Single On Valentine’s Day? Some Ways To Still Celebrate

Although Valentine’s Day is known as a romantic holiday for couples, it doesn’t have to be a sad day for singles. It can be understandable for single people to feel lonely and left out on February 14th. However, millions of people are single on Valentine’s Day, and it can still be possible to have a fun and fulfilling day, even if you’re alone. 

Feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day?

When February 14th rolls around, you may experience a sense of impending doom or anxiety. For people who aren’t in a relationship, the holiday might seem like a reminder that they are single. You may experience loneliness, sadness, regret, or self-doubt as you see couples go on a first date or show their love with each other. If you’ve been single for many years, you might have thoughts of giving up on love altogether. 

If you relate to these experiences, you’re not alone. According to the AARP, 26% of single adults are lonely on Valentine’s Day, compared to those who are dating (19%) or those who are in romantic relationships (6%). The researchers found that 23% of adults, whether single, in a relationship, or dating, have negative feelings about Valentine’s Day. Some people believe the holiday emphasizes thoughts about being unlovable or alone. Others may cringe at the holiday if they have experienced difficulties with love.

It's normal to feel lonely on Valentine’s Day. However, you’re not alone in being single, and it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or that you are not worthy of love. Millions of people are not in relationships, which does not automatically imply anything about their character or lovableness.

Celebrating being single

While some people may dread Valentine’s Day and its related story of love, romance, and coupledom, others might experience a sense that they are free and liberated. Some single people are thankful they get the time and space to spend Valentine’s Day with themselves, their friends, or family members rather than a romantic partner. 

Thankfulness may exist for several reasons. Perhaps someone has had negative romantic experiences in the past and is thankful they are no longer in that situation. Some people may also not be interested in romantic relationships in general. Those not in relationships may have more time to spend with their friends and family and can devote more time to their hobbies, interests, and self-care. These factors can lead to higher life satisfaction when compared to people in romantic relationships.

Although culture and media convey that it’s impossible to be happy if you’re not in a relationship, research says otherwise. A study of British women revealed that 61% of singles were happy being single. In addition, experts suggest that the happiest demographic of all is single women without children. Whether you're single or in a relationship, satisfaction and fulfillment are possible. 

How to spend Valentine’s Day while single

Valentine’s Day can be a perfect day to celebrate self-love, even as you go about your usual activities. Why not make it a great opportunity to treat yourself to some fancy takeout or use the day as a perfect excuse to start learning a new skill? This shift in perspective can transform an ordinary day into an occasion that reminds you of your worth and the joy in your world. Below are a few activities to try. 

Connect with loved ones

Valentine’s Day is often focused on love, but it doesn’t have to be romantic love. Consider spending it with a friend or family member for “Galentine’s” Day or “Palentine’s” Day. You can plan an activity with your loved one, such as making a new recipe together or going to the movies. You can even plan a small trip to see a family member in a nursing home.

Focus on self-love

You can take Valentine’s Day as a sign to fully embrace self-care. It’s about celebrating the relationship you have with yourself and taking the time to realize the importance of putting your needs first without having to wait for someone else to validate your worth. 

The idea of self-love can look different for everyone. However, it often involves taking care of yourself through activities like eating nutritious meals, partaking in your hobbies, getting regular exercise, journaling, and relaxing. You may consider having a spa day to rest and feel good, which you can do at home or at a local spa. You can also consider planning your year ahead by making a vision board. 

Examples of self-love include:

• Practicing gratitude: Consider writing a list of ten aspects of your everyday life for which you’re grateful, whether big or small. You can also celebrate your achievements and the obstacles you've overcome.
• Repeating positive affirmations: Write down or say aloud to yourself, “I am lovable,” “I am strong,” or another affirmation that resonates with you.
• Practicing mindfulness: Try a meditation on Valentine’s Day if you’re feeling blue. Research indicates that mindfulness meditation can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression symptoms. 
• Giving yourself a gift: Treat yourself to something special, whether it's a small item you've had your eye on or an experience that brings you happiness. 

Hang out with friends 

If you have other single friends, Valentine’s Day may offer the perfect opportunity to meet up with them. Spending the day with friends can highlight the best part of being single—the freedom to enjoy the company of those you absolutely love. For example, you and your friends can catch up over coffee or grab food at your favorite restaurant together. You could also go for a nature walk in a botanical garden or visit a museum in your local town or city. You can also consider other “Palentine’s” Day activities, such as the following:

• Take a flower arranging class 
• Have a movie marathon
• Play board games
• Have a wine and painting night
• Have a tea party
• Watch the sunrise or sunset together 
• Treat yourselves to a spa day 
• Plan for future adventures or trips together
• Have a conversation while strolling through the city

Change up your living space

If you’ll be spending Valentine’s Day alone, consider changing your living environment to create a more peaceful, cozy space that reflects who you are. Reorganizing can be a way to tidy up and improve your mental health. According to Mental Health America, a cluttered living space can contribute to stress, depression, confusion, and difficulty focusing. Sprucing up your environment may help you ground yourself and feel calmer. 

Give back to others

To spread love this Valentine’s Day, consider giving back to your community. You might volunteer at an animal shelter or soup kitchen or help your grandparents with a project with which they’ve needed assistance. Supporting others may alleviate sadness or loneliness, and research shows that volunteering can effectively boost physical and mental health. Helping others can increase self-esteem and life satisfaction while reducing psychological distress.

Support options for loneliness 

Valentine’s Day may incite sadness and loneliness in some people. For others, negative feelings may occur no matter the day of the year. If you’re experiencing chronic loneliness or sadness, you may consider working with a therapist or counselor. Your therapist can help you identify why you feel lonely and guide you in creating solutions to feel better.

If you would be more comfortable with therapy from your home, online therapy could benefit you. Through a platform like BetterHelp, you can get matched with a therapist who has experience with your concerns. In addition, you can choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions, giving you control over how you receive support. 

Studies indicate that online therapy can be equally as effective as traditional in-person therapy when treating various mental health conditions. However, you don’t have to have a mental illness or diagnosis to go to therapy. Over 41.7 million US adults see a therapist each year, and four out of ten Americans prefer online therapy.