Bullying Stories: History of Bullying & Mental Health

Many believe that bullying and the resulting emotional pain have been a concern since the very dawn of human existence. When you think of bullying stories, you might think back to middle school or high school.  However, bullies can exist across many different contexts and settings—creating a lasting impact on the mental health of many. Learning how to address the behavior and identify it for oneself can be a helpful first step in preserving one’s confidence and resilience in the face of bullying. 

Below, we explore the prevalence of bullying, unpack a few true-to-life stories and experiences, and identify steps you can take to prevent bullying—possibly supporting both yourself and those around you through anti-bullying efforts.

What constitutes bullying?

When we imagine bullying, we may think of a bigger kid pushing a smaller kid hanging around on the playground. However, this is not the only form that bullying can take on. There are many different forms of bullying behavior—and bullying can happen at any age and in any location. 

While bullying can differ depending on the situation, there are two factors that most bullying situations may have in common.

• Intent. Accidentally offending someone is generally not considered to be bullying. Those who bully might instead know what they are doing, possibly intending harm to another person. 
• Power Imbalance. In many cases of bullying, the bully may be more powerful than the bullied. This doesn't mean that the bully is necessarily bigger, older or stronger than the other person. The bully can be in a higher position of authority, such as a superior at work. They can also be someone who comes from a wealthy family with the means to sue maliciously if the victim fights back.

Telling personal stories of bullying can be empowering for survivors, and it can also be a catalyst for anti-bullying efforts. Understanding the human impact of bullying, as opposed to noting statistics or talking about the idea of bullying, makes it a tangible problem that begs to be solved. 

How bullying changes a person’s life

Bullying has both short and long-term effects on the victim. For example, kids who are bullied in school often experience adverse mental health effects that persist decades later.  

Short-term effects of bullying

The short-term effects of bullying can be disruptive to an individual’s life. For example, many kids who are bullied during the school year experience declining academic performance and may even be held back a grade as a result. Adults who are bullied in the workplace often perform worse than their non-bullied peers and could lose out on advancement opportunities or, worse, lose their job entirely. 

Long-term effects of bullying

The potential long-term effects of bullying are numerous. For example, someone who is bullied in school can experience negative effects long after they’ve graduated. These effects could include: 

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Thoughts of self-harm or taking one’s own life
• Physical health issues
• Substance misuse 

Bullying and mental health risks

Bullying poses serious risks to mental health. Victims of bullying often develop severe symptoms of depression and anxiety as a direct result of being bullied. They may live in a constant state of fear that the bullying will continue or get worse. 

When bullying leads to thoughts of self-harm or suicide

In many cases, the mental health effects of bullying can be especially devastating, prompting thoughts or actions of self-harm or suicide. If you or someone you know is experiencing these symptoms, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline anytime, day or night. For non-emergencies, consider reaching out to a therapist or other mental health professional, whether online or in person. 

Why do people bully?

Figuring out why people bully can be an important step in guarding one’s peace. The answer to this question can be entirely individual and dependent on the context of one’s situation. 

Possible reasons for why people bully include:

• Family Concerns. If someone's parents are mistreating them, or if the bully is experiencing ongoing familial strain, they may develop bullying tactics. Picking on someone weaker than them can make a bully feel satisfied and can help them cope with problems in their household.
• Power.  When a person has power over someone, some do not know how to control their power, and may use what they know for negative purposes rather than positive purposes.
• Personality Or Illness. A mental health condition could be behind the bullying, such as a personality or psychiatric disorder.
• Insecurity. People may bully to cover up an insecurity of their own.

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

Regardless of the cause, online therapy can help those being bullied and those engaging in bullying behavior—supporting many in finding healthier methods of expression. 

“Traditional” bullying stories Fact or fiction?

Name-calling, excluding people, and spreading rumors are just a few examples of bullying. Truthfully, many may not find a “traditional” bullying experience. Bullying can be incredibly personal and can occur on a case-by-case basis. 

Below, we explore some of the most common types of bullying that survivors may encounter: 

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is considered by many to be a growing problem, especially in the digital age. Before the internet, bullying generally required some strength and power to take effect. However, in the cyber world, it is generally easier to do so. 

Why? While reasons can vary across contexts, many people believe that the prevalence of bullying can be due to the fact that people can remain unnamed—saying things that they wouldn’t otherwise say to someone in person. The effects of cyberbullying can be as harmful as traditional bullying.

Trolling vs. cyberbullying

We do want to clarify: Trolling, which is defined by many as saying something provocative to get a reaction, can be bullying. However, depending on the context, it can also be harmless. 

For example, going into a forum dedicated to basketball and posting a comment that says "basketball sucks" is probably not cyberbullying by many people’s definition, but may be instead considered “trolling.” Conversely, constantly targeting one individual with harassing comments can instead be considered cyberbullying.

Online therapy can be useful for survivors of bullying and those engaging in bullying behaviors, offering additional support and resources for healthier patterns of communication.

Workplace bullying

Bullying might not end once school ends. The workplace can be a breeding ground for bullying. 

There can be many situations across industries when one worker might not fit in with the rest, and they may be picked on as a result. The working world also has many power imbalances that might make it more likely for people to bully. 

Despite this, workplace bullying is not generally recognized by law in the U.S. at the time of this publication. However, many states have gone on record noting that they wish to introduce state-level prohibitive bills. 

Workplace bullying, if left unaddressed, can lead to overwhelm, burnout, and mental health crises. Online therapy can be a useful resource for employees who wish to seek support. 

Real-life examples from bullying stories

Physical bullying experiences

Every day, people around the world are physically bullied. Reports of bullying include victims being kicked, punched, choked, and suffering other acts of violence. These attacks often result in injuries, including a black eye, bruises, broken bones, and even head injuries. Individuals may have their food stolen from them or even dumped on top of them. Medical care is sometimes necessary after a severe bullying incident. 

Emotional bullying and humiliation

Emotional bullying can often be just as painful or more painful than physical aggression. Moreover, this type of bullying leaves no physical scars, so it can be harder to detect. Emotional bullying may include tactics such as: 

• Namecalling
• Humiliation
• Gaslighting
• Controlling behavior
• Manipulation

Emotional bullies may make it their goal to leave their victims crying and in a state of perpetual fear.

Social exclusion and isolation

Repeatedly and intentionally excluding somebody from group activities is considered a form of relational aggression and can be particularly devastating for bullying victims. Often, bullies use techniques such as mocking or spreading rumors in order to gain support from others. This leaves the victim feeling completely alone and powerless to change their situation.  

Why bullying often goes unseen

Due to the prevalence of bullying stories in the media, people may be more aware of bullying now than ever before. Still, many cases of bullying go unseen and unreported. Bullies often operate behind the scenes, tormenting their victims in secret. 

Hidden bullying and silence

They may be nice to their target when others are around, but transform into a bully as soon as they’re no longer being watched. Some forms of bullying are carried out in public, yet adults and other bystanders may be unaware of this behavior. 

Victims of bullying often stay silent, choosing not to report the bullying. When physical injuries occur, they may make up a story to explain them, saying they fell, for example. There could be many reasons for their silence, including: 

• Shame or feeling they’ve done something wrong to “deserve” the bullying
• Fear that the bully will retaliate if reported
• Fear that no one will believe them

The role of bystanders

In some cases, bullying may be noticed by bystanders and still go unreported. Some bystanders may turn a blind eye to somebody being bullied for various reasons. They may simply feel indifferent or not want to be bothered at the moment. Maybe they’re listening to music or are otherwise distracted.  Or in other cases, they may feel conflicted or fear that reporting the incident might make the bullying worse for the victim. 

Seeking help: Where should I start if I’m being bullied? 

If you're being bullied, it may be difficult to figure out what to do. You may feel overwhelmed or that you are not in a position to fight back. 

Steps to take at school

If you or someone you know is being bullied at school, tell someone. Talk to a classroom teacher or grade counselor and let them know what’s going on. Include as many specific details about the bullying incident as possible. Schools are obligated to address bullying when they hear of it. 

Reaching out for help

Many people who are bullied live in fear. One way to resist bullies and the effects of bullying behavior is to get training to help you be able to ignore their tactics and stay positive. Talking to a therapist or a counselor can be a helpful first step for many who wish to learn techniques that stop bullying in its tracks.

Is online therapy effective? 

How can online therapy help

If you or someone you know has experienced bullying, signing up for online therapy with one of the thousands of certified BetterHelp counselors can make a difference. Online therapy can also allow people to seek help without traveling or meeting in an office, making it a convenient option for many.