How To Overcome ADHD Perfectionism
Individuals living with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) often face challenges with focusing on and completing projects. Coupled with other elements of ADHD, such as inattentiveness, executive dysfunction, and impulsivity, these difficulties may lead a person to display perfectionistic tendencies. Perfectionism, which often involves setting unrealistic expectations for oneself, may be a coping mechanism for individuals with ADHD to compensate for challenges or avoid failure. Understanding and addressing ADHD perfectionism can be a key component to avoiding burnout and maintaining emotional well-being. Practicing mindfulness, setting reasonable expectations, and working with a therapist can be helpful.
What is ADHD perfectionism?
ADHD perfectionism often occurs when individuals living with ADHD create unreasonable and, in some cases, impossible standards. These standards may be placed on oneself in general or applied to the completion of a specific project.
While striving for high-quality work can be normal, perfectionism can lead to potentially negative impacts, such as the following:
- Low self-esteem: If a person does not perform to the standards they’ve set, they may not achieve satisfaction. This could lead them to doubt their abilities or their value, which may result in lower self-esteem.
- Stress: The pressure of achieving perfection can weigh on an individual and cause them to experience higher levels of stress. This can have a variety of harmful effects on almost every system of the body, including the cardiovascular, respiratory, musculoskeletal, gastrointestinal, endocrine, reproductive, and nervous systems.
- Procrastination: A desire for perfection may also lead individuals to procrastinate. Because an individual with perfectionistic tendencies may be highly self-critical, they could put off completing a project for fear it will never be good enough or that it will be deemed a failure by others.
- Difficulty seeking support: Because an individual with perfectionistic tendencies may be concerned with the opinions of others, they may struggle to ask for help. As a result, these individuals may work for extended periods of time to complete large projects alone, which could result in burnout.
The precise impacts of perfectionism may vary depending on the type. According to Harvard University, there may be three distinct types of perfectionism.
- Self-oriented: This may be the perfectionism type most seen in those experiencing ADHD. Self-oriented perfectionism is often directed inward, with individuals holding unrealistic standards of their own abilities and performances. They can be overly critical of their own mistakes and struggle when they believe their work is not meeting their high standards.
- Other-oriented: Individuals with ADHD may also experience other-oriented perfectionism, particularly when working in groups. This type of perfectionism generally involves creating unreasonable standards for others, often expecting their work to achieve unrealistic levels of quality and providing harsh criticism if errors are made.
- Socially-prescribed: Depending on an individual’s culture and beliefs, they may experience socially-prescribed perfectionism. This perfectionism type is often built on the values of a society, religion, or group that encourages individuals to meet certain expectations. If these expectations are not met, individuals may face criticism or exclusion from the group. This may encourage them to overwork or overachieve to meet these standards.
3 tips that may help you overcome ADHD perfectionism
Understanding the impact that perfectionism can have may only be one part of coping with this element of ADHD. In many cases, it can be helpful to observe your thought patterns and adjust your behavior to overcome this potentially harmful mindset. Below are three tips that may help you address ADHD perfectionism.
Set reasonable expectations
In many cases, the foundation of ADHD perfectionism is unrealistic goals or expectations. When a person creates standards for themselves or their work that are difficult (or impossible) to attain, they may overwork themselves to achieve them. By setting reasonable expectations for oneself, a person with ADHD may experience a higher level of satisfaction with both themselves and their work. In addition, reasonable goals may enable a person to achieve more significant results over time.
Setting reasonable expectations may start by analyzing your objectives and capabilities. Doing so may involve analyzing what you intend to achieve, what your abilities are, how quickly you can complete certain tasks, and what resources are available to you.
- What you intend to achieve: Determining your goals can be key to working efficiently and avoiding distraction. By selecting objectives ahead of time, you may have a clear idea of where to start. In addition, you may have a better idea of what it means to achieve that goal, which may stop you from obsessing over each detail in order to achieve “perfection.”
- What your abilities are: Once you know what you intend to achieve, you may want to determine whether you can complete each part of the project on your own. In some cases, you may not have the ability to complete certain tasks. While it may be possible to learn how to complete these tasks, it may also be helpful to enlist the support of others.
- How quickly you work: Setting a timeline can be another essential part of creating reasonable expectations. It can be difficult to create quality work if you are in a rush or stressed out by upcoming deadlines. By determining your work pace and setting deadlines that adhere to this pace, you may be able to comfortably achieve more favorable outcomes.
- What resources you have: In some cases, you may have clear goals, the knowledge you need to complete them, and a timeline for how to do so, but you may lack the proper resources. Finding out what a project requires and whether you have access to the necessary resources can be essential for setting reasonable expectations.
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness often refers to being aware of one’s internal mental state and the environment around them. Those who practice mindfulness may have a better understanding of their thought patterns and emotional states, observing their feelings and thoughts without judgment or quick reactions. For individuals with perfectionistic tendencies, mindfulness may help them identify the thought patterns that exacerbate these tendencies. Research suggests that individuals who experience pressure to be perfect or are engaged in extreme self-presentation may benefit substantially from increased mindfulness.
One practice that may be beneficial is mindfulness meditation. This type of meditation usually involves finding a comfortable place to be alone with your thoughts and setting aside time to focus on the nature of your thought patterns. In many cases, individuals can simply sit and focus on their breathing. While some may believe that you should intentionally clear your thoughts during meditation, it can be normal for thoughts to occur. It may be helpful to notice and acknowledge these thoughts before returning to your breathwork.
Mindfulness can also be practiced outside of dedicated periods of meditation. In order to do so, it may be helpful to become more observant of your thoughts and actions throughout the day. In some cases, individuals may be on “autopilot” during certain repetitive tasks, such as when driving to work or completing chores around the house. By becoming more mindful, you may be able to use these periods as times for self-reflection, potentially increasing your awareness.
Talk with a mental health professional
In many cases, individuals struggling with ADHD or perfectionism may have a difficult time overcoming challenges on their own. Discussing your experiences with a therapist may be beneficial. A therapist may help you identify the specific patterns of thought that encourage perfectionistic tendencies, as well as the self-doubt or low self-esteem often associated with perfectionism. In addition to understanding these patterns, a therapist may help you build skills to address other ADHD struggles, such as difficulty with time management, inattention, and impulsivity.
However, finding an in-person therapist can be time-consuming and difficult. In some cases, locating an ADHD specialist could require weeks or months of sifting through directories or calling different offices. For individuals living with ADHD, this may be challenging. In addition, in-person therapy can offer limited communication formats. For individuals who want to find a therapist more easily, or wish to use text, video, or voice chats, it may be beneficial to explore alternatives. One potential alternative is online therapy, which can offer similar levels of efficacy to in-person therapy.
Studies suggest that online therapy can be an effective form of treatment for ADHD. One 2022 systematic review and meta-analysis reported that, after an online intervention, participants generally experienced improvements in attention deficit and social function.
Takeaway
ADHD perfectionism can be stressful and may impact numerous areas of an individual's life. Those with perfectionistic tendencies may be prone to setting unreasonable expectations, whether they be placed on themselves, placed on others, or created by societal pressures. To overcome this mindset, it may be helpful to set reasonable expectations, practice mindfulness, and talk with a therapist. A licensed mental health professional, whether in person or online, may be able to help you identify perfectionistic thought patterns, understand why they are occurring, and find ways to build beneficial skills.
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