Parenting Advice: Managing ADHD Symptoms In Children

As the parent or guardian of a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), you may already know your child may present with unique behaviors and needs. Finding the balance between compassion for their mental health condition and the need to maintain rules and structure in your home can be difficult. However, with the correct support and education, your child can have the best possible experience. 

Read on to learn about how therapy can help your child develop coping skills, and various scientifically supported strategies you can use to better relate to your child. 

Step 1: Educate Yourself About The Disorder

When your child receives an ADHD diagnosis, your first step might be to educate yourself about their condition. Your healthcare provider or therapist can recommend some appropriate literature to help you understand how ADHD can affect your child’s physical, emotional and mental development. The more you know about ADHD and how it may present in your child, the more equipped you may feel to help them when they encounter obstacles. 

Step 2: Ask Your Healthcare Provider If ADHD Medication Is A Good Fit

 Many parents report medication making a positive difference for their children’s symptomatic manifestation. You may consider speaking to your child’s pediatrician or therapist to learn if medication is a viable option for your child, possibly discussing options for which adverse behaviors you’d like to target first. 

Recent research indicates that many parents may hesitate to pursue medication for their children, despite substantial evidence that supports its efficacy and safety. In the referenced study, parents self-reported feelings of guilt that their child required medication, as well as significant family pressure and concerns about the risks of treatment. These were listed as the primary reasons for not seeking medication. 

Step 3: Understand Why They’re Lashing Out

Before reacting to your child’s anger, aggression or defiance, you may consider taking a moment to try to understand why they’re lashing out. Their naturally hyperactive and impulsive tendencies might lead to negative interactions or outbursts. However, with therapy, intervention and support, these can be overcome. 

As you take your moment, you may make a conscious effort to aim criticism at the behavior, not the child themselves. Once you understand the situations and emotions that can be likely to trigger ADHD behaviors, you can try lifestyle changes to avoid or better manage outbursts when possible. 

Common ADHD Behavior Triggers

While symptomatic manifestations can vary by child, some of the most common triggers that are reported include: 

• Boredom
• Stress
• Resistance to changing activities
• Poor sleep
• Overstimulating environments
• Adverse reactions to certain foods or additives

Tip 1: Understanding The Possible Tie Between ADHD And Inaccuracies 

While there is no current proven correlation between ADHD and lying as a symptom, many people with ADHD may resort to dishonesty if they feel pressure to think fast or want to cover up an impulsive action. Remember that poor communication skills and inattentiveness can lead to misunderstandings or inaccuracies that may not be intentional. Your child may not be omitting information on purpose. They may genuinely have forgotten or consider it unimportant.

Tip 2: Avoid Overreaction And Keep Disciplinary Actions Fair

Parenting a child with ADHD can be exhausting, and it can be helpful to remember that they likely aren’t causing you stress on purpose. They are generally naturally curious, impulsive and adventurous. You may try to take that into account when reacting to your child’s behavior to give them the fairest and most empathetic experience possible. 

Because children living with ADHD may misbehave, punishment can quickly lose its effectiveness as a deterrent. To address this, you may take care that they don’t internalize the behavioral corrections to mean something is wrong with them. Instead, you might try focusing on positive discipline methods to correct behaviors. Children with ADHD also benefit from more structure, as well as clear guidelines regarding the type of behavior you expect. 

Tip 3: Praise Positive Behaviors

Researchers at the Child Mind Institute suggest that parents use positive attention to help correct behaviors more effectively than negative attention. Studies show that praising the behavior you want to encourage yields more results than calling negative attention to the behavior you wish to stop. Use specific language to praise their actions, helping them associate the positive feelings of praise with the behavior. 

Tip 4: Where Possible (And Safe), Ignore Minor Negative Behaviors

If your child is behaving in a way that is dangerous for themselves or others, they may need redirection to stay safe. However, if they are merely acting out to get your attention or because they are bored, you may try a practice called active ignoring—doing your best to ignore the bad behavior, and praising them when it stops. 

“By withdrawing your attention, you are sending the message that acting out is not the way for them to get what they want. You reinforce this message when, as soon as you see them calming themselves down or obeying an instruction, you do give them your attention,” said Katherine Martinelli, author of The Power Of Positive Attention.

Tip 5: Spend Time With Your Child And Model Good Behaviors

You are generally your child’s first role model. They might learn how to behave and interact with others primarily based on how you act. It can be important for caregivers to spend time with their children to develop a loving, nurturing relationship that prioritizes open communication. 

As you do this, you might try to remember that your child may be having a hard time versus intentionally being difficult when they misbehave. With this in mind, you can do your best to gloss over the harmful conduct and focus on modeling desired behavior. 

Tip 6: Help Your Child Build Emotional Literacy And Intelligence

Many parents may find that one of the most effective ways to help your child manage ADHD symptoms is to help them build their emotional literacy and intelligence. They may need your support and guidance as they learn healthy ways to express and process their feelings. However, it can be a worthwhile investment. 

Emotional intelligence can help children to recognize and understand their emotions, and how they can affect their behavior. Emotional literacy can then take the next step, potentially helping your child constructively express their feelings and needs to others.

Tip 7: Experiment With Coping Strategies

Working with a therapist can help you and your child develop a selection of coping strategies to manage ADHD behaviors. Finding effective coping strategies can involve ongoing experimentation to find what works. We’ve listed several common coping strategies below:  

Potential Coping Strategies

• Redirection
• Taking a break
• Creating a routine and schedule
• Sticking to a sleep schedule
• Allowing opportunities to move physically

Tip 8: Provide Routine Opportunities For Physical Movement And Exercise

Hyperactivity can be a significant aspect of your child’s ADHD. They may feel a need to fidget or move due to an excess of energy. While planning your family routine, you may try to work in regular physical movement and exercise opportunities. If your child is struggling to focus on school, you might also consider speaking to teachers about movement breaks. 

Tip 9: Reach Out For Help

Navigating your child’s ADHD symptoms and behaviors can be incredibly difficult to do without help. There are services available to help you find ways for your child to live with their disorder and to help you support them as a parent or guardian. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends parent training and behavior management therapy for children with ADHD aged six and under. A combination of behavior therapy and medication may often recommended for older children and adults. Pursuing a personalized course of treatment and leveraging what options are available to you can support your child in experiencing a higher quality of life. 

How Can Online Therapy Support Parents Of Children With ADHD?

Therapy can be an effective tool for you as a parent and may help your child learn to manage their ADHD behaviors. If you’ve noticed an increase in your child’s behaviors or feel like you’re having trouble providing the support and guidance your child needs, you consider speaking with a therapist for help. Many people are turning to online therapy platforms like BetterHelp to receive therapy from the comfort and convenience of home or another safe space, with options to schedule appointments via phone, online chat or video call.

How Therapy Could Help Your Child Manage ADHD Symptoms And Behaviors

A recent study published in Frontiers in Psychology shows that online therapy is not only a helpful way to treat ADHD in children, but it may also be more effective than traditional in-office settings. The reduced cost, wait times, convenience and accessibility were also desirable factors for patients and parents of children living with ADHD.