ADHD And Parenthood: Tips for Parenting A Child With ADHD Symptoms

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, frequently referred to as ADHD, can be defined as a serious neurological condition affecting the brain and nervous system. Children with this condition may be hyperactive, restless, impulsive, and defiant. They might not exhibit appropriate behavior in certain situations, such as running around the room at a funeral or causing disruptions in the classroom. 

As such, parents of a child with ADHD may face unique challenges. They might find themselves sensing that they don’t have the necessary patience for their ADHD child. They might feel stressed or experience poor mental health due to the demands of raising a child with ADHD. Coping strategies, such as educating yourself, embracing acceptance, and building a strong relationship with your child, may be beneficial for family life. Parents experiencing burnout may also find it helpful to seek insight and guidance from a licensed therapist in their local area or through an online therapy platform.

ADHD symptoms and signs in children

ADHD is often noticed and diagnosed in childhood, often around the time kids are in elementary school. Many of what are often interpreted as behavioral problems in children are, in fact, ADHD symptoms. You might notice that your child’s behavior is more restless and hyperactive than that of their peers during playdates, or perhaps your child’s teacher is continually reprimanding them for being distracted in class. There can be numerous signs of ADHD in children, and this is why it can be crucial to seek an ADHD diagnosis and treatment if you believe your child could be living with this disorder.

Some signs of ADHD in children can include the following: 

• Inattentiveness
• Difficulty focusing
• Difficulty finishing projects
• Frequently making seemingly careless mistakes
• Hyperactivity
• Difficulty sitting still
• Impulsive behavior
• Impatience
• Intense emotional reactions

A qualified mental health professional can evaluate a child’s symptoms and provide a clinical diagnosis using criteria from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V). Depending on the child’s unique symptoms, they may receive a diagnosis of ADHD inattentive type, ADHD hyperactive-impulsive type, or ADHD combined type. 

Understanding burnout from ADHD parenting

Many people experience parental burnout at some point in their lives, particularly if they are raising a child with ADHD or another condition that can come with additional challenges. In many cases, ADHD affects the parenting skills needed to help children thrive and alleviate stress.

Feelings of burnout may negatively impact a parent’s mental health, potentially contributing to guilt or low self-esteem as well as elevated levels of stress. However, parents who experience symptoms of burnout are not alone. One study found that up to 66% of parents may be experiencing parental burnout. Future research may provide more information about burnout causes, symptoms, and treatments.

Burnout typically stems from physical and emotional exhaustion, which can then be followed by a gradual emotional distancing from one’s children and a lack of fulfillment in parenting. Treating burnout can be crucial in order to facilitate positive parent-child interactions.

Reasons for burnout in parents with ADHD-diagnosed children

Understanding burnout resulting from ADHD parenting usually requires the acknowledgment of some of the difficulties of parenting children with ADHD. Some parents have reported feelings of burnout due to the following reasons:

• Anxiety
• Physical demands of parenting
• Financial burden
• Outside judgment of themselves and their child’s situation due to the stigma surrounding ADHD
• Feeling a constant need to be “on” for their child’s condition

When parents have ADHD too

In the past, ADHD may have been underdiagnosed. Today, it’s not uncommon for parents to realize they also have ADHD once their child receives a diagnosis. 

Parental ADHD and undiagnosed ADHD

Since ADHD runs in families, there may be a higher likelihood that parents may find themselves dealing with their own ADHD as well as their child’s. In some cases, other family members such as siblings could also be affected by diagnosed or undiagnosed ADHD. 

ADHD moms, dads, and shared challenges

When moms and dads are dealing with their own parental ADHD as well as their children’s, things can become particularly stressful. If it’s possible to lean on your spouse, do so. When one partner has ADHD and the other doesn’t, this may be the ideal solution. In other cases, you may seek support from a trusted friend or family member who can provide transportation to children’s activities or babysit from time to time to give you a break. 

Is burnout a sign of adult ADHD?

Experiencing burnout as a parent doesn't necessarily mean you have adult ADHD. As a parent, you may feel impulsive and disorganized when faced with challenging situations. For instance, your child could be throwing tantrums while you’re doing something important. So, you tend to be impulsive towards your child and might even say things you don’t mean. Parenthood can be overwhelming, and feeling exhausted or emotionally drained is normal.  You can find ways to manage the demands of parenting a child with ADHD and your well-being.

Coping with ADHD parental burnout: Strategies and treatment options

Those experiencing parental burnout might have a bleak or negative outlook on the situation. There can be many struggles and obstacles that come with raising a child who has ADHD, and it can be normal to feel stressed and overwhelmed at times. 

Below are several potential coping strategies for individuals with ADHD parental burnout.

Embrace acceptance of ADHD parenting

First, it may be helpful to acknowledge and accept your child's ADHD as a part of who they are and how their brain works. You might strive to embrace their unique qualities and strengths, recognizing that ADHD does not define them.

Connect with other parents with ADHD-diagnosed children

You may find it supportive and enlightening to join a support group for parents of children with ADHD. Sharing experiences and insights with others who understand exactly what you’re going through can relieve some of the stress and feelings of isolation you may be experiencing. Meeting others who are in similar situations with similar emotions can empower you to build a network of people who understand and encourage you.

Strike a balance between parenting and self-care

It can be vital to prioritize your own well-being so that you have the capacity to support your child in the way they deserve. Try to take time for yourself to engage in activities that help you relax or bring you joy. You might also consider seeking professional support in the form of therapy if your mental health has been impacted by your parental responsibilities.

Try mindfulness and positive thinking strategies for your mental health

Mindfulness, or focusing only on the moment at hand, can help you remain present and manage stress. You may also find it helpful to focus on your child’s positive behavior, successes, and strengths. Try to cultivate a positive outlook and develop a mindset that emphasizes growth and progress.

Build a strong relationship with your child

Having a healthy, open relationship with your child in which there is a sense of trust and mutual understanding can be beneficial for both of you. Establish clear channels of communication and encourage your child to share their thoughts and feelings. Try to keep track of what’s going on in their lives outside of home.

Watch for co-occurring conditions

It can be common for individuals with ADHD to live with other co-occurring conditions, such as sleep and mood disorders. If you notice potential symptoms of other disorders, it can be prudent to inform your child’s care team so that they can recommend appropriate treatment options.

Seek professional treatment for your child

You might consult a variety of professionals, such as therapists, psychologists, and others in the healthcare field, to learn more about ADHD and to seek effective treatment for your child. It may also be helpful to collaborate with your child’s educators to ensure your child has a supportive environment at school.

Educate yourself about ADHD and parenthood, as well as adult ADHD and child ADHD

When parenting a child with ADHD, knowledge can be power. Learning as much as you can about ADHD can arm you with the information you need to succeed. It can also enable you to advocate for your child as necessary. Consider researching:

• ADHD symptoms
• Coping strategies
• Parenting approaches (e.g., positive parenting)
• Treatment options

Potential resources to explore include the Child Mind Institute, which provides many educational articles about ADHD, and the National Institute of Mental Health.

Establish structure and routine to manage ADHD symptoms 

Children with ADHD can greatly benefit from having a regular routine and plenty of structure in their lives. Try to create a predictable daily routine to foster a sense of stability and consistency for your child. When you ask them to do household chores or other tasks, break them down into manageable steps and set clear expectations. Help children learn to plan ahead and set reminders. Strong organizational and time management skills can benefit you and your child and increase parenting effectiveness. Try to avoid inconsistent discipline. 

Celebrate small victories

Be sure to acknowledge and celebrate your child’s good behavior as well as any and all achievements and successes, no matter how small they may be. Providing them with plenty of positive reinforcement can boost their self-esteem and motivation.

Remember, every child tends to be unique, and finding the right combination of strategies may require patience and flexibility. It can be important not to be hard on yourself if you experience parental burnout. This can be normal for all parents, and its symptoms are often heightened for ADHD parents. 

How therapy can help with handling ADHD and parenthood

One potential avenue of relief for parents raising a child with ADHD is therapy. There may be a variety of ADHD therapy styles and options at your disposal that can give you guidance on healthy coping strategies for managing parental burnout. A licensed therapist may also be able to provide professional advice and helpful resources, such as assistance options for families that may be financially strained by caring for a child with ADHD as well as psychiatric referrals for those interested in medication.   

Individual therapy and family therapy can be beneficial resources to explore. Meanwhile, behavioral therapy can help children with ADHD replace negative behaviors and thought patterns with positive ones that can promote good mental health and a productive lifestyle. 

Online therapy for the mental health of parents raising a child with ADHD

Online therapy can be another resource for parents of a child with ADHD. Connecting with a licensed professional through an online therapy platform may offer parents the flexibility they need to work around their schedules and receive the support they deserve.

According to a 2022 controlled trial, online psychotherapy has the potential to treat and reduce the risk of burnout. It may be a valid form of treatment for individuals experiencing parental burnout.