ADHD And Parenthood: I Have No Patience For My ADHD Child
Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, frequently referred to as ADHD, can be defined as a serious neurological condition affecting the brain and nervous system. Children with this condition may be hyperactive, restless, impulsive, and defiant. They might not exhibit appropriate behavior in certain situations, such as running around the room at a funeral or causing disruptions in the classroom.
As such, parents of a child with ADHD might find themselves sensing that they don’t have the necessary patience for their ADHD child. They might feel stressed or experience poor mental health due to the demands of raising a child with ADHD. Coping strategies, such as educating yourself, embracing acceptance, and building a strong relationship with your child, may be beneficial. Parents experiencing burnout may also find it helpful to seek insight and guidance from a licensed therapist in their local area or through an online therapy platform.
Signs of ADHD in children
ADHD is often noticed and diagnosed in childhood. Many of what are often interpreted as behavioral problems in children are, in fact, ADHD symptoms. You might notice that your child’s behavior is more restless and hyperactive than that of their peers during playdates, or perhaps your child’s teacher is continually reprimanding them for being distracted in class. There can be numerous signs of ADHD in children, and this is why it can be crucial to seek a diagnosis and treatment if you believe your child could be living with this disorder.
Some signs of ADHD in children can include the following:
- Inattentiveness
- Difficulty focusing
- Difficulty finishing projects
- Frequently making seemingly careless mistakes
- Hyperactivity
- Difficulty sitting still
- Impulsive behavior
- Impatience
- Intense emotional reactions
Understanding burnout from ADHD parenting
Many people experience parental burnout at some point in their lives, particularly if they are raising a child with ADHD or another condition that can come with additional challenges.
Feelings of burnout may negatively impact a parent’s mental health, potentially contributing to guilt or low self-esteem. However, parents experiencing burnout are not alone. One study found that up to 66% of parents may be struggling with parental burnout.
Burnout typically stems from physical and emotional exhaustion, which can then be followed by a gradual emotional distancing from one’s children and a lack of fulfillment in parenting.
Understanding burnout resulting from ADHD parenting usually requires the acknowledgment of some of the difficulties of parents of children with ADHD. Some parents have reported feelings of burnout due to the following reasons:
- Anxiety
- Physical demands of parenting
- Financial burden
- Outside judgment of themselves and their child’s situation due to the stigma surrounding ADHD
- Feeling a constant need to be “on” for their child’s condition
Parents of a child with ADHD who are experiencing parental burnout might find themselves raising their voices, lashing out, and easily becoming irritated with their child. In some cases, they might develop unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance or alcohol misuse. They might want to avoid parental obligations entirely or find themselves resenting other parents who are not raising a child with ADHD. It can be beneficial to seek professional help if you think you could be experiencing parental burnout.
Coping with ADHD parental burnout
Those experiencing parental burnout might have a bleak or negative outlook on the situation. There can be many struggles and obstacles that come with raising a child who has ADHD, and it can be normal to feel stressed and overwhelmed at times.
Below are several potential coping strategies for individuals with ADHD parental burnout.
Embrace acceptance
First, it may be helpful to acknowledge and accept your child's ADHD as a part of who they are. You might strive to embrace their unique qualities and strengths, recognizing that ADHD does not define them.
Connect with others
You may find it supportive and enlightening to join a support group for parents of children with ADHD. Sharing experiences and insights with others who understand exactly what you’re going through can relieve some of the stress and feelings of isolation you may be experiencing. Meeting others who are in similar situations can empower you to build a network of people who understand and encourage you.
Practice self-care
It can be vital to prioritize your own well-being so that you have the capacity to support your child in the way they deserve. Try to take time for yourself to engage in activities that help you relax or bring you joy. You might also consider seeking professional support in the form of therapy if your mental health has been impacted by your parental responsibilities.
Try mindfulness and positive thinking strategies
Mindfulness, or focusing only on the moment at hand, can help you remain present and manage stress. You may also find it helpful to focus on your child’s successes and strengths. Try to cultivate a positive outlook and develop a mindset that emphasizes growth and progress.
Build a strong relationship with your child
Having a healthy, open relationship with your child in which there is a sense of trust and mutual understanding can be beneficial for both of you. Establish clear channels of communication and encourage your child to share their thoughts and feelings.
Watch for co-occurring conditions
It can be common for individuals with ADHD to live with other co-occurring conditions, such as sleep and mood disorders. If you notice potential symptoms of other disorders, it can be prudent to inform your child’s care team so that they can recommend appropriate treatment options.
Seek professional help
You might consult a variety of professionals, such as therapists, psychologists, and others in the healthcare field, to learn more about ADHD and to seek effective treatment for your child. It may also be helpful to collaborate with your child’s educators to ensure your child has a supportive environment at school.
Educate yourself
When parenting a child with ADHD, knowledge can be power. Learning as much as you can about ADHD, its symptoms, potential coping strategies, and treatment options can arm you with the information you need to succeed. It can also enable you to advocate for your child as necessary.
Establish structure and routine
Children with ADHD can greatly benefit from having a regular routine and plenty of structure in their lives. Try to create a predictable daily routine to foster a sense of stability and consistency for your child. When you ask them to do chores or other tasks, break them down into manageable steps and set clear expectations.
Celebrate small victories
Be sure to acknowledge and celebrate your child’s achievements and successes, no matter how small they may be. Providing them with plenty of positive reinforcement can boost their self-esteem and motivation.
Remember, every child tends to be unique, and finding the right combination of strategies may require patience and flexibility. It can be important not to be hard on yourself if you experience feelings of parental burnout. This can be normal for all parents, and its symptoms are often heightened for parents of children with ADHD.
How therapy can help
One potential avenue of relief for parents raising a child with ADHD is therapy. There may be a variety of therapy styles and options at your disposal that can give you guidance on healthy coping strategies for managing parental burnout. A licensed therapist may also be able to provide helpful resources, such as assistance options for families that may be financially strained by caring for a child with ADHD.
Individual therapy and family therapy can be beneficial resources to explore. Meanwhile, behavioral therapy can help children with ADHD replace negative behaviors and thought patterns with positive ones that can promote good mental health and a productive lifestyle.
Online therapy can be another resource for parents of a child with ADHD. Connecting with a licensed professional through an online therapy platform may offer parents the flexibility they need to work around their schedules and receive the support they deserve.
According to a 2022 controlled trial, online psychotherapy has the potential to treat and reduce the risk of burnout. It may be a valid form of treatment for individuals experiencing parental burnout.
Takeaway
ADHD can be a serious neurological condition that impacts the daily lives of those who experience it. It can be difficult for children to experience, as well as for parents raising a child with ADHD. Many parents experience parental burnout due to the demands of raising a child with ADHD, but there are many resources available to relieve the impacts of this mental health concern. Using coping strategies like connecting with others and practicing self-care can be helpful, and working with a licensed therapist online or in-person can provide more personalized guidance and support.
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