I'm Alone On Christmas: Ways To Celebrate Christmas Day By Yourself
The holidays are often referred to as the “most wonderful time” of the year. Some people feel sad during the holidays, though. Others may feel overwhelmed or anxious. It can be an emotionally packed time of the year, especially if you’re alone for the first time on Christmas, when it may seem that everyone is connected with family. Social conditioning and societal expectations may send the message that it’s not normal to spend the holidays alone. However, if you’re alone on Christmas, that’s okay. There are ways to make the most of your holidays and connect with yourself. By addressing mental health challenges, practicing self-care, and starting fun, independent traditions during Christmas time, you can enjoy the holidays entirely by yourself, whether you are alone by choice or not.
Mental health and the holidays: Why are the holidays more difficult?
Despite societal conditioning that the holidays should be pure bliss, many people say their life is more stressful during the holidays than at any other time of year. In addition, with increased rates of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) during the holiday season, people may be more likely to experience depression during Christmas in the United States, where many states have a cold and dark climate in December. Combined with more financial burdens, busy workdays, and family stressors, the holidays can be challenging for many people. For these people, Christmas time isn’t the wonderful time of the year portrayed in movies and on TV.
For those who don’t have anyone over the holidays, holiday loneliness can make them feel overwhelmed, leading to higher rates of depression. Harvard reports that this loneliness may be worse after the COVID-19 pandemic, which involved social trauma that impacted many, especially those who lost family members and loved ones. Despite societal expectations, it’s not uncommon to feel sad over the holidays.
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
Because the media often portrays holidays as having to look a certain way, people may fear missing out if they see other people enjoying the season when they aren’t. For this reason, having ways to cope if you’re alone on Christmas can be an act of self-care.
Ways to practice self-care when alone on Christmas
Practicing self-care can be a way to cope with stress, depression, anxiety, or other challenges on Christmas. Below are a few self-care practices to try.
Pamper your five senses
As a way of beginning the new year on the right foot, consider spending some time pampering all five of your senses. This could make you feel happy or feel connected to yourself and your inner life. Below are some suggestions on ways you might do so:
- Sight: Wear a beautiful outfit, put on makeup you enjoy, watch a film or TV show, look outside your window, go to a beautiful natural area, or read a book/story.
- Scent: Light a candle or incense, bake pleasant-smelling goods, cook an aromatic dinner with many spices, or wash your clothes and smell them out of the dryer.
- Sound: Listen to a saved playlist, play white noise, or listen to nature sounds for a moment.
- Touch: Wear comfortable pajamas, change your bedsheets, wear slippers, pet your animals, hug someone you love, put on soothing lotion, partake in a facial routine, or take a bath or shower with soaks.
- Taste: Try a new dessert, order takeout, eat a healthy snack, practice mindfulness with taste, or try a new food to fill your need for variety.
Practice journaling
Journaling is one way to process emotions and get them off your mind in a controlled way. Consider trying the following journaling prompts:
- Write about your favorite memory this year.
- Write about your achievements from the year.
- Brainstorm ways to build community.
- Write about what you’re most grateful for this year.
Keep your routine when you're alone on Christmas
Not everyone alone on Christmas wants to celebrate. If you’re not looking forward to the celebration, consider treating your Christmas like any other day of the year. You might try to keep your regular schedule as much as possible. If you can’t work on Christmas, you might use the day off to work on a project or get extra rest.
Fun ways to spend Christmas alone
Millions of people worldwide spend the holidays alone. Just because you’re alone during Christmas time, that doesn’t mean you have to miss out on holiday celebrations. If you’re worried about being alone on Christmas because you don’t think it will be fun or memorable, save the following tips for the upcoming holiday season.
Make your own traditions
If you’ve only ever had traditions with family or partners, consider beginning a Christmas tradition you can practice on your own to fill the day. For example, you can start the day by going on a morning walk in a park with your dog and then get a coffee or tea and read a book or story at home alone. As evening approaches, you might make a delicious meal and dessert and enjoy it by the window while admiring the bright lights. You might also consider listening to a Christmas carol soundtrack at home or watching classic Christmas films. These are just suggestions. You might personalize your plan and make it your own.
Volunteer and give back to your community
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has a featured article showing that volunteering and giving back to your community can make you feel happy and positively impact your mental well-being. Generosity may improve your self-esteem and help you connect with your community. Consider contacting local nonprofits to see if anyone needs volunteers on Christmas. Often, soup kitchens and local food banks worldwide offer holiday meals to people without homes on Christmas. You may also be able to save food or support the distribution of goods at a local church. You can also give back to your community by baking cookies for your neighbors or filling small Christmas baskets for all the people on your street. The more people you connect with as the new year begins, the better!
Buy mystery gifts online
If you enjoy the excitement of opening presents on the holidays, consider buying yourself mystery gifts online from a small online company or from online artists. When the gifts arrive, you can unwrap them on Christmas and be surprised by what you received.
Take a solo trip
A solo trip can be a fun way to celebrate Christmas on your own in a new environment to distract you from loneliness and other challenges. You might consider booking a Christmas cruise or vacation rental for a few days. You can even rent a hotel room or cabin nearby if you don’t want to travel to a new place for the holidays. Just changing your environment may be helpful.
The benefits of being alone on the holidays
When Christmas alone becomes a fresh start
If you’ve just started out on your own, spending Christmas time alone could mark a new season in your life. Whether in your early twenties or early thirties, the first time spending a major holiday alone can be a wonderful time of self-exploration. Schedule a fun event to mark this occasion and begin the new year ahead, whether it's a night out under the bright lights of the city or a quiet evening spent alone at your new house or apartment.
Finding comfort in your own company
Even if it’s not your choice to spend the holidays alone, you can find a way to embrace self-connection and enjoy your own company. Being your own best friend means you’re never truly alone in life. During the holidays, you might consider how to fill your day with activities you enjoy (inside or outside of the house), along with the rest, exercise, and nutritious foods your body needs. You may also want to take a moment during the day to express gratitude for the positive aspects of your life, whether big or small.
Connecting with others and building community
Some people find it more challenging to make friends as an adult versus when they were a kid. If you’re alone on the holidays because you experience difficulty finding community, there are a few ways you can meet more people and start to build up your social circle for the new year. Just getting out of the house can make you feel more connected to your community. The following are just a few tips:
- Attend social meetup groups from apps like MeetUp.
- Attend a dinner with strangers through the Timeleft app.
- Talk to people in online social media groups dedicated to your areas of interest.
- Reach out to acquaintances and old friends to plan a hangout.
- Go to a local event and talk to other people who came alone.
- Attend a service at a local church.
- Volunteer at local food banks or other charity organizations.
Finding virtual connections while alone on Christmas
Virtual connections can also be helpful over the holidays. If you’re alone because your loved ones are far away, consider having a video call with them while you eat dinner. If you don’t have anyone to call, you could join an online class, organize a virtual gift exchange, or try an online holiday-themed scavenger hunt.
You don’t have to face this season alone.
Connect with a therapist to navigate loneliness, grief, or relationship challenges with care and compassion.
Find support with a therapistGetting expert advice and emotional support
If, despite your best efforts to connect with others, you still feel sad and lonely during the holidays, it could be important to reach out for emotional support. Consider talking to a trusted friend or family member in your life. Tell them that you feel overwhelmed and ask for what you need, whether it’s a listening ear or someone to sit with you for a while. You can also seek expert advice and mental health support from a therapist. Reaching out for support could be the beginning of a new chapter for you.
Mental health support options
Another way to connect over the holidays is to talk to a therapist, but many therapists don’t work over the holidays. In these cases, an online therapy platform may be beneficial. Through an online platform, you can set session times at a time that works for you, including outside standard business hours. In addition, you can work with a therapist via phone, video, or live chat sessions from home, which allows you to talk to someone over the holiday season without having to drive to an office in the cold.
How it works
Studies show that online therapy may be especially effective for people experiencing anxiety and depression, which can be common over the holidays. In one study, researchers concluded that online therapy was effective in reducing these symptoms and improving clients’ quality of life.
Takeaway
Is it okay to be alone for Christmas?
There are no rules on how you should celebrate Christmas. Being alone on Christmas is okay and normal, and if you would prefer social isolation on this holiday, you don’t have to spend time with anyone. If you don’t want to be alone on Christmas and feel lonely, there are ways you can avoid being alone and bring joy to others, such as connecting with a virtual community, volunteering with a local charity, organizing a local event, making gifts for your local nursing home, or starting new traditions with friends. Still, being alone on the holidays doesn’t mean anything bad about you.
How do you celebrate Christmas if you are alone?
You can celebrate Christmas alone the same way you would spend it with loved ones. If you love Christmas, go all out on the decorations, food, and gifts, even if just for yourself. You can set the dinner table for yourself, make special meals, and listen to Christmas music. If you’re alone because you don’t have family, consider inviting a friend over for a meal. Some friend groups might host a Christmas gathering or party to spend time together. You don’t have to celebrate Christmas traditionally, and your Christmas get-together doesn’t have to occur on the actual holiday if you don’t have time or if other people are with their families.
How do I deal with lonely feelings on Christmas?
First, address your emotions. Ask yourself where the loneliness comes from. What desires do you have that didn’t come true? Then, ask yourself how you can make the best of your situation as it is. Can you find a way to enjoy your time with yourself? Do you want to make cookies to give to your neighbors? Is there another way you can give back to your community? Practice self-care and be nice to yourself.
Why does Christmas feel especially lonely for some people?
Christmas time can feel especially lonely because of societal pressures. Traditionally, Christmas is portrayed as a time when people spend time with friends and family members, celebrating the “happiest time of the year.” However, for many, this expectation isn’t rooted in reality, and the expectation that Christmas should be a happy time with friends and family can add pressure and stress. Comparing yourselves to people who are celebrating Christmas in the traditional sense may intensify feelings of loneliness.
How can I take care of my mental health if I’m alone on Christmas?
When you’re busy with plans everyday it can feel like you’re on the verge of burnout. Therefore, if you’re alone during Christmas time, you have an opportunity to unwind, relax, and prioritize your mental health. You may take this time to create a gentle morning routine, such as taking a slow shower/bath, making a morning brew, doing crossword puzzles or mind games, and going for a walk. Limiting social media use and prioritizing activities you enjoy throughout the day can make this feel like a quiet, intimate holiday.
How can I feel connected even when I’m spending Christmas alone?
While you may be away from loved ones, you can take advantage of technology to connect with friends and family members during the holiday season. You may schedule a FaceTime or phone call with someone – whether a close friend or someone you’d like to reconnect with. Also, you may volunteer at local charities and food drives, engage in online communities (such as a book club), or watch a show that makes you feel good.
What are healthy expectations to set if you’re single or grieving during the holidays?
For both single and grieving individuals, it’s important to redefine your expectations of how Christmas should be. This may involve accepting your present situation, including any feelings of sadness, loneliness, peace, or happiness that arise, without guilt. You may also create new traditions to celebrate the season, such as lighting a candle to honor a loved one, baking specific Christmas treats, or having a game night with friends.
What should I say to support someone who feels alone at Christmas?
To support someone who feels alone, the first step can be to simply show up for them. You may invite them to low-pressure activities such as a walk in the park, a pizza, or a movie night. Reaching out via a text or phone call can also show them that you care. If you get a chance to meet them, listen without judgment, acknowledge their feelings, and show compassion, such as acknowledging the pressure of the holidays.
When should I seek additional emotional support during the holiday season?
If feelings of sadness, loneliness, anxiety, or overwhelm are persistent during the holiday season, you may consider seeking support – especially if these feelings interfere with everyday life, from meeting friends to completing daily tasks. A mental health professional can offer coping strategies to reduce negative feelings and help you embrace the holiday season, whether alone or with friends and family.
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