The world today is full of news about various catastrophic experiences and events. From natural disasters to intense violence, many of these events have no logical explanation for why one person survived and another didn't. If you lived through one of these events, you might be wondering, "Why did I live and that person didn't?" Those who live through these events often experience what is called survivor's guilt.
Survivor's guilt is defined as "feelings of guilt or turmoil after having survived a catastrophe that caused the death or serious injury of others." Initially, survivor's guilt was considered a stand-alone diagnosis. Today, however, it is classified under post-traumatic-stress-disorder (PTSD). Contrary to popular opinion, not everyone who experiences survivor's guilt is diagnosed with PTSD.
If you have experienced a traumatic event and have feelings of guilt or conflict after surviving, you are not alone. Survivor's guilt affects many individuals on different levels. Some research suggests that most people with survivor's guilt recover within the first year after the traumatic event, without having to seek outside treatment. However, there are times when outside help is needed. We'll discuss all these options later on in this article.
Who May Experience Survivor's Guilt?
People who may experience survivor's guilt include, but are not limited to:
Symptoms of Survivor's Guilt
Survivor's guilt can cause several symptoms. While individuals experience it differently, one common thing is a feeling of dread or doom associated with being the one who survived.
Common symptoms associated with survivor's guilt include:
Moving Forward from Survivor's Guilt
There are several tips for dealing with survivor's guilt. By implementing these tips, you may see a decrease in symptoms. However, if symptoms persist or become more intense, consider reaching out for professional help.
Do something good for others. Survivor's guilt is often associated with the regret of being unable to help someone who was harmed or died. Doing good things for others can have a positive impact on both you and the recipient of your good deed. You don't have to make some giant financial contribution or put yourself under strain. It is best to find an outlet that is meaningful and personal for you. This can vary from person to person. Simply making calls to check on people who are shut-ins, visiting with the elderly, or volunteering at a local event are all examples of doing good for others.
Connect with others. Talking with others about your feelings allows you to acknowledge what you went through and helps process your response. Talk to friends or loved ones, if they are understanding. If they are not supportive or find it difficult to understand your feelings, seek out local support groups that deal with trauma and stress-related incidents. If you are not yet comfortable talking face-to-face with others, there are online communities that allow members to ask questions and share their experiences.
Accept your own feelings. Survivor's guilt has a way of affecting an individual's outlook on every aspect of their life. Even if others don't see your guilt as a rational response, it is a normal response to some traumatic events. Take time to process your feelings. There are several emotions including grief, fear, and loss that accompany the guilt associated with a traumatic event or death. Remember, any time you feel like your feelings are overwhelming, seek help from a professional.
Take Care of Yourself! People who experience survivor's guilt often tend to neglect their own care. It may be related to the anxiety or depression that follows trauma. It may also be linked to an unsubstantiated thought pattern that leaves one to believe that they are unworthy of any special care. This is not true. Self-care is very important, especially during times of emotional difficulties. Eat a well-balanced diet, get plenty of rest, and try to meditate or journal. All of these things are ways to care for yourself and begin creating balance in your life once again.
When Is It Time to Get Help?
Wanting to handle the stress of survivor's guilt (or any other stress) on your own is not a bad thing. However, if you are overwhelmed or symptoms worsen, it is important to seek professional help. Counselors and therapists are trained to recognize emotional distress and can help you learn effective coping mechanisms.
With increased awareness about mental health and wellness, the availability of resources for care is on the rise. There are many options to choose from when it comes to choosing a path of wellness. There are in-house counseling centers that are part of larger health care corporations, private counseling centers, support groups, and online counseling options. Research shows that online therapy can play a powerful role in helping people process and recover from past trauma. An article published in BMC Psychiatry found that patients who participated in internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) experienced significant reductions in symptoms related to trauma. Over 5 weeks, participants reported reduced symptoms related to anxiety, dissociation, anxiety, and distress. The study’s authors noted that online CBT was a viable treatment for trauma-related conditions, and observed that the study had low levels of drop-out and high ratings of the therapeutic alliance by participants.
For some, the decision of which resource to use is easy. Others may need to research different options to find the best fit. If you are comfortable meeting with someone in a private setting and talking in person, seeking out a counseling center or private therapist may be the best option for you. If you prefer to be part of a group so that you don't feel singled out, a support group is a great way to go. On the other hand, if you prefer more privacy and desire to have more control over when and where you talk with someone, online counseling is a great way to get the help you need. Online therapy is convenient and accessible because it can be done from the comfort of your own home, and through modalities such as phone calls or live messaging.
Online counseling, such as that offered by BetterHelp, is aimed at giving clients the help necessary to overcome troubling life circumstances while maintaining a sense of personal control of how and when their therapy occurs. At BetterHelp, our staff of licensed and experienced counselors, social workers, and doctors will work with you to create a plan of care specific to your needs. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors, from people experiencing similar issues.
Counselor Reviews
"Rebecca has helped me talk about very personal things I have pushed aside for years, in doing so I've opened up and have had realisations about past experiences and has lifted guilt off me."
"When I first contacted BetterHelp, my brain was like a hamster on a wheel. Ashley Santana helped me identify the problems with control and guilt that really had me stuck. She reassured me that some of my feelings were valid and even normal. I feel lighter, more comfortable, and confident now. I sincerely recommend this counseling to everyone."
It's not uncommon for individuals to have questions or feel guilt after experiencing a traumatic event. The shock of these types of experiences can often feel debilitating. There are measures you can take to address the guilt and to begin living a guilt-free life. Help is available. Take the first step today.