Some Good Things To Talk About With Your Crush To Get Them To Like You

By: Michael Arangua

Updated October 07, 2021

Medically Reviewed By: Audrey Kelly, LMFT

Do you have someone that you’re interested in but can’t seem to think of anything to say? Maybe you resist talking to them because you feel that you don’t have anything in common.

Yes, finding things to talk about with your crush can be difficult, and maybe even stressful. That’s why it’s a smart idea to prepare in advance for the next time you see your crush, so that you can have a variety of topics in mind and not keep him or her waiting. Now mind you, this doesn’t mean you should rehearse conversations. Conversation requires interaction. If you spend too much time rehearsing what to say, you will leave your crush out of the conversation entirely and create an awkward dynamic.

Instead, think practically about the kind of conversation your crush can contribute to so that you can create a smooth exchange of dialog.

Things to Talk About with Your Crush that are Safe

1. Anything You Might Have in Common

here are some things to talk about with your crush
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The safest conversation is one where you merely ask about or make statements of, things you both have in common. You won’t always get this opportunity because you don’t always know what you have in common, at least at first. But sometimes you get the opportunity if you see that your crush likes the same restaurant as you do, or likes the same sports, or knows some of the same friends. This is an instantly “safe” conversation that can help you build a foundation of trust with this person. You’re no longer a “stranger” once you start finding common ground.

2. Compliments

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Compliments are expected in dating conversation, so if your crush is obviously interested in you physically (demonstrated by friendly gestures and undivided attention), and the attraction is mutual, giving him/her a compliment is a good way to start dating communication. However, this is not always a wise move, particularly if your crush is always being complimented and is generally considered “beautiful” or above average by your peers. A better idea might be to avoid giving him/her direct compliments about their body and instead compliment their fashion choice, their work (or art), or something unique about the individual.

3. Talk about Your Crush’s Interests

If you can’t think of anything to say, then, focus on listening and getting your crush to talk about him or her. We’re all a little selfish when it comes to discussing our own feelings, opinions, life experiences, and philosophies. Most people are probably eager to tell somebody about their life, problems, and opinions. Why not create a friendly rapport with your crush, letting them know you are always ready to listen?

A Time magazine article used Dale Carnegie’s philosophy to explain the idea of listening. The most captivating people in life are not necessarily showman, but good listeners-they are the people who evoke others to speak from the heart and to confide in a new friend. In theory then, you’re not looking for conversations that are generic and respectable, but topics that your crush is passionate about. That will get them thinking, talking and feeling.

If you really want to find things to talk about with your crush, start with something you both have in common, followed by a compliment, and then proceed naturally onto things they really care about. This is what good conversation means!

Want to talk about your experiences more with someone that can help? Talk to us at BetterHelp.com to speak with a live and qualified counselor immediately.

Talk with your crush about who you are. At some point, you’ll have to relax and just be yourself. Every reaction with them can’t be nerve-wracking or stressful; that would be unhealthy to feel like you have to put on a performance in their presence. It’s fair to want to make a good impression on your crush but you shouldn’t be feeling on edge every time you meet.

If you’re talking to your crush to make you feel worthwhile, to feel happy, to rescue from a bored or unhappy life, to make you feel complete or whole, those needs are never going to meet by any other person than yourself. Because placing those demands on your crush will set you and them up for failure. You and your crush deserve to feel good about who you are. A healthy relationship is when two people validate and affirm who each person is and not who they wish the other person was.

More Things to Talk About With Your Crush

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Look deep within yourself to discover what you like and share that with them. They will have more satisfying interactions with you if you understand what fulfills you. Look for things that bring out the best in you and you will make them feel safe and secure with you. They will feel more comfortable with you which will set you up for a more lasting relationship.

You’re not the only one who believes that your crush has the looks and personality that seem ideal for a partner to possess. Take the time to really know them. You will not know if they will be good for the long run unless you talk to them. This will keep you from settling prematurely on someone that you may not know much about but have based their perception on a fantasy. Be compassionate with yourself as you struggle to relate with your crush. And be encouraging to yourself, you are worthy of continuing to try this pursuit.

Use self-motivation and affirm your lovability instead of condemning yourself or your feelings. If you feel high anxiety around your crush it could be because they make you feel inadequate and critique yourself. Scrutinizing yourself negatively and reacting extremely to your flaws can make you more prone to depression. We all have flaws which we must accept to move forward.

If anything replaying these negative thoughts over and over again will drag you down and influence you to not be your best self in front of your crush. You may without realizing it slump your shoulders, make poor eye contact and first impressions. You will just keep dragging yourself down the more you pay attention to these negative self-thoughts. Inadvertently sabotaging your romantic pursuit. Challenge this thought process by writing down your positive attributes and looking at them before interacting with your crush.

Overcome this toxic self-criticism and understand it as a negative coping skill you’ve developed. More realistically, infatuation is known to cause negative feelings such as nervousness, anxiety, and insecurity. Why beat yourself up for something everyone goes through? It’s important to recognize this process, so stay in touch with your own emotions and push through.

If you’re searching for things to talk about with your crush, look no further. We have relationship guides, advice articles, and all the information you need to start healthy, supportive, fun relationships. If you’d like further support with relationships or anything else, speak with a BetterHelp therapist today.


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