What Is A Midlife Crisis: What You Need To Know
Midlife, deemed by most scientists as the period between ages 40-70, tends to find people thinking about mortality. Some people may make sudden life changes to reorient towards goals and dreams that they may want to accomplish before old age.
Within this period of change, you may experience a sudden awareness of mortality, which can lead to various coping mechanisms that may not be healthy or sustainable. These could include changes in careers, relationship status, spending habits, or workplace motivation.
If you’re experiencing nostalgia, melancholia, a heightened awareness of mortality, or life dissatisfaction, a therapist can help you unpack these emotions and develop healthy mechanisms to address them.
What is a midlife crisis?
Coined in the 1960s by a Canadian scientist named Elliot Jacques, a midlife crisis is defined by a feeling of regret, remorse, or anxiety over your mortality. Some people may feel overwhelmed by accomplishments they have not yet achieved or the direction of their lives.
Symptoms of midlife crises
People who experience a midlife crisis may exhibit some of these symptoms:
- Regret
- Obsessive reflection on memories
- Jealousy
- Change in sexual desire
- Heightened emotional state
- Increased rate of leisure travel
- Erratic behavior
- Drastic change in appearance
- Abrupt change in things like spending habits, career, or lifestyle
- Behaviors associated with hypochondria
For some, a midlife crisis can be a motivator to connect with family or friends, discover deeper forms of identity, or accomplish lifelong goals. Other people may find themselves making rash, unpredictable decisions that can be described as unhealthful. If you are unable to manage your symptoms on your own, you can seek the guidance of an online therapist, like the ones at BetterHelp, to help you build coping mechanisms that improve your well-being.
Causes of midlife crisis
Many factors can contribute to the development of a midlife crisis, including:
- Physical Aging: Common signs of aging, such as muscle aches and stiffness, provide reminders of declining physical capabilities.
- Career: If you’re not satisfied in your work, you may find yourself reflecting on missed opportunities for different career paths. You may also experience a specific type of workplace discrimination called ageism, which can negatively impact your mental health and provide barriers to opportunity.
- Relationship Struggles: Dissatisfaction in your relationship can lead you to question if you want something else or made the wrong choice. Men and women are both most likely to cheat on their spouse during midlife, which may indicate a midlife crisis.
- Children: If you have children, they are starting to get older, and realizing that your children are becoming independent adults can cause you to think about your own age and stage of life. Alternatively, if you never had children, you may feel upset that you didn't, or wonder if you made the right decision.
Mental health challenges from midlife crises
Mental health challenges should not be mocked, but midlife crises are not always taken seriously, and you may have even heard jokes about them before. For people experiencing symptoms of a midlife crisis, insensitive jokes are comments may contribute to feelings of isolation and difficulty seeking professional help. There are therapists who can help you navigate your symptoms and learn to recognize the good things that come with aging.
Aging can be demonized in our cultures. Older people are less represented in movies and media, and some may experience feelings of being left behind by society, or undesirable as they age. However, stereotypes about aging are often not true. For example, although some worry that their cognitive abilities drop off in middle age, studies consistently show that many people retain much of their abilities while gaining new cognitive improvements, such as a positive life outlook and reduced emotional fluctuations. Middle-aged people can find enrichment and opportunities for new personal growth. Life excitement and growth do not end after your twenties.
Improve your relationship with aging
Practicing some of these things can help you feel stronger and more positive as you grow older:
1. Self-care
Exercise can promote the release of endorphins and serotonin, and help your body stay physically healthy while improving your mental health and outlook on life.
2. Keep a journal
Dedicating time to reflect on your life and your ambitions routinely can help you stay motivated to continue working towards the best version of yourself. Studies have found that gratitude journals can improve your sleep quality, lower stress levels, decrease materialism, and improve your relationships.
3. Connect with loved ones
Your friends and family can be good resources to talk to when you’re confronted with the challenges of middle age. They may be able to offer suggestions or help remind you of the things you’ve accomplished.
4. Set realistic goals
Reflecting on mortality and life goals is not always a bad thing. Take time to evaluate the changes you want to make in life and assess which ones are realistic. For example, if you are dissatisfied with your job, you might want to apply to postings for jobs you’d prefer. Or, if you are encountering challenges in your relationship, you could ask your partner if they’d be willing to try couples counseling.
Seeking help
A midlife crisis is not a medical condition, and there is no specific way to treat it. But cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you identify negative thought patterns and unhealthy coping mechanisms while developing strategies to work towards greater life satisfaction and excitement. You can find in-person or online therapists that specialize in CBT.
One study of 1,500 patients enrolled in online CBT found no significant difference in effectiveness compared with in-person CBT. With online therapy, you can make sessions around your schedule, whether that’s before work or on weekends, and sessions tend to cost the same amount as a co-pay for in-person therapy.
Takeaway
What are the signs of a midlife crisis?
This type of crisis can look different for different people depending on their circumstances and mental health. That said, some common midlife crisis symptoms can include:
- Feelings of regret related to their own life
- Obsessive reflection on memories
- Increased feelings of jealousy
- Change in sexual desire
- Heightened emotional state
- Increased rate of leisure travel
- Erratic behavior
- Drastic changes in appearance
- Abrupt changes in things like spending habits, career path, or lifestyle
- Behaviors associated with hypochondria
Middle-aged adults experiencing this phase in life may also notice more specific physical symptoms such as weight gain, trouble sleeping, irritability, and difficulty concentrating.
What are four symptoms of a midlife crisis?
Four common symptoms of a midlife crisis can include obsessive reflection on memories, erratic behavior, a drastic change in appearance, and abrupt changes in spending habits, career, or lifestyle.
What are the three stages of a midlife crisis?
The first stage of a midlife crisis is often the experience of a life event or life events that trigger it. Examples could include ageism in the workplace, health concerns, more noticeable signs of the aging process and facing one’s own mortality, being aging parents, a change in physical abilities, or a major life event like a layoff or divorce.
The second stage is when symptoms of a midlife crisis may appear, such as obsessive reflection on memories, a significant change in appearance, and/or a heightened emotional state, for example. The third stage is when the crisis resolves or draws to a close, either naturally on its own or with the help of a therapist, which could take anywhere from months to years.
Do midlife crises go away?
Whether a midlife crisis will resolve on its own depends on its severity and the details of the situation. For example, some people may experience a mental health condition such as depression during or as a result of their crisis. A condition like this will typically not resolve on its own without the support of a mental health professional like a therapist.
Note, however, that anyone can see a therapist for emotional support, whether they're showing signs of a mental illness or not. For many middle-aged adults experiencing a midlife crisis, having the listening ear of a therapist can help them work through difficult emotions and gain a new perspective on their future. That’s why midlife crisis treatment options generally focus on some form of talk therapy. A therapist can offer a perspective shift to notice some of the positive aspects of aging and teach healthy coping skills for difficult changes and emotions that may arise.
What triggers a midlife crisis in men?
There are many different circumstances or events that could trigger a midlife crisis in an individual of any gender. Some examples include ageism in the workplace, a diagnosis of a serious illness or a near miss with a serious illness or injury, or a significant life change like a layoff or divorce.
Do females go through midlife crises?
People of all sexes and genders, including women, experience midlife crises.
What age is midlife for a man?
Parameters for what age range is considered to be “midlife” or “middle adulthood” can vary, but in general, it refers to people ages 40–65.
Is a midlife crisis a mental breakdown?
A midlife crisis can but does not always result in a mental health crisis. Some individuals experiencing a midlife crisis may end up feeling overwhelmed mentally and emotionally, which could be a result of or eventually result in depression, anxiety, or other conditions. A person who is concerned about the symptoms they’re experiencing —whether it’s you or an aging parent or other relative—is generally advised to seek the support of a mental health care professional.
What are the regrets of a midlife crisis?
Many people experiencing a midlife crisis go through a period of regret. They may become obsessive about reliving the positive memories they have and fixating on missed opportunities or decisions they wish they hadn’t made. Regret is a common part of the human experience. However, if it becomes overwhelming or you have difficulty functioning as a result, meeting with a therapist to process your feelings can be helpful.
Is midlife crisis a mental illness?
A midlife crisis on its own is not considered a diagnosable mental illness. However, it is possible for a person to concurrently experience or develop a mental illness while going through a midlife crisis, or as a result of one. Depression and anxiety disorders are two examples.
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