Boundaries In Therapy: What Are They And How Can You Set Them?

The relationship between a therapist and their client is unlike any other. Therapy can be a place for a client to open up, discuss their personal struggles, and take steps toward improving their life. But this can only work if the relationship stays effective and safe. If you’re a therapist, keeping things professional is key—and that starts with setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. 

What is the therapeutic alliance?

The unique relationship between a therapist and their client is sometimes called the “therapeutic alliance.” According to the American Psychological Association, the therapeutic alliance is “a cooperative working relationship…considered by many to be an essential aspect of successful therapy.” A client may confide personal or sensitive information to their therapist. They may let themselves be vulnerable in ways they wouldn’t—or couldn’t—be with other people. But this depends on keeping the dynamic professional and safe. 

A successful therapeutic alliance often means collaborating with a client on treatment goals and working together to achieve them. This can require:

• Time
• Discretion
• Respect
• Open communication
• Effort on both sides

What makes each of these things possible? Setting boundaries.

Boundaries are the ground rules that people set for themselves and their relationships. These can take many forms. “I don’t answer my phone after 6 p.m.” is an example of a time boundary. “I don’t want people getting too close to me” is an example of a physical boundary. Maintaining boundaries can be a key part of healthy relationships—and therapeutic relationships are no exception. In the next section, we’ll explore the concept of boundaries in therapy. 

Why boundaries are important for the therapeutic alliance

Given what we know about the therapeutic alliance, it can be easy to see why boundaries may be needed. Establishing boundaries with a client can help keep the relationship professional, healthy, and effective. This can be important for the mental health of both the therapist and the client. 

Some of the ways boundaries may benefit the therapeutic relationship include:

• Making it easier for clients to open up
• Keeping the focus on helping the client
• Preventing the therapist from misusing their power
• Helping clients maintain their independence
• Ensuring the therapist only has their client’s best interests at heart

Similarly, a lack of clear boundaries can also be a problem. At best, this can make it harder to form a therapeutic alliance. At worst, it can actively cause harm by:

• Blurring the lines between therapy and life
• Making a client dependent on their therapist
• Letting the therapist exploit their client, or vice versa
• Creating unrealistic expectations
• Making treatment less effective

Setting healthy boundaries early in the therapy process may help prevent these issues. 

Types of boundary violations

Even keeping these things in mind, it can sometimes still be hard to identify boundary violations in therapy. They can be subtle, and if you’re highly invested in helping your client, you may not notice them right away. Below are some examples of ways a therapist might violate professional boundaries:

• Violating personal space: Outside of gestures like handshakes, it is usually inappropriate for a therapist to physically touch their client. Although some types of therapy may involve physical touch, this is only in specific situations, and consent is still a priority. Any inappropriate or sexual contact is a major boundary violation. 
• Dual relationships: A “dual relationship” describes a situation where a therapist has a second type of relationship with their client outside of therapy. For example, if a therapist is also their client’s coworker, business partner, friend, or romantic partner, this would be a dual relationship. This can make it hard for the therapist to stay objective and professional. 
• Self-d*sclosure: “Self-d*sclosure” describes a therapist giving out information about themselves or their life with a client. While this may not always violate boundaries, it can be important not to overshare. If the information is irrelevant or inappropriate, it may create an issue. 
• Exploiting the relationship: In a therapeutic relationship, the therapist is often in a position of power. Exploiting this power is a boundary violation. Some examples of this might include blackmailing a client with what they’ve said in a therapy session, manipulating them into getting unneeded treatments, or taking advantage of them financially. 

A client may also violate their therapist’s professional and personal boundaries by doing things like:

• Violating personal space: Just like touching can violate boundaries if a therapist does it, it is also a problem if a client touches their therapist inappropriately or without consent. Unless physical touch is part of the treatment, it is generally best to keep touching to a minimum. 
• Violating time boundaries: Therapists have personal lives, which means they also have personal limits in terms of their schedules. Disrupting a therapist’s schedule by arriving at their office unannounced or constantly being late can be disrespectful of these limits.
• Overly personal questions: Just like therapists have to set boundaries on what they discuss with clients, clients should also avoid prying into their therapists’ lives. Asking personal questions or making conversation that’s not relevant to the therapy can make it harder to keep the relationship professional. 
• Overstepping the relationship: It can be natural for a client to feel a sense of trust and attachment toward their therapist, but it’s important to keep things professional. If a client makes small talk outside sessions, tries to meet up in a different setting, or treats their therapist like a friend, this can risk creating a dual relationship. Making romantic advances toward one’s therapist is also unacceptable. 

It may be worth remembering that the items listed above are just examples, and boundary violations can take many forms. If something doesn’t feel right, it is often best to err on the side of caution. 

How to set healthy boundaries as a therapist

Whether you’re a new therapist or you’ve been practicing for a while, you may be curious how to establish healthy boundaries with your clients (and maintain them). No matter your level of experience, the following tips may be helpful:

• Be professional at all times, even outside official therapy sessions. 
• Communicate your boundaries clearly. Set expectations early, and give your clients a chance to communicate their own boundaries.
• Stick to a consistent schedule. Try to avoid letting sessions run too long past their scheduled end times, and enforce your scheduling policies. If a client wants to talk outside your working hours, gently but firmly offer them an alternative.  
• Keep a professional distance from clients during in-person sessions.
• Seek feedback from supervisors or coworkers if you run into a situation about which you’re uncertain.
• Respect your clients’ independence and agency. 
• Make time for yourself away from work. Practice self-care, spend time on non-therapy relationships, and try to avoid letting your work extend into your personal life. 

Even if you do all these things, it can sometimes still be hard to set and maintain boundaries as a therapist. Pushback and concern about clients can add an additional layer of stress to this process. This may contribute to issues like burnout, which can cause physical and mental symptoms while also making it harder to do your job. 

Getting your own therapist may be a way to discuss professional concerns with someone who understands what you’re experiencing. That said, if you’re a therapist with a busy schedule, it can be hard to make time to see a counselor in person. Online therapy platforms allow you to attend therapy from wherever is most convenient. 

Studies have shown that online therapy may be an effective treatment for burnout and other symptoms that therapists may experience. In a 2022 study, researchers analyzed the effectiveness of web-based therapy on 25 professionals at a moderate to high risk of burnout. Compared to a control group, risk levels fell significantly for those who received online therapy.

Takeaway

The therapeutic alliance is the unique relationship between a therapist and their client. Violating physical, time, or professional boundaries can damage the trust and safety of this relationship. If you’re a therapist, it can be important to set and maintain these boundaries by communicating openly, keeping your personal life separate from therapy, and staying consistent. If this is challenging or stressful, you may also benefit from getting a therapist of your own.