Lonely On New Year's Eve? Finding Comfort And Connection Through The Loneliness

New Year’s Eve is a holiday that some people celebrate with glitzy parties and festive gatherings. However, if you’re not expected at a party to ring in the new year, you may be dreading the moment the clock strikes midnight. At this point, you may think there’s nothing worse than feeling lonely on New Year’s Eve. However, there are a few solutions you can try for a happy New Year and to find comfort and connection to beat loneliness in the future.

Understanding the loneliness epidemic

If you’re feeling lonely this holiday season, you’re not alone in your feelings. In the United States and across the globe, public health authorities are raising the alarm on what they call a growing loneliness epidemic. According to the Surgeon General, about half of adults in the US reported feeling lonely before the Covid-19 pandemic. 

This rate of loneliness may be due to several factors, including overuse of social media, the shift toward working from home, and declining membership rates in religious organizations. In North America especially, car-reliant urban and suburban environments have created a culture where personal interactions are less frequent and “third places”—where people can spend time away from home and work—are few and far between. More people may be alone on New Year’s than in previous years. 

Why do I feel more lonely around the holidays?

Around the holidays, when tradition may call for gathering with family and friends, feelings of isolation can be pronounced. You might feel alone and lost as you watch the rest of the world connect with loved ones and feel sad that you’re spending New Year’s alone. The contrast between the joy and festivities that others seem to enjoy and your own sense of solitude or low self-esteem can create a sharp sense of disconnection, particularly if you are bombarded by social media and advertising portrayals of celebration and togetherness. 

New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, in particular, can be a challenge—you may naturally find yourself reflecting on the year past and contemplating the coming year. You could have high expectations about having a “perfect time” with others or watch others with their partners, friends, and family from the sidelines. You may feel more acutely lonely on New Year’s Eve if you haven’t spent much time connecting with friends and family.  It might be challenging, but try to allow yourself to feel these feelings and practice self-care (e.g., rest, nutritious foods, etc.) to boost your spirits. Reading books or watching familiar movies at your house or in a safe place could help to ease the loneliness. You could even step out of your comfort zone and volunteer at a children’s hospital or homeless shelter to forge a positive connection with others this holiday season.  

Ways to overcome feeling lonely on New Year’s Eve

If you dread spending New Year’s Eve alone, you have several options. Whether you’re motivated to find a connection or celebrate in solitude, there are many ways to make the evening enjoyable and meaningful, including but not limited to the following. 

Connect with a community

Engaging with a community can be a form of self-care and a powerful comfort for loneliness.  While it can be daunting to meet new people, you may find that others may also feel lost and share your desire to connect and expand your social circle. As a result of stepping out of your comfort zone, you might end up making new friends or receiving wise words from a new mentor.

Even if you have not been involved with these groups before the holidays, you may find them welcoming, sympathetic, and happy to meet someone new. Consider the following methods to find community: 

• Community centers: Community centers serve as safe places where neighbors can congregate as well as hubs for different events and activities, often hosting events on and around holidays to bring people together.

• Religious organizations: Regardless of whether you belong to the faith, religious communities often welcome locals to participate in their local community events. 

• Volunteer organizations: Look for local charities, NGOs, children’s hospitals, or community projects where you can volunteer outside the house. Working alongside others for a common goal can create a strong sense of community and belonging, and these organizations are often active around the holidays.

• Online communities: Platforms like Reddit, Discord, and MeetUp can be a way of meeting people “in real life.” You may find info about NYE events and parties to attend through these sites or apps. 

• Local businesses: New Year’s Eve can be a big day for local businesses, and many restaurants, bars, and venues host special events. Consider attending these events solo, as you may meet someone new. 

• Local publications: Check local newspapers and online publications for info about New Year’s happenings in your area.

• Clubs & fitness groups: While they may not be active on New Year’s Eve, it might be worth looking into joining a local club or fitness group. Groups can be an excellent way of meeting new people who share your interests.

Find virtual connections

Sometimes, staying busy reading books and watching movies might not be enough to overcome isolation. Even if you don’t have in-person plans for New Year’s Eve, you can combat loneliness by connecting virtually, whether with friends or a new connection. Consider reaching out to a friend or family member—even if they’re far away, as a voice or video call may help you bridge the physical gap and feel connected to your loved ones. They may also have wise words for you to help you get through a difficult season. 

You may also benefit from online events and discussions, allowing you to engage with others from a safe place even if you do not know them personally. Social media apps that offer live voice chat rooms (e.g., Discord, Clubhouse, Reddit, and X) can be a fun way to connect with people and engage in live discussions about many topics. In addition, websites and apps designed for language learning often have community features where people can practice their new language live with native speakers.

In the digital age, several platforms and websites allow you to chat with people in real-time. Look for websites, forums, and social platforms that cater to your hobbies and interests to find an online community. Consider stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something new. 

Host a gathering in your own life: Activities to make the night feel special 

It can be challenging to be left out of the celebrations happening around you. Reading books, watching movies, and chatting online can only keep you occupied for so long. However, you might consider hosting a party of your own as a way of keeping busy and practicing self-care. Reach out to people around you and invite them to an impromptu NYE gathering, even if it feels out of your comfort zone. Message your friends, neighbors, and acquaintances—even those you may not know well—and tell them you’re hosting. Some of these individuals may be in a similar situation and need to get out of the house themselves.  

Aim to keep the event casual and avoid too much pressure. You might consider providing drinks and hors d'oeuvres (a new recipe, perhaps) and inviting others to do the same. It may also be beneficial to set up games for the children and activities to break the ice and encourage people to get to know one another.

Embrace solitude instead of feeling lonely on New Year's eve

While celebrating with close friends and family face-to-face may be traditional, you may not have an obligation to be social on New Year’s Eve. Setting the intention to embrace solitude can help you reframe your experience and combat any “FOMO” (fear of missing out) you may be experiencing.

Instead of believing you are left out, spend quality time with yourself and focus on your own life by indulging in activities you love. New Year’s Eve can also be an excellent time to reflect on your achievements over the past year and set goals for the new year. Even when dealing with loneliness or isolation, you may find comfort in learning to enjoy your own company. 

Create a personal celebration

Even without a New Year’s Eve party, you might enjoy creating a celebration for yourself if you feel lonely. Consider preparing a special meal, watching the ball drop online, pampering yourself with a home spa night, or setting up a cozy movie marathon with your favorite films. You might also find comfort in activities aimed at personal growth, like creating a vision board, starting a bullet journal, or setting goals for your New Year’s resolutions.

Practicing self-care during a cozy night in

Rather than treating NYE like any other night in, try to take the opportunity to celebrate the holiday in a way that resonates with you. Your personal celebration can be a source of self-care, comfort, reflection, and peace—and may be preferable to the busy chaos and expense of a night on the town. This process may help you step out of your comfort zone and avoid falling into a period of sadness during the holidays. Consider hunkering down, whether at your house or in another safe place, and watching movies from your childhood, trying out a new recipe, or reading books by an author you like. 

Plan ahead for the New Year: Setting intentions for the year ahead

New Year’s Eve can offer time to plan for the new year and avoid unrealistic expectations. Spending New Year’s Eve reflecting on your goals in the coming year and researching ways to achieve those goals can be the key to a happy new year. For example, to build and maintain meaningful relationships, you might look for local clubs or groups you can join in January. Even if things didn’t go as expected last year, new beginnings are ahead. Make a point of starting out in the right direction for a great new year in the future.

Create new traditions and embrace new beginnings

Old traditions we enjoyed as children can be comforting, but there’s a time to create new traditions for a happy New Year as well. While New Year’s resolutions can be a source of inspiration, they can also be notoriously difficult to stick with, so it may be worth using tried-and-true goal-setting and productivity techniques like SMART Goals, to-do lists, and time blocking to ensure your planning translates into action. Achievable goals can lead to new beginnings and chapters in your life in the future. Start off in the right direction for a great New Year. 

Reach out for support from a mental health professional 

You are not alone if you want to make friends and meet people. Others may be experiencing similar feelings of loneliness and searching for community, and you may find that people are more than willing to hang out if you make the first move. Forging a new connection might mean talking to a stranger and being open about your intention to connect. 

If your loneliness becomes overwhelming, reach out for support or talk to a mental health professional. Asking for support could mean talking to friends or family about how you’re feeling or seeking help from mental health professionals. Support groups, both in-person at treatment facilities and online, can also be a valuable resource for combating loneliness. Seeking help can be a sign of strength, and many avenues are available to help you with self-reflection and coping with a difficult time in your life. In addition, therapy can treat common mental health conditions that may be a cause of loneliness, such as depression. 

Online therapy for loneliness

If you’re living with feelings of loneliness and isolation, whether you’re a single person or in a relationship, it may be worth connecting with a mental health professional through an online therapy platform like BetterHelp. You can discuss your feelings with your therapist and work through any issues preventing you from connecting with others. They may also offer helpful guidance and suggestions practicing self-care, getting out of your comfort zone, making new friends, and getting involved with a community. This could not only lead to a happy New Year’s Eve, but also point you in the direction for new beginnings and a great new year ahead.  

Online therapy may be preferable for those who want a flexible and convenient way to attend sessions, which may be particularly valuable as your calendar fills up. In addition, it tends to be more affordable than in-person therapy and is known to be as effective. Online therapy can treat common mental health challenges and conditions, such as depression, anxiety, or stress. For people with social anxiety disorder or another challenge, online therapy may be more comfortable, as you can attend sessions from home.