Fun And Easy Things To Talk About With Your Crush Early On
Trying to ask your crush out but struggling to keep the conversation flowing? Engaging in great conversation starters can be a fun way to help you connect with the person you're interested in and make a great first impression. Discover your crush's hobbies and favorite TV show to feel more confident and prepared for a successful chat. Dive into deep questions and conversation topics to reveal your true self and keep them intrigued.
It’s human nature to be nervous when trying to connect with someone you’re interested in. Read on for a few tips that may help you feel more confident and prepared to have a light-hearted, fun, successful chat with your crush.
Conversation starters: Your dream job, favorite childhood memory, and more
Finding mutual interests and common ground is crucial for breaking the ice and easing into a conversation with your crush. If you're unsure about their likes and dislikes, try keeping the conversation light and using conversation starters about their childhood memories, dream job, favorite TV show, or guilty pleasure. Explore their responses to identify points of connection, helping you foster trust and keep the conversation flowing. By delving into interesting things to talk about with your crush, you'll create a comfortable atmosphere for both of you.
For example, if they're from another city you've visited, share your favorite memories or holiday traditions from your trip. If your friend works in the same industry, discuss interesting insights or their biggest pet peeve about the field. If they have a hobby you're curious about, ask for advice on getting started or inquire about their weirdest fear related to it.
Some other things that can help you fill the awkward silence include:
- What do they think is the most annoying song?
- What is their favorite movie?
- What’s their favorite way to spend their free time?
- Are they a night owl or a morning person?
- How did they meet their best friend?
- Do they know any funny jokes? What’s the funniest joke they know?
- What’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for them?
- What’s the funniest thing they’ve ever seen?
- What is their most embarrassing moment?
- Who’s their favorite fictional character or historical figure?
- What was their school life like?
- What’s their favorite meal?
- In a fictional world, would they live underwater or out in space?
- What’s the most interesting thing about them?
- What’s their most prized possession?
- What’s the silliest thing they’ve ever done?
- What’s their favorite drink to have at the bar?
It makes good sense to opt for open-ended questions to encourage deep conversation, and don't forget to be an attentive listener. According to an article in the International Journal of Listening, active listeners show engaged body language, avoid judgment, and ask clarifying questions to demonstrate genuine interest in their responses.
Ultimately, engaging others by asking about their lives and interests is a timeless approach backed by science. Discussing their favorite childhood memory, celebrity crushes, favorite books, or even some of their weird habits can stimulate dopamine release, creating a feel-good experience. People value sharing information and thoughts, so focusing on their personality type or preferences while maintaining respectful boundaries can be an excellent starting point to deepen your connection. Asking the person about themselves, their life, what they like, and what they think—taking care to not be too invasive while you’re just getting to know them, of course—can be a great place to start when talking about things.
Things to talk about to flirt with your crush
A 2020 study about flirting states that it’s “an essential aspect of human interaction and key for the formation of intimate relationships.” If you have a crush interested in potentially developing a romantic relationship, a bit of flirting and flirty questions can help signal your desire and build rapport. However, it’s generally important to avoid appearing aggressive in this process so you don’t send the wrong message. A flirty dynamic typically builds over time, so paying attention to your crush's preferences and not coming on too strong can show them that you have good judgment and emotional intelligence.
The study cited above identifies three key components or practices that its participants rated as most effective when it comes to flirting. These are:
Having good non-verbal behavior, such as positive, open body language
Being intelligent, which can manifest as being able to hold a deep topic conversation and showing interest in the other person
A gentle approach, as discussed above, in regards to not being too aggressive
One of the most important things to talk about when flirting with someone you like is to monitor how they seem to be reacting. If they try to end the conversation, display closed-off body language, or otherwise seem uncomfortable, you may want to pull back. Respect is one of the most important things in this type of interaction.
The importance of knowing and accepting yourself
Knowing and being your true self can help you feel more comfortable in social interactions and be a stronger conversational partner, whether you’re speaking to your crush or anyone else. First of all, research shows that authenticity is “positively linked to measures of subjective happiness, self-esteem, and life satisfaction.” One reason might be that those who know and accept themselves may be more confident in who they are, which others can pick up on and may even be drawn to while spending time together.
Getting to know and accepting yourself is often a journey, not something you can do overnight—but it can have far-reaching benefits in your life. Introspection through activities like journaling or mindfulness meditation may help you get in touch with your most authentic self. Therapy is another method since a therapist may be able to help you uncover false patterns of thinking about yourself or unearth other obstacles to self-love that may exist. Engaging in a favorite hobby, eating your favorite food, watching a TV show, or even talking about your parents' relationship in a serious discussion can provide insights into your inner workings, your identity, and your preferences.
Nervousness vs. social anxiety when talking to your crush
Talking to someone you’re romantically interested in can be a bit nerve-wracking for many people, whether you meet them in person or through a dating app. However, if the nervousness you feel when thinking about or going into conversations like these takes the form of or escalates into high anxiety, there may be other factors at play.
Social anxiety is a mental health condition that makes social interaction more difficult or nearly impossible for those who experience it. It’s characterized by mental and/or physical symptoms of anxiety in relation to social interaction, such as nausea, rapid heartbeat, fear of being negatively judged or perceived, and even avoidance of social situations as a result. Discussing topics like your favorite tattoo or unrealistic dream job might help ease the tension, but if you prefer calling instead of texting, it's essential to communicate that to the other person. If you think you might be experiencing social anxiety, speaking with a therapist can be a useful tool in managing your symptoms.
How therapy can help you find things to talk about
Striking up a conversation with your crush can be more difficult if you’re experiencing negative self-talk, feelings of hopelessness, difficulty concentrating, or other symptoms of depression—and likewise with feeling restless, irritable, having difficulty controlling levels of worry, or other symptoms of anxiety. The same goes for social anxiety and other mental health conditions as well. A therapist may be able to help people with these conditions shift their thought patterns and otherwise manage their symptoms. However, even those who do not have a mental health condition may benefit from therapy. It can help you build self-esteem and stronger communication skills, get to know yourself, and learn other tools for making connections, having meaningful conversations, and building healthy relationships.
Research also suggests that virtual therapy can be just as effective as in-person sessions. With a virtual therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can get connected with a licensed mental health professional who you can communicate with via phone call, video call, and/or chat from the comfort of your own home. Online and in-person therapy are both viable, valuable options for receiving care. Generally, the important thing is to choose the method that feels right for you.
Takeaway
Having interesting conversations with someone you find attractive or a romantic interest is generally a good way to get to know them and develop a deeper connection. Knowing and accepting yourself, asking them about themselves, and knowing when to seek help if you suspect you may be experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition like depression or social anxiety are tips that may help you along the way.
Keeping a conversation going with your crush is an important part of getting to know them better and discovering who they are. It is also a good chance for you to give them a better idea about who you are. However, it can be challenging to keep the conversation going when you run out of things to talk about with your crush.
To continue a meaningful conversation with your crush, one strategy is to listen carefully and ask follow-up questions. Although you may start with simple small talk-type questions, eventually you may want to ask more deep questions as these tend to lead to longer-lasting and more interesting conversations.
Here are 21 questions that can spark meaningful conversations and a deeper connection between you and your crush:
- What's something about which you're really passionate?
- If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
- What's the most adventurous thing you've ever done?
- Do you have a favorite childhood memory that stands out?
- What kind of music do you listen to when you're in a great mood?
- If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?
- What's the last book or movie that made a significant impact on you?
- What's your favorite food?
- If you could meet any historical figure, who would it be and what would you ask them?
- What's something you've always wanted to learn but haven't had the chance to?
- Do you believe in destiny or do you think we create our own paths?
- What's a dream you've never shared with anyone?
- If you could spend a day with any celebrity, who would it be and why?
- What's a skill or talent you're proud of that not many people know about?
- What's your favorite way to unwind and relax after a long day?
- If you were to describe your perfect date, what would it look like?
- What's something you're working on improving about yourself?
- If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?
- What's the most unusual or unique place you've ever visited?
- If you could only keep three possessions, what would they be?
- What's the most important quality you look for in a friend or partner?
Impressing a crush through conversation is possible but involves a balance between being authentic, attentive, and engaging. Showing a genuine interest in what your crush is saying is important. It can be human nature to want to jump in and share, but listening attentively shows that you care about what your crush is saying. While listening smile and maintain eye contact, this shows that you are interested and a great smile is one thing that many individuals find attractive.
When it is your turn to talk, you may want to stay positive, add in comments showing that you remember what your crush was talking about, and share personal stories. In any conversation it is important to have a good back and forth between individuals. One thing that your crush is unlikely to enjoy is having you dominate the conversation.
Questions that can make someone blush tend to be a bit flirtatious or playful. However, it's important to approach such questions with sensitivity and respect for the other person's comfort level. Here are some questions that might lead to a blush:
- "Do you ever get shy around someone to whom you're attracted?"
- "What's the most romantic thing you've ever done for someone?"
- "If you had to describe your ideal date, what would it be?"
- "What's your favorite physical feature about yourself?"
- "Have you ever had a crush on a friend?"
- "What's the sweetest compliment you've received recently?"
- "Do you believe in love at first sight?"
- "What's the most memorable moment you've shared with someone about whom you care?"
- "If you were to write a love letter now, to whom would it be addressed?"
- "What's the most exciting thing you think could happen between us?"
- "If we were to go on a spontaneous adventure together, where would you want to go?"
- "What's something you've always wanted to ask me but haven't?"
- "Do you believe in fate bringing people together?"
- "What's the most romantic gesture you can imagine?"
- "What's your idea of a perfect kiss?"
Remember, these questions are meant to evoke a blush in a playful and light-hearted way. Always be attentive to the other person's reactions and boundaries. If they seem uncomfortable or unwilling to engage, it's important to respect their feelings and steer the conversation in a different direction.
Getting closer to your crush involves building a genuine connection while being respectful of their boundaries. Focus on spending more time together in settings that allow for deeper conversations and shared experiences. Initiate friendly outings, group activities, or casual hangouts that give you both opportunities to interact and get to know each other better. Engage in conversations that reveal your interests, actively listen to their stories, and show genuine curiosity about their life.
It is also important to be supportive and attentive to their needs. Offer help when they need it, remember important dates or events in their life, and show empathy when they share their thoughts or emotions. Be a reliable and trustworthy friend, and gradually share more about yourself as well. Gradually increasing the level of personal connection can naturally bring you closer. Keep in mind that patience is key; don't rush the process. Allow your relationship to evolve at its own pace and pay attention to their comfort level.
Whether you met through a dating app or through a friend, finding the best topic about which to chat with your crush may seem difficult. It is important to understand that there may not be any single best topic for you to discuss. Rather, it is important to take time to understand who your crush is and get to know them. By engaging in conversation on many topics you can start to see who you crush is and show them who you are.
A good place to start is with common interests, by talking about common interests you open the door for other engaging topics. It also may lead to an easy way for you to suggest a date, if you are at that point. For example, if you and your crush both like art, you may suggest going to a local art exhibit.
The questions to ask your crush depend on how close you are to them already. If you are friends, it may be easy to ask deeper questions, however, if you are just getting to know each other it may be best to stick with simple questions such as:
- Are you a morning person or a night owl?
- What is your favorite movie and why do you like it?
- What is the funniest joke you know?
- Do you enjoy watching sports?
- If you could pick any theme song, what song would you use?
- Tell me one interesting thing about yourself.
- Do you have a favorite season?
Overcoming shyness when talking to your crush requires a combination of self-confidence and practice. Start by reminding yourself of your positive qualities and acknowledging that you have something valuable to offer in the conversation. Take deep breaths to calm your nerves before approaching them. Initiate the conversation with a friendly smile and maintain eye contact, which can help convey your confidence.
Engaging in light and casual topics can ease the initial tension. Ask about their interests, hobbies, or opinions on subjects you both enjoy. Focus on active listening, which can help divert your attention from your shyness and make the conversation flow more naturally. The more you practice talking to your crush, the more comfortable and confident you'll become. Remember, they're likely just as human and fallible as you are, so be kind to yourself and aim for genuine connections rather than perfection.
Yes, a crush can potentially lead to love. Crushes often mark the initial stage of romantic attraction, characterized by strong feelings of admiration, infatuation, and excitement about someone. Over time, as you get to know the person better and share more experiences, these feelings can evolve into deeper emotions, forming a foundation for love to grow.
Love is typically built on a stronger and more profound connection that goes beyond surface-level attraction. It involves caring deeply for someone's well-being, understanding their flaws, and appreciating their qualities on a deeper level. As you spend more time with your crush and develop a meaningful bond, the emotional connection can develop into a genuine and lasting love.
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