We’ve all had weak moments in our lives when we let our emotions and frustration get the best of us. We reacted in ways we later regretted or embarrassing ways, not using productive ways to release or let go of our emotions. Maybe it was when someone was rude or when a situation didn’t go our way, and we acted irrationally. Learn ways to get rid of this pattern, get rid of outbursts, and instead balance your emotions in a healthy way.
Anger is a common emotion and can actually be healthy to feel when it’s handled correctly. But sometimes it can feel so hard to keep rage under control. Learning how to release your emotions appropriately can help you stabilize your moods, have healthy relationships, and improve your health.
Mayo Clinic says that anger is a natural response when faced with perceived threats - a survival instinct that activates the body’s fight or flight reaction. Muscles tighten, and the face and hands begin to flush. Often this rage inspires powerful, and sometimes aggressive, feelings and actions which defend ourselves when we feel attacked. Prioritize finding how to express your anger in healthy ways.
Not only do people experience strong negative emotions for different reasons, but they also learn to release anger in different ways. The Mayo Clinic talks about three typical categories in which people stay in control:
The Negative Effects Of Suppressing Anger
As discussed above, some people choose to suppress their anger in hope of the situation changing or simply going away. Suppressing your emotions and not having a way to express it can have significant impacts on your health, including heart disease, stroke, weakened immune system, and an increase in anxiety and depression.
You know that suppressed anger is a problem for your physical health, mental health, and relationships. What can you do about it? There are several techniques people use to express their emotions, discussed below. Remember, everyone handles moods differently, so try the following tools to determine which method works best for you when you’re feeling anger.
Physical activity is a great way to express anger and put yourself in a better mood. The chemicals activated in the brain while doing the physical activity are natural mood stabilizers. Working out also lets you redirect the anger into a healthy activity. Though exercise may not solve the problems that caused your initial mood, it will neutralize the difficult emotions so you could think more clearly about solutions.
When you’re feeling anger, your breathing may increase. You may find that you take short and shallow breathes. This can trigger other physical symptoms in your body which can lead to things like high blood pressure. Breathing exercises are an easy way to calm down from the body’s fight or heightened state of alertness. Taking a few deep breaths helps activate a calming reflex in the body. Practice the following techniques often so they will be easier to apply when anger strikes.
Practice taking slow, controlled breaths. Imagine the air going in through your nose all the way to your belly. Follow the breath as it leaves your body. Another great deep breathing exercise involves mentally counting. Inhale while counting to four, hold your breath for another count of four, then exhale counting to four again. Count to four as your rest, then repeat as necessary.
While you’re deep breathing, it may be helpful to imagine a relaxing experience or a pleasant memory. Try to picture it with all of your senses. For instance, if you imagine yourself on a beach, mentally hear the waves, feel the sun on your cheeks, smell the ocean air, etc.
When you feel rage, you may notice that the muscles seem to tense up throughout your body. One way to express rage is to address this tension. Slowly tense and relax each muscle group one at a time. This will help your body feel more relaxed from anger’s muscle tightening response.
In addition to these techniques, guided meditations can help calm rage or other emotions. Several websites offer guided meditations for calming the nerves. You could even install a meditation app on your smartphone to use whenever you’re mad.
Sometimes writing thoughts and emotions on paper helps get them out of your head and puts them in perspective. Consider journaling, creating poetry, or writing a letter or email to someone who wronged you (that you may or may not send). Writing helps organize your thoughts and may provide insights into the situation. When you write, don’t just focus on the adverse aspect of the event or situation, try to brainstorm solutions or how to handle things differently in the future. You can write until your feelings of rage are expressed.
You may even want to keep a notepad with you at all times so the next time you feel anger, you can start writing right away.
Sometimes it’s simply best to walk away from the source. It could be permanent or temporary, but either way, it can be helpful to take a break from the triggers consistently causing rage. If you must end a relationship or find a different job, do it. Change is not always easy, but it is necessary if the situation is causing you difficult emotions.
Unfortunately, not everyone has the luxury of a supportive friend or loved one. Many people struggling with intense rage turn to therapists, who are trained to provide insights into thought processes, management, and changes they could make to constructively and assertively deal with rage.
A therapist can work with you to help you determine where your rage is coming from and how to treat it. It’s not just that you’re a mad person and they can help you discover how come you feel such angriness. They can also help you learn how to express your rage so you can overcome the mental and physical symptoms that you experience as a result of it. Then, the next time you’re feeling angry, you’ll have an idea of what you can do to express this rage and move forward healthily.
“Josh has been really helpful to me and helping me find ways to control my anger. I am more positive now and it’s all thanks to Josh for helping me get strategies.”
While angriness is a normal emotion, it can be difficult to manage. If you’re struggling with anger management, the tips in this article can help you make the positive changes that you need in life. A counselor can help you stay on track, while you move at a pace that’s comfortable for you.
Resources on how to manage your emotions and anger, and get the support you need. If you are struggling with feeling like you have control over your reactions, anger, and intense emotions, you can get professional support through a therapist to help you navigate ways around anger you may be experiencing. While anger can be a normal emotion, it can be challenging to navigate on your own. Anger doesn't have to dominate your everyday life. Help is available for the anger challenges you may be facing.
Get additional support and help with your day-to-day life, navigating anger, and overall mental health journey via the resources below: