes and marital difficulties. If you want to discover more about yourself, learn how to deal with conflict in a healthier way, or otherwise improve your mental health, working with a therapist who matches your unique needs can be a good place to start. 

The process: what to expect in counselling sessions 

Couples counselling involves talking to a therapist (sometimes one-on-one, but usually also with your partner), reflecting, and practicing exercises between sessions. Couples are typically asked to focus on their emotional growth and track progress toward their goals over time. During the first session, therapists should review the couple's history and challenges and provide more details on how they approach couples counselling, which can differ substantially between providers. 

Many people come to couples counseling when they’re in the midst of conflict or experiencing major stressors in their lives. With therapy, clients often learn skills like how to express their feelings without assigning judgment, how to clarify needs when miscommunications occur, and why it’s important to notice and acknowledge the things one’s partner does for them. 

Counselling sessions typically occur weekly over several weeks, allowing time to explore challenges in a safe space. However, the exact number of sessions will vary based on the needs and preferences of the couple. 

Common therapeutic approaches in marriage counselling 

Couples counselors can use a variety of approaches, depending on the needs and goals of each couple. Here are just a few of the interventions that couples therapists may practice: 

• One method a couples therapist may use is emotionally focused therapy (EFT). EFT can facilitate a better understanding of interaction patterns and help couples focus on each other’s emotions more deeply. 
• Another method that a marriage and family therapist may use is the Gottman Method. The Gottman Method typically incorporates techniques like strengthening love maps, engaging in physiological soothing, and deepening the friendship at the core of a relationship.
• Psychosexual therapy is sometimes used in approaches like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or psychodynamic therapy to help couples address sexual concerns, like mismatched libido, lack of intimacy, sexual dysfunction, and more. 

Regardless of the type of therapy you choose, the overarching goal is typically to foster a stronger connection, improve communication, and build a healthier basis for a relationship. 

The role of couples therapy for families 

Couples therapy isn’t always limited to the couple. Therapy can extend beyond partners to include family members, children, or a spouse coping with stress or conflict. 

Some specific challenges that may be addressed in couples therapy include: 

• Dynamics of blended families
• Parenting differences
• Emotional grief 

Therapists often recognize that life is complex, and issues between couples are often intertwined with issues in families and individual lives. 

How therapists can help with anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders

In addition to helping couples with relationship issues, therapists can support couples who are navigating a mental health diagnosis. Therapy can help not only the person diagnosed but also their partner. The partner of a person living with a mental illness often must learn how to support the person they love while also using coping skills to bolster their own mental health. 

Marriage counseling Canada: How to choose a counsellor in Canada

Some people might begin their search for a marriage or couples counselor by searching directories of therapists in Canada, as many therapists advertise their services on directories that are searchable by location. When searching these directories, it may help to note that some therapists who provide individual therapy also provide therapy to couples. It may be worth asking if a therapist has more experience with individuals or couples before committing to therapy. 

Here are some other tips to keep in mind: 

• Always check credentials, education, experience, and general fit before seeing a therapist for the first time.
• Use search tools from organizations like the Canadian Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (CAMFT) to locate qualified couples therapists in your area. 
• Understand that it may take a few sessions to build a strong therapeutic alliance, but a great therapist should be compassionate, curious, and nonjudgmental from the start. Trust your instincts if it doesn’t feel like the right fit. 

When you work with the right therapist, couples therapy can provide valuable insights into current relationship dynamics and guidance on how to move forward from there. 

Finding culturally relevant therapy

Many couples prefer to speak with a marriage counselor who understands their culture and language. Some directories allow users to search for therapists by preferred language. For example, couples may be able to find a therapist who speaks French, Mandarin, Cantonese, Spanish, or Punjabi. Therapists trained in cultural competence may understand not only the language a couple speaks but also various cultural nuances that can heavily influence relationship dynamics, expectations of family members, and other factors. 

Online therapy for couples

Some couples might live in an area with few registered marriage therapists. Others may prefer to see a therapist outside their local community. In these cases, help is available via online therapy. Online marriage counseling allows couples to communicate with a therapist via audio, video, or live chat at a time that suits their schedule. With Regain, couples can be matched with one of thousands of therapists according to their preferences, including language, cultural background, and sexual orientation.

Individual therapy online

In some cases, one partner is not ready or willing to attend marriage counselling. In these cases, individual counselling can still help the other partner navigate relationship concerns, as well as any personal mental health challenges they’re experiencing, such as low self-esteem. With BetterHelp, individuals can be matched with a therapist from a network of more than 25,000 mental health professionals. In addition to weekly sessions, users can reach out to their therapists at any time through in-app messaging, and their therapists will generally respond as soon as they can. This feature may be especially helpful on days or nights when people experience distress about relationship concerns or mental health challenges.

In addition to offering flexible communication options, research suggests that online therapy can effectively treat numerous mental health conditions. One study found that online cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) was more effective than in-person CBT for symptoms of depression, which may be common in people experiencing serious relationship challenges.