What Is An Open Relationship Between Romantic Partners?

Some couples might decide they want to try being intimate with others. They might open their relationship to friends or even strangers on a dating app to improve their sex life or strengthen their emotional bond. This type of arrangement is called an open relationship. 

It can be possible for open relationships to be healthy, but they can also create challenges. If you or your partner wants to try an open relationship, it may be helpful to consider the reasoning behind this choice and your unique situation. In some cases, miscommunication, mismatched desires, and other challenges can make it difficult to be involved in a non-monogamous relationship. Individual or couples therapy may help. 

Open relationships or having more than one romantic or sexual partner at a time

An open relationship is a form of consensual non-monogamy. It can happen when two partners in a romantic partnership give each other permission to engage in sexual experiences with other partners outside of the relationship. In these partnerships, being intimate with multiple people may not be considered “cheating” the way it could be in a traditional relationship. 

Why do couples engage in open relationships?

Couples might open their partnership for various reasons, like exploring their sexuality or avoiding the pressures of a traditional relationship. Differing sex drives are another common reason. If one partner wants more intimacy than the other wants to give, non-monogamy may be a way to meet those needs without putting strain on the partnership. 

Open and non monogamous relationships

There are several types of non monogamous relationships. Couples may choose one over another based on their goals. Some examples include:

• Open relationship: In one of the most common arrangements, each partner may be free to pursue sexual activities with other people. Partners in this arrangement often stay emotionally committed to their primary intimate relationship, and they may not interact with the other person’s sexual partners. 
• Swinging: Swinging is a situation where people in a committed relationship have sexual contact with other people who are also in committed relationships. Swingers tend to meet in group settings like parties, where partners may bond and engage in group sex. 
• Hybrid: A hybrid relationship is a type of partnership where one person stays monogamous while the other person has relations with other people.
• Open marriage: An open marriage is an open relationship between married partners. Open marriages may have features of a standard or hybrid partnership.

Open relationships vs. polyamory

Some people may confuse an open relationship with polyamory, another type of nonmonogamous relationship. Perhaps the main difference between these is the level of emotional intimacy. In open partnerships, the couple often remains emotionally exclusive to their primary partner. In this type of open relationship, encounters with others may be purely physical. In a polyamorous relationship, someone may have sexual and romantic relationships with multiple committed partners, though they may have a primary emotional connection with one partner as well. 

Is a relationship with multiple partners healthy?

Potential advantages and drawbacks to an open relationship

You may be exploring the possibility of opening your partnership. If so, consideration of the potential benefits and challenges may be crucial.

Possible advantages of an open relationship can include:

• A greater sense of flexibility and sexual freedom
• Higher sexual satisfaction when partners have different sex drives
• Improved communication between partners (through check-ins and healthy boundary-setting)
• Less pressure to be exclusive than in monogamous relationships
• The ability for partners to explore their sexuality, desires, and needs

Potential downsides of having a relationship with more than one person can include:

• Jealousy
• Different levels of investment
• The potential to develop romantic feelings for someone else
• Having less time to spend with one’s original partner
• A higher risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs)

The importance of communication in an open relationship

These arrangements could require honest communication with the primary partner (and with all partners), including discussions about emotional boundaries and sexual health. Foregoing good communication may leave room for negative feelings to thrive.

Thinking carefully about these factors can be a first step in exploring a new arrangement. Understanding non-monogamous relationships is a great place to start — discuss what opening your partnership means to you.

The role of the primary relationship

In open relationships, there is typically one primary relationship and one or more secondary relationships. It may be important to establish roles and boundaries for each of these different types of relationships. 

What a primary relationship means

A primary relationship can mean different things to different couples. For example, it may mean that you only cohabitate with your primary partner or that the emotional connection is reserved just for the two of you. In some cases, commitment may also exist exclusively within the primary relationship, while secondary partners may come and go. 

Protecting the core bond

Protecting the core bond in the primary relationship may be key to a successful open relationship. There may be many ways to accomplish this, including: 

• Starting with a solid foundation of trust, respect, and mutual understanding
• Prioritizing time spent together without the presence of other romantic partners
• Reserving certain activities (sexual or non-sexual) for just the two of you
• Practicing clear communication to mitigate jealousy, fear, and other negative emotions
• Renegotiating rules and boundaries to come to a new understanding if, at one point or another, the arrangement isn’t meeting both partners’ emotional needs
• Prioritizing your core partner’s happiness and well-being, even if that means breaking it off with a new partner

A licensed professional therapist or relationship counselor can help you take steps to preserve the emotional connection in your primary relationship. 

The right relationship for you

The decision to start a non-monogamous partnership is often personal. Because no two couples are the same, what works for one might not work for another. Reflection may be beneficial if you are interested in starting an open partnership in a healthy manner. Consider asking yourself and your partner the following questions: 

• Are my partner and my communication skills strong? Are we able to be open and honest with each other?
• Are my partner and I emotionally committed to each other?
• Do I want this as much as my partner does? Is one of us less comfortable with the idea than the other?
• Do I trust my partner to practice safe sex and bring any issues to my attention?
• What are our reasons for considering this? Are we doing it to “save our relationship” or avoid addressing difficult topics?
• Do I have any doubts or reservations that I haven’t brought up with my partner?

Doubting whether having more than one romantic or sexual partner in a relationship is something you want

If you have doubts about starting a non-monogamous partnership, bring them up with your partner. Being pressured or hoping to save your relationship may not be healthy reasons to enter into this arrangement. It may also be helpful to note that successful relationships generally have boundaries—including successful open relationships.

Setting boundaries

Support options for open communication

Talking to a professional may be helpful if you’re unsure if a non monogamous relationship is a good idea. Couples therapy may be able to help you and your partner explore potential pitfalls in a nonjudgmental space. One-on-one therapy can also be helpful if you want to talk about stress or anxiety regarding your relationship. 

Online therapy for open communication

Does online therapy actually work?

Online counseling may be an effective alternative to in-person therapy. In a 2022 study, researchers studied 30 couples participating in either face-to-face or online relationship counseling. They found that the online treatment led to improvements in mental health and relationship satisfaction.